must keep plodding on

[lawzwarren]

Hi everyone , hope every1 is aswell as can be . This rant is about people , family and friends . As women we keep a household going the best we can , but because we keep going and going i dont think people realise how much pain we are actually in and this really frustrates me . As im not walking around in tears 24 7 they think im fine well im not . Im in pain constantly and yes i do feel like crying most of the time but we have to keep every thing going so we push on the best we can. I have a blue badge due to bowel problems and have stopped using it as the dirty looks i get are awful. i can see whats going through their minds which is useally " well there doesnt look anything wrong with her" people just dont see our hidden illnesses . Has any1 else been made to feel this way??

[gail76]

Hi, sadly yes I feel this way too. I have to use a stick sometimes and other times I don't need it. I know that even my own family and friends think its not as bad as I am telling them. The reality is I'm pretending to well not pretending to be ill.

you are not alone hun.

Gail x

[SewingPoodle in reply to gail76]

I back what everyone else says. I don’t qualify for a blue badge but am just coming to the end of nearly 3 months of being house bound because of not being able to go anywhere because of the pain. It was very frustrating but I always knew that if they cd sort out my meds my pain for my AI cd be controlled. Use your blue badge you would not have been awarded it if you did not need it. If idiots make a judgement that you do not or are not able to ignore either make the comments others have suggested or get on your dignity and remind them that not all illnesses are visible and they should not make a judgement unless they are prepared for you to make an equally nasty and quite likely inaccurate judgement about them. I made the comment to a group of rather obnoxious junior work colleagues (I stopped work very shortly afterwards) who were all rather shocked that if they were making judgements people might be making some about them). Sometimes it is either better to butt out or to make a polite enquiry. I have never been able to go back to work and a lot is to do with that experience and I wish I had said it a lot earlier. People are bullying you. Don’t let them. You are entitled. I wish you didn’t need it but you. It is your right. Don’t let anyone stop you from having the benefit of it

[rosewine]

Yes because we try to put a brave face on things people don't realise how ill we feel on a daily basis. Do use your blue badge you wouldn't have got it if you weren't entitled to it don;t let these biegoted judgemental people make your life a misery it is them that have the problem not you. Why should you have to walk farther than you can easily manage because of them don't let them win.x

[M0AL61 Moderator Volunteer in reply to rosewine]

I totally agree with what rosewine has said above. Please keep using your blue badge, and forget about what other people think. If anyone says anything nasty to you, just reply with …. "Well I might not look disabled, but then again, you don't look stupid". That's what I have started to say if I get any nasty comments, and it usually stops them in their tracks. xx

[Dinkie]

I have a blue badge and now have a sticker in the back window which says "not all disabilities are visible" I haven't been challenged since I put it there. May be worth considering.

[Midori]

Please use your Blue Badge. It doesn't matter what folk think; its none of their business! Don't worry about them. I'm thinking about getting a Teeshirt with I don't look disabled? Well you don't look stupid. Appearances are deceiving!

[bobbybobb]

Rise above it. Don't worry yourself about insignificant people. Be sure in the knowledge that, it is they, who are ignorant and small minded, so feel sorry for them to live in a life filled with tunnel vision.

[lawzwarren]

thank you for all of your replies and thank you for the advice, it means alot , to no i can come on here and chat with others.

[Mary-intussuception]

Yes.

I lost my Blue Badge as the Council changed the rules. Now you have to have Mobility component of DLA or PIP to have one. I can't cope with the procedure and the deceit involved in applying for disability benefits so have to go without. If you don't get PIP or DLA you have to write down all your medical conditions for them to decide. I have a 2 page long list of medical conditions and it's painful to handwrite also distressing to remind myself of all I'm suffering from so I go without benefits and Blue Badge.