I know the first time I posted I was doing great working (nurse) . By doing well I meant go to work running late , sleeping on my break, and coming home straight to my bed , no other life but it made do as I love my nursing job.
I’ve been off work as I got very sick physically and mentally and Occy health stated I was not fit for work. ( they were right )
It’s been 2 months I want to go back work but the problems I face I can’t seem to take control of them, insomnia ,pain all over , back disc issues, mobility , poor appetite .. I mean you all know the list goes on.
I’m trying to do things so I can get back to a time where I can manage . So I’m taking steps such as therapy , yoga class but one week I can do it and one week I can go outside the house . I really don’t want to leave or lose my job . I’ve worked hard to get to where I am. And feel so guilty letting my team down.
Anyway sorry for ranting , I have a pip assessment ,this week , I was adviced to get help by work, Occy health etc . I’ve seen some posts on here how they work but my memory is bad I know I’m going to miss things out because I assume they don’t encourage more details.
any new advice would help . But I am going to be honest and tell them I am going back to work because that’s my end goal even if it means I have to crawl into the hospital and my office 😆.
Lastly I just want to say I am soo grateful I found this group it’s been a very lonely 6 years with the fibromyalgia etc. If only we could do a yearly face to face coffee or something or even virtual it would be sooo nice. No one in my life understands or will ever understand how my life is .
Oh and one more thing . Is thier anyone with any experience of ADHD one of my therapist things I might have it but she can’t say anymore . Is it adhd or is it depression or fibromyalgia related - god knows .
Anyway thank you to all .
Nour x
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Noura1985
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First of all, (because you asked, not because I'm telling you what to do?) there is no going back to anything. Sorry about that. Life and time move forward. Resistance can cause stagnation while it holds you stuck, unsure how to progress. To get unstuck, you kinda have to move forward into what you want. Past is gone. Try to see it as we bring our experiences both good and not so great with us, having hopefully gained greater wisdom and humility along the way. You can't go back to a younger fitter version of you but you can start to learn the lessons your Fibro has to teach. Doesn't mean you can't become an older fitter version of yourself in time, who feels younger, who can say?
For each of us, I expect all our life lessons are tailored to us.
I would guard against forcing your poor bod to do anything more than it can manage. I felt a bit sorry your creaking bod forced to crawl back to work because it's what you demand from it. Try to have a little compassion for how it is struggling right now. I think you may need to figure how to heal, and not how to push harder? Or at least unpick how you got to where you are? I suspect you have been very good at pushing through. Just saying because pushing (and not listening to my body screaming) didn't work out so well for me. It's your choice of course.
Second, if you have ADHD or other neurodiversity, you have been working harder than most, just to get anywhere. If you had a diagnosis, you would perhaps learn how much you have been putting on a show for others so you look normal. It's exhausting! It's also not healthy. You would hopefully learn how to manage better so you don't burn out or make yourself sick.
Would occupational health help you get a diagnosis? I think it's getting really hard now to get help on the NHS so their input might be helpful?. Else you might consider paying?
They are now saying ADHD, ASD etc do seem to accompany Fibro and ME and other weird conditions. There is a lot to learn still but if you go online, youtube etc, there are loads of good people sharing their experiences and knowledge for free. Fascinating stuff.
Beware of how everyone now seems to think they are a little ADHD, just like a while back they imagined they were a little OCD. It's creating a backlash from haters which is sad. I think it's inevitable there will be a glut of people diagnosed ATM because there are so many (particularly women) who got overlooked as children and now need to know what's wrong.
I think working with ADHD is both about understanding how it hinders, and also understanding where it gives you advantages. If you spin it positively, your difference can be your superpower.
Thank you so much , I feel like you gave me better advice for free than my therapist . I am very grateful for your reply . I will keep reading it because it needs to stick to my head or in my head I don’t know lol.
I’m also a Nurse and wanted to reiterate what the person who posted above has said, there’s really no going back to anything. I’ve also been fighting my diagnosis and trying to get back into work, and my work isn’t even physical nursing and even that’s impossible for me at this time, due to brain fog and my capacity to make wise decisions for others (Occy Health actually advised it wouldn’t be safe for me to be making these decisions with my own limitations)
I really feel for you as I know how hard you have worked to be where you are. Unfortunately this diagnosis doesn’t care about all that. All it cares about is making you stop and take stock of here and now, not about looking after everyone else but now focussing on yourself.
So I’ll add. Just be your own nurse for a while. If things improve in the longer term who’s to say you can’t go back to working then. If not, you need to find your new normal and work with what you have left. I know it’s not easy but acceptance really is key.
Hi Nour, sorry to hear what you've been going through. I can't imagine how hard it must be working as a nurse, constantly on your feet and the physical side on top. Our daughter was treated for depression for years and then she was diagnosed with Adult ADHD when she was over 41/42. The change in her with the different medication was evident in a week. I hope you get properly diagnosed and the help you need. Don't overdo it as fibromyalgia doesn't like that and bites back! As you probably already know! 😜😂 Warm wishes x
Go on a website called Benefits and Work and sign up to their membership, it's only a small fee and you get access to so many guides that really help with the PIP assessment process, they give you all the information you'll need to get thru it.
I was the same as you, I loved my job (social worker) so I know you can relate to the workload involved. The biggest thing for me was the cognitive issues, not sleeping and of course the pain, fatigue no matter how much I slept. It just wasn't a good mix. I've now been off work for nearly 3 years which I never thought I would be. It took me a very long time to accept the fact I couldn't work and then I ran myself into a deep depression which of course didn't help.
I'm on PIP, standard Daily Living and enhanced mobility. I believe I should have gotten enhanced DL but did not expect to get enhanced mobility, I didn't even attempt to get enhanced on that but the assessor said in her final report that what I'd said about my mobility did not match up with my functional history (part of the assessment) which is basically your medical evidence and diagnoses. So for that reason I attempted a mandatory reconsideration as I was happy they gave me that, but I know that I'm definitely entitled to enhanced DL but I'm going to wait until my review which will be in 2 years now. I was only 2 points away and if they'd understood the condition I have in my hands I would have gotten it and there were a few other questions they got wrong. I was marked down on my hand issue because I drive a manual car which has absolutely nothing to do with the issues I'm my hands. I'm T1 Diabetic and I was diagnosed with Diabetic cheiroarthropathy which is stiff hand syndrome and I can't cook a meal from fresh as I can't continously grip meaning I can't peel, chop stir etc. Next time, I will just put that I've got stiff hand syndrome instead of putting Diabetic cheiroarthropathy and hopefully they'll understand it better, but it was a nurse who did my assessment and I thought she would have known, but then alot of nurses don't really understand diabetes in general (sorry if you do, I don't mean it personally), so my advice is really dumb it down, put lots of detail about why you can't do things because it could be anyone doing your assessment.
The Benefits and Work guides really helped prepare me though, i definitely recommend them. I'll put a link in a private message for you as I'm not sure you're allowed to post them on here.
Thank you Angela for your lovely message and advice .
I’m making a plan it’s just hard to stick to it .
With regards to the assessment it really makes me wonder if they all assess the same way . And yes Diabtes is specialized specificality and not all the nurse would know but there job to assess which Id like to believe that they should find out about the conditions before making a decision. Each individual is different .
My nursing job that I am currently in is specialized and comes under the Diabtes specialty, so i don’t do a lot of lifting or any heaving nursing but there is some clinical aspect to it . I had to move jobs to this one because I was not coping with the old nursing job it was too heavy and I was sick a lot .
But then I burnt myself out physically and mentally with this job . I wil just listen to my body make a plan and start with small steps , diet as well as @nipper11 Suggested .
Thanks Noura.Unfortunately they don't all assess the same. And yes, you'd think they would find out if they wasn't sure but they don't. It's not assessed fairly at all. The system is broken and there needs to be change.
I completely understand your issues at work, I went thru it all and I burnt myself out bcoz I didn't want to stop work but when it got to the point that I knew I wasn't practicing safely anymore due to cognitive difficulties I knew it was time to stop. I couldn't keep up with the pace of the work either so it was getting to the time I was going to be let go anyway. It's an awful condition to have.
I've sent you a PM about the assessment.
Nipper gives great advice to so it's good to have that too xx
Your a brave girl in sharing your emotions and struggles you have had with life and fibromyalgia. I too had the same challenge as you and had to have a sensible working plan to get me back to my job and the work place..This was my journey returning back to work it took me 8 months to complete but I achieved so much.
Write a plan of what you need to improve in your lifestyle changes and habits.
Review my medication 💊 with my GP and research the side effects which could be creating more problems for me .
I decided to take myself off 4 lots of painkillers over a slow period of time. As I feft so much better with out them. If I want to push my body harder than normal. I take Tramadol 50mg but not all the time because long term pain killers do not work.
Next step was to
Change my diet to eating lots of high vitamins foods which would supported my immune system. And Inflammatory condition linked to fibromyalgia.
Stop eating red meat.
Started eating more of
Eggs /milk
Increase protein intake each day.
White meat only like chicken or pork or turkey.
Eating fish. Sardines.
Increased my vegetable intake
Peppers 🌶
Green leaf 🍀 vegetables
🥕 carrots.
Lettuce
Tomato
Cumber
Beet root very good for your body.
Increase your water intake every day .
Only eating sour dough bread or rolls
Crip bread
No salt.
Jacket potato.
Bakes beans
Garden peas.
Pine nuts
Whole nuts
Oranges 🍊
Apple 🍎
Strawberries 🍓
Blueberries 🫐
Blackberry.
Raspberry.
Celery. Lots of it.
Cream chesse
Chesse
Peaches 🍑
Pineapple 🍍
Drinking green tea and herbs teas
Lemon in warm water to support my system.
And much more.
You should research self-help foods for Fibromyalgia as some food will create your symptoms to be worse and other food will help you.
I lost weight to support my muscles. I started chair exercises and rubbing my muscles with magnesium spray and took magnesium tablets.. took Zine. And vitamins D. And C .
Started to take fibromyalgia vitamins I brought from amazon. Which after a period of time they helped me.
I changed my foot wear .
Brought a mattress topper for my bed to support pressure points .
Stretching exercises everyday through out the day to stop pain.
Use a tens machine to support pain levels.
Kept my muscles warm but wearing thermal wear.
Took warm baths in Epson salts
Work out routine to support me.
Research self-help ongoing because there is so much out there and loads of Information on this site available to you and of course the community on this wedsite are outstanding.
Sign up with talking therapist website to share you fears and ideas to move forward because they will help you..
Ask you GP to be put forward to the pain clinic course and other courses living with long term illness./pain. Go forward with anything that he can offer to understand pain and your body and mindset.
Your plan needs to be small steps . Learn to listen to your body.. one day you might achieve loads of jobs . next day you might have no energy so balance your self out . It's important you do that.
Changes to lifestyle takes time so be positive it will happen. These are only suggestions they worked for me .
Be positive Everyday if possible. Do not let this illness make you a different person. Hang on to you and make big change to your mindset. Good luck and you need a plan to return back to work perhaps part time for a month or two 😉 let your body get used to this working life. Good luck and a huge hug 🫂 your going to be strong to turn this around. God bless xxx
Hi Nipper11, My hubby is T2 diabetic, so, we have eliminated lots of foodstuffs but increased vegetable intake. I too have Epsom Salt baths regularly. My Pilates helps me but not if it's done too energetically.
My friend calls me Mrs positive! With Fibro getting outside can be a challenge but even opening the door to look out is better than keeping the door shut🤙
I love trying to be positive everyday if possible 😌 I have challenged myself to have an attitude to kick back at this illness and keep being me. Well done to you and your other half with dealing with lifestyle changes because they are not easy. Take care . Xxx
Just one thing to think about and a suggestion. ... 1) Old age as it comes on from menopause even, is even more limiting, especially if you have overworked your back in the past. Nursing is not exactly the best thing for a back or hips! 2) My Aunt who had polio trained in occupational therapy and worked in psyche hospitals after that even from her wheelchair so the suggestion - look at alternatives such as the kind of occupation which is still interaction with the sick, or counselling. Part time or job share also relevant maybe. All the best. No need for a reply.
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