My cousin is getting married in just over a week's time. And, I am dreading it. She is getting married in an old church that is very cold. And, my mother told me that there is supposed to be some kind of icy winds and weather coming from Siberia two days before the wedding. So the temperature is predicted to be 0 degrees Celsius for my cousin's wedding. To make things even worse, the dress code for the wedding is formal wear. After many hours, I have managed to find a formal dress with long sleeves that will fit me. (It seems like almost all formal dresses are either short sleeved or sleeveless.) And, I do have a pair of thermal tights that I am going to wear with it. But, I know I am going to freeze.
Because it is a formal dress code, I don't think I can wear my big coat, gloves, or hat. Furthermore, from what I have read online, the only formal covering one can have as a woman is a shawl, so I can't even wear a jacket. I don't know how I am going to survive the ordeal. I wish I didn't have to go at all.
Does anyone have any ideas of how I could stay warmer?
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Twin4Life
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Obviously thermal undies would be good as I'm sure you've already thought of them, you can get tight fitting full length sleeves and like a biker short length on the bottom. If it was me though, I would still go with a lovely long warm coat, forget formal, comfort and as pain free as possible trumps everything else! If you need gloves & a hat, wear them too, everyone else will be absolutely fine chittering through the ceremony, you know you won't.
Maybe call your cousin and say, what you intend to do. Preface it with telling how you are looking forward to her day and celebrating with her. You have your nice outfit planned but you are also going to wear your layers (including warm coat!) as per the weather and keeping yourself warm. You need to look after your fibro condition the best you can else you will probably not last the day. And I feel sure she will be delighted you want to make the effort to come.
Fibros need to advocate for themselves more. I don't mean moaning on the day that your flimsy outfit isn't keeping out the cold, I mean up front, boldly (politely) telling how you need to put your needs for the day, front and centre so you can enjoy the day (without suffering on the day and after).
I think you will have a much better day if you wear the clothes you can be comfortable in. I would consider it very rude if anyone shamed a guest at my party for what they are wearing. Indeed I have very dear friends who do just that; Wear what is comfortable for them. It's OK to be different and likely, you won't be the only sensible one wrapped up.
For many, dressing up fancy is a joy and hang how they might feel chilly. For you, it isn't, so I think it's OK for you to do you.
You have a disability, you are a special case. I could not function in that environment. I'd be wearing my heated socks and gloves and possibly taking a hot water bottle. If they like you they will not want you to suffer for a dress code. I'd offer to take things off for the photos. We're built different, all we can do is mitigate it as much as possible.
Wear what you feel warm and comfortable in I'm sure your cousin would understand, don't make yourself ill over the cold weather. Or speak to your cousin try explain that you special and need to keep wrapped up, I'm sure she would understand. Have a lovely day and enjoy yourself ❣️
Hi, I agree with others that you need to be comfortable in terms of keeping warm, and you also want to be comfortable in fitting in with the wedding party. Maybe they have been very specific about the dress code, but increasingly there's more flexibility about what 'formal' means. For the winter weddings I have seen many people wear coats over their dress outside and in the church if it's cold. I think something like a smart full length coat would be fine.
As well as what others have said, I would take hand warmers.
I think most couples want their guests to enjoy the day. If for you that means taking a blanket for the church, then I'd do that.
Hi i understand as i have a wedding in June and im worrying all ready, we can only do what we can . the wedding is in Scotland which is 4 hr drive , so will travel a day before ❣️💕
rather than being ill please dress for you xx I end up with coats n jackets in even in summer , not because I want to but it hurts so much .
Wear your fabulous dress but also have a pretty coat to wear / or plain one with a fab collar or scarf n sparkly something. Have a massive supply of hand warmers that you can press to get an hour of heat plus boots do a stick in heat pad that is expensive n disposable but great for emergency days like this .
You be you as your family I’m sure would prefer you smiling as warmer than sad . I have so many coats most bought in the second hand site for exact reasons of feeling cold as have to keep them on xx even in ridiculously high outdoor temperatures as my inner thermostat runs on freezing lol x
I agree with everyone's comments above. I sympathise with you - I get 'goosebumps' in summer when the sun is behind a cloud!
Can you ask your cousin to speak to the photographer to get all the photos with you in are done quickly so you are only cold for a short time?
Relax and try to enjoy the wedding. I'm chuckling away to myself imagining you, the sensible one, all warm and comfortable whilst everyone else is shaking with cold!
Sending positive vibes your way, hope it all goes well.
Hopefully reception is somewhere warm! "Formal" is simply a hat, a long thick, sensible coat and someone smiling who will not go down with pneumonia and make the bride feel guilty ever after. Gold earrings if you must! Enjoy! ... No need for reply.
Hi Twin4Life..This very much reminds me of when I used to go out on an evening before l was diagnosed with this disease. I was always amazed how my friends and most of the girls could go out with dresses off the shoulders and up to their thighs without needing a coat. I used to be frozen solid with a big coat on a scarf, gloves and I even wore boots because my feet were wrapped in plastic bags trying to keep my feet warm. I suppose I should have realized then that something was wrong. My friends used to laugh at me but I didnt care, I was too cold to care. They used to go into hysterics when they found I had Asda's best plastic bags wrapped around my feet inside my thick socks. I could never get warm when I was outside the house.
So I guess the moral to this is, not to suffer for the sake of other people and what they might say or not to care of what they may think. Just take care of yourself, because now, more than ever you need lots of self care with this disease.
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Family wedding
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