Hi everyone, I'm just looking for some support today after feeling so alone with everything and trying to manage living with this condition.
I live alone and spend much of my time not reallyseeingmuch of anyone, though I am lucky to have grown up children and grandchildren, and a couple of good friends. However they are all busy living their own lives and at times the feeling of being alone and 'unseen ' is unbearable.
Who knows if I'd be doing more if I didn't have fibromyalgia, but also having depression and anxiety creates a vicious circle which is hard to break out of.
Thanks for reading.
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Seascapes31
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Morning, I am sending you a very big wrap around gentle hug, I quite understand and I too sit and compare what everyone else is doing and I can’t join in like before, when the house is quiet I put on my local radio on , nice music & listen too what’s happening out in the County .yes everybody can be busy but sometimes a little nudge too say you need a visit isn’t too much too ask for .The weather hasn’t helped and we ve all been stuck indoors longer than we should , 1st time in ages I got too too sit outside this morning with my coffee , this morning I come on the forum and speak too members, it always reminds me we are part of this very big unwanted club and then I dont feel so alone. Have you any little hobbies for indoors,I wish sometimes I god could sit sew, knit or crochet (something I’m not very good at) have you a little garden ? when it’s warm you can sit outside xx
I struggle with being able to do the bare essentials in the garden. What I do is make the bits seen closest to the house a bit tidier, or the bit near where we can sit outside look nicest with a couple of planted pots I can't lift them so once someone puts them in place they stay there! That way it can make me feel better about a small part of the garden rather than seeing it as a bit of a burden. I send you warm wishes and the gentlest of hugs
i feel shut down. Couldn’t do anything all day sweating profusely. Very sad lonely & miserable. Have become isolated since leaving work with fibromyalgia. It’s hell on earth. Really miss my parents as when they were alive I could at least pop in for a cup of tea so I really do sympathise.
Hi and thanks for replying, I too feel very shut down. it's a good way to describe my life. I too had to leave work due to being in pain with fibromyalgia and my subsequent mental health issues, really miss my parents too.I'm sending you my best wishes. 🫶
You have a right to spend time with others ,It is being a human, deep in our ansestry (sorry cant spell) We learnt to be in tribes and always have others around us and be part of your community, Of course you can't force others to be around you,
I'm wondering if you explained to your children how your feeling? If they knew you were suffering with loneliness,Depression and Anxiety would they give you a ring and want to be a part of your life, Could you all get together for a Sunday roast at one of your homes?
I don't know if you are in the same area, I know this 💩💩y Fibro doesn't let you make plans from day by day let alone week to week, Even just a brew indoors or meet for a coffee? Do you have a carers centre near by? They will put you in the right direction to some day classes, Although you are not the carer yourself, They won't turn you away,
Please forgive me if I'm presuming, Don't you qualify for the Age UK? I would imagine having a day out with the club or just sitting down for a mealis sure to someone chatting to you or vise versa,
My life is being in my bedroom for about 4 yrs now,Only going out for appointments, I am aiming to be spending time downstairs before Christmas, I aim for the same thing every couple of months🤫 I try not to think too hard about seeing people or shopping, It would mean me planning,Taking some beta blockers, I have actually got to my front door not so long ago 🤨🤨
I have chronic social anxiety,Cant go to my garden without my Husband with me, Instant panic if someone knocks on the door, I have a massive problem with phones can't answer them and certainly can't have a conversation with someone on it,
My Fibro and me have to get along together, It explains a lot, I am alive but not living, I am 90% reliant on my electric wheelchair, A crappy way to live but for now it's my life, The only reason I am here is a very loving Husband,2 wonderful fur babies and a very old cranky,loud and stinky old puss,🐕🐕🐈⬛ 🧓🏻👩🏻🦼 I prefer my own company and hope you can get some soon
This big old Fibro Family is always around when needed, I hope you get some much needed company, A small dog or cat are always great companions
Thank you for your kind reply. You're right that it's comforting to have this forum with other people who ate suffering similarly and therefore understand.
Hi Seascapes - although I am not alone and have family around me, I do have a friend in your situation. Our GP surgery operates social prescribing which links her to support groups in her area which enables her to talk about her anxiety and also to get to local chat meetings. It is so difficult feeling so isolated. Big hugs
Hi and thanks for your kind reply. My GP has similar social prescriber. Also I'm lucky to have a good GP, she's due to follow up with me soon. Sending my best wishes to you and your friend, as I previously said, it's comforting to know that someone understands.
Morning I know exactly how you feel our situation & illnesses sound the same, I can go days without hearing off anyone, this is the first time I’ve posted on here, I just wanted to say your not on your own & if you ever feel you need a chat I’m here x
hi there I’m in same boat as you. I do have a husband who is very supportive when he’s not working. But even then I feel so low living in this pain bubble. Hope you feel better soon
Hi Seascapes I took am in a similar situation, moved to a new area, had fibro for 15 years. Partner of 25 years mentally abused me till I moved out, so he could move in new girlfriend. Son lives with dad, so does what he says, so don't see much at all. All friends at last area I lived, don't drive and not much money. If it wasn't for my cats I think I would give up, I am a strong person, probably like yourself, and have reached out to a easy walking group, which I have gone to and meet a few people when at group. I am in flat 24/ 7 , and I know feels very lonely. See what available around you and venture out when fibro let's you, in the sunshine, just saying hello to someone makes you feel good. Take care says hello anytime want to. Karen x
Bless you Karen for taking the time to reply. I'm sorry to hear your story. I too always think of myself as being a strong person as you say. I wonder if I wasn't strong what would happen, but that doesn't make it easier living a mostly isolated life.
I did try an easy walking group myself some weeks ago, it wasn't for me unfortunately.
Maybe something will come up if I feel able in few weeks.
Hi Seascape, Another one here who understands sadly 😥. I'm more of a lurker on here (that sounds creepy doesn't it!) But wanted to reply as I can relate to this also. It's so hard isn't it, the depression that comes with all of this, no one gets it, their life just carries on and it feels like we are left behind 💔
I have long covid which parallels the symptoms of ME/CFS so I'm constantly battling with pain & fatigue. Do you get prescribed decent pain relief? I find this allows me to 'force' myself to get up & going on some days which I know isn't ideal, but it helps me stay a bit active.
I'm still working part time which I'm battling to stay doing as its my only real social contact but it's such an uphill battle. And I'm currently having to take sick leave again because I just can't manage everything & I'm running myself into the ground constantly 😫
It's so hard isn't it we don't win no matter what we try to do. But don't forget there's always a community of support and people who DO understand. I'm wishing you some milder days 🙏. Remember sometimes the little things can bring a lot of joy. Currently I'm watching baby birds on spring watch cameras on YouTube. Reminds me it's still a wonderful world sometimes ❤️
Bless you for replying and not 'lurking' today 😀.When I was working before it was mostly my only social contact and sometimes it is hard to tell other people about it when they just don't get it, thank you.
I often wonder what I did in my life that was so bad that I should end up like this, however I am with you on taking pleasure in small things and enjoy the baby birds.
You are a very brave lady sharing such big emotions. There are many times this flow of emotions touch all of us at some stage with any illness which affects our everyday lifestyle and abilities and our mindset in dealing with these alone feelings.
My advise, I would give you is to register yourself to talking therapist website. These teams help you with your illness and emotions plus mindset. And they look for courses which will support you in getting control of the situation your are in.
There are many times I had people around me and still felt lonely because the people around me don't understand my body or my fibromyalgia and the changes it makes you feel.
See your GP there are many courses which you can benefit from and your doctor will recommend you to these groups. Living with long term illness. Living with pain long term .
The positive side to this is you meet new people who do understand how you feel and live with fibromyalgia plus they give you there tips to help you . The courses are run with video links.
They also do chair exercises which will help with pain. You deserve to be happy and build strength to do more things you like doing. 👍
every member on this site understand your feelings and frustration right now. Don't let this illness take over you. Hold on and kick back at negative feelings it's all normal when living with pain all over your body. Your going to be alright there are family members who care about you but don't really know what's going on and how you feel at times. Share with them how this illness can make you feel at times they will understand.
Good luck and take care. Big hugs . 🙂 xxx keep positive.
The specialist “thinks” my pain is due to Fybermyalgia after exhausting all avenues. I have a spine disorder but can’t sleep at night because of stabbing burning pain in my legs and hips. Also severe walking problems and weakness in my legs. Does anyone else suffer in this way? 😔
Oh thank you for your lovely kind words.You know years ago I would never have shared my feelings with anyone about how lonely I feel,since though even with the mental health issues it's actually made me less fearful of opening up to people .
Yes I think talking online therapist could be worth trying again. I've tried pretty much everything counselling wise, and with only limited short term success. However giving it another go is an option.
Thank you for my hugs . Any options could help. Of course there will be a few which don't work for you and others that do. It's hard being ourselves at times because we can all hide on how we really feel there are so many symptoms to fibromyalgia and other illnesses that it can exhausting just thinking about them and even harder explaining to others .
When I am feeling low through pain 😞 I take a look in the mirror and see a change in my face which looks tried and sad. Instead of thinking how poorly I look.
I smile , and say come on girl it's time to lift that face and stress and anxiety 🙃 and start living again. It's hard.
You are strong enough to deal with your thoughts and strong enough to help yourselves.
sending you a gentle hug …. And then another. Thank goodness for this site where we can connect with others who understand …. I get the ‘lonely feeling’ but feel very blessed to have a couple of very good friends. My family very busy with their own worlds and I don’t tell them the negative bits of living alone feeling exhausted and hopeless …. I suppose we just get on with it. My son recently moved out so now I’m looking at a new chapter…. I wish we had a place we could all meet and share our experiences and support each other …. A retreat …. If I had the resources I’d try to make it happen ….. we can but dream
Sending a hug as very much understand the loneliness. Definitely agree with some of the posters here in just saying to your friends and family that you feel very lonely and would welcome anyone around to drop in for a cuppa and chat. I was surprised when I explained how lonely I was a few years ago to my nearest and dearest and it’s changed how we all interact with each other and spread our time around and check in on each other.
I wonder are you able to volunteer for Silverline, to call and speak to some elderly people who are also alone? You could do this from your bed if necessary and it might be nice to feel like you are the one doing the helping this way around.
I’ve also heard of things like Chatty Cafe and some other voluntary places that offer regular calls for various reasons.
I hope the sunny weather makes a difference to everyone too.
Thank you for your kind reply and your suggestion to sharing more with my family, I will give it a go as im not sure ive really told them how bad it is sometimes. I've been thinking about what kind of volunteering I could actually cope with so I will look into the suggestions you have given me.
Thank you, the sun is shining here and I hope that its shining on you too.
I am in a very similar situation so I just wanted to say you are not alone we are all here for you🤗fybro is so so isolating and affects our mood day to day but you will be ok👍 I always feel a little bit better if I’m able to get out even for a short walk- whatever you can you manage - say hello to someone if you can
Hi there I have been where you are and thankfully feeling much better since joining a little craft group 2 years ago. It was just to get me out and socialising as I was so despondent although like you I have adult family and grandchildren. The group was 2 1/2 hours every Wednesday afternoon. Now I go there every week but also to another one on Friday afternoons for 3 hours and one on Tuesday evenings for 2hours. There are times I can’t go but I’ve made friends and we check in with each other by text/phone for support. So my advice would be to try and find a group that interests you and give it a go its the best thing I have done in years and wish I had done it sooner. I hope you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and wish you happy times ahead
hello seascape, I fully understand you as i was in a very similar situation although I don’t have children as I lost my husband early in my marriage to cancer both my parents are no longer with us and my siblings are estranged I lived a very lonely existence for 20 years or so after my husband died and decided I would go on line to make new friends it wasn’t easy for me as it’s not something I was eager to do but I did it and was very lucky to meet a gentleman who is now my partner so I no longer feel so lonely. Is there a book club or a coffee club you could join just to meet new people it’s always good to have a chat and it makes you feel less lonely. I wish you every happiness and hope you make lots of kind and caring friends. X
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