Does anyone with fibro, when got worries at home, make there flare ups worse

hope someone can help me.. i have a big problem at home with my sons relationship with a girl, thats not healthy for him. he is such a gem..everyone says that.. but the girl involved is basically taken the p out of him.. i know its his prbblem but he tells me everything.. and although as a mother my heart goes out to him and i want to help..but its making me itll... and i am in agony.. anyone help with what i can do and does anyone else get a flare up with worry ???

many thanks x

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  • just sit him down and talk to him , dont slag her off just listen offer advise but dont tell him what to do, my youngest son went out with his girlfriend for 5 yrs 14-19 she was fine but very controller she said jump her asked how high, he d always have to rush off and was at her beck and call, we said very little, until theyd booked to go to tenerife she wanted the best hotel he couldnt really afford it but they booked , he had a buy all new clothes new passports, worked long hrs to pay for it, hes in college and works part time, a few hours before they were due to go , she phoned him saying she couldnt go as she had a sore throat, so they didnt go, she was dumped a few days later. he had the sense to say enough was enough

  • thanks for replying.... its so hard not to get involved eh.. i do just listen but i am going trhough a lot of pain just now, only give him advice when he asks..which to be honest is all the time lol..so glad ur son saw sence... hope eh will soon.... is he happy now???

  • some times its easier said then done putting yourslef first, as a mum of 5 renging from 27-13, i still class them all as my babies stupid I know, as for stress it really doesnt help Ive got coping mechanisms now they help a bit

  • your right honey thanks for replying xxxx

  • Stress is the real killer for me,

    I cant even have a normal argument with my other half no more as it ends up me being uncontrolably crying over nothing then pain pain pain.

    I have a gud thing now, ignorance is bliss most of the time.

    Life is full of stress though which we sometimes cant hide from.

    kel xxx

  • hey that is me.. my son was ok last night as in wasnt crying..but i was crying like a baby lol... hope ur ok today xx

  • I have a very stressful life too, lost my Mum 6 months ago and my husband has advanced alzheimer's and has been in a home for 6 years - he's only 61 now - and my son and daughter in law are always moaning about each other to me and split up last week, my step daughter moans about her step son and on it goes. I also work as a registered childminder and do 10 hour days and then there is the paperwork. And I'm 60 this year. I'm stressed and very very tired.

    I've been having something called The Emmett Technique for 2 weeks now - a one hour session on a Friday, my 'day off'. Today Debbie, the woman who I see introduced me to the EFT Sequence.

    This is Emotional Freedom Technique. Some of you might have heard of it. I just googled it and it's there so have a look. Have a go and see if it helps at all. Debbie gave me a sheet with the instructions so if anyone wants me to send them a copy, send me a pm with your email address and I'll happily scan it and send it to you.

    Hugs Sue xxx

  • Morning Jules,

    I agree, we have kids and they are always a worry, I know my Mum worried about me till the day she died.

    I'm glad you've spoken to your 'children', it is necessary sometimes, they don't realise how old we are let alone how much we are ill or in pain. If they can accuse you of being selfish, you do right to leave them to it. They are old enough to not need us really aren't they.

    Hugs back and hope you can have a restful weekend Jules. xxx

  • stress of any kind makes me worse the slightest bit of worry and im in alot of pain and i dont seem to be able to control my stress either and i try so hard not to let things get to me but it never works

  • Stress, worry or upset, call it what you like, but Yes the pain is almost instant for me. I have now learned to not worry about anything that I am unable to change, sadly when it comes to family members especially your children (no matter how old they are) it is not always that easy.

    I do hope that you manage to sort out your problems with your son soon

    Jane x

  • Yes when stress is worse,the pain is worse. My daughter who was 14 at the time went missing last March and even though later on I knew she was alive not knowing where or who with sent me off the edge and i ended up in hospital. She came home 8 weeks ago and i was so happy and she seemed so happy but ten days ago she disappeared again, I now know she is living in a squat with some boy so my pain levels have gone through the roof again to the point thati f it wasn't for my other daughter i would just give up.

    Kids who have them lol

    I hope your son sorts his relationship soon so that you are less stressed xx

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