Fibromyalgia Action UK
38,760 members51,019 posts

feeling down ! why dont people understand ?

feeling so down and depressed after suffering with ME/CFS FIBRO IBS ARTHRITIS ETC ETC ow i forgot DEPRESSION im feel im not in a good place at the mo everything is getting on top of me i feel sooooo depressed im in violent pain every day all day cant cope living like this i dont feel i have any support think my family and friends are sick and tired of me moaning how ill i feel im struggling to keep my house in order this is so frustrating my house always used to be clean and tidy but now its a different story instead of the housework taking a couple of hours it takes me days and by the time its all done its time to start again my husband works but has ill health after several ops so doent do much to help and i have a teenage daughter who does or gives anything i feel like i have been robbed of my life an on a life sentance its really getti g to me im sick of crying all the time just want this pain to stop me an hubby argue all the time its having a big inpact on our relationship just wish peole would try and understand what i am going through and how i feel but they dont sorry for the rant feeling very low and sad today joanne x

7 Replies

Hi Joanne

I am sorry you are so low at the moment. It is ghastly when every thing gets on top of us.

It sounds as if you could with bit of help around the house I suggest you ask around or look in the local paper shop window. I was lucky a friend found a polish lass who helps me no end. The difference just a couple of hours a week has made to my sanity is amazing . Think about it it relieves the pressure gives you someone to talk (if your lucky) you can spend a little time becoming you again. I know you are going to say oh the expense well £8.00 an hour 2 hours a week I would not change mine for the world.

Let me know what you think



Hi Joanne,

I completely hear the desperation in your post, please know that here you are heard and understood. Some of us here can empathise so much with you as depression can hit so very hard and when it gets a grip on you, it feels like one will never get out of that horrid place. I have experienced this myself and so I feel your pain, both physical and emotional and how they cause a circle which one struggles hard to break. I can sit here and tell you that it will pass, and that things can change, but I think at the moment that is not what you need to hear, although it is true. I wonder if you can contact your GP and let him/her know how desperate you are feeling at the moment, and perhaps they can instigate some help and backup for you emotionally.

You say that you feel all your family and friends are fed up with hearing you saying how you are feeling, but I shall challenge that and say that is how you think, not necessarily what they are thinking. People sometimes feel that they don't know how to help a person who is suffering in the way that you are, and the only way that they will know is for you to actually sit there and tell them ......... You could even print off what you have written here and they will be able to see it in black and white, which may well make them say, "well how can we help you" then you have to overcome your urge to say "oh I'll be ok" (which is what I have done on many occasions) and tell them exactly how they could do something small to help, that way I am sure you will get more help.

I also think maybe your daughter needs to be told exactly how things are and that at her age she is capable of helping you ! I know teenagers can be stroppy, but If you give her any sort of allowance or "pocket money" then you can let her know that in return for that she is expected to do certain things around the house and that unless she does help then the money will not be forthcoming. I am aware I may well be slated for saying this, but I know one of my goddaughters had this ultimatum given to her and she turned from being very negative and sometimes extremely unpleasant, and she turned around within a couple of days, doing things she had previously refused. Now I know all family dynamics are different, but feeling as you do, anything is worth a go. If this doesn't work, of course I agree completely with gins in everything she says. If you manage to change just one part of this nightmare you are in at the moment, it can set in place a chain of changes which hopefully can help bring you out of your very dark place !

I am sending very large amounts of positive, healing and soothing vibes your way :-)

Foggy x


Hi joed

I have read your post with so much pain and sorrow for what you are clearly enduring at this time, and I know that nothing I say can physically change your situation at this particular moment. However, I was wondering about the long term, something that may give you some hope of better days ahead?

I was wondering if you were working? As (sorry) I cannot remember? If not, have you tried claiming PIP? If you claimed this non-taxable benefit, (it would not alter any other benefits you may have coming in), then you would have some extra income to possibly pay for a cleaner to help you out? If there are any other tasks that you struggle with that cause you particular grief and depression, you could also pay somebody to do these tasks for you?

I have pasted you the GOV.UK link below entitled how to claim PIP:

I was also wondering if you felt like you needed somebody to talk to? Just to let off steam and let it all out on occasions? If so, you could always ring the Samaritans, it is what they do! I have pasted you their number below. Please do not be offended by this, I have done this out of friendship for a fellow Fibro sufferer:

Telephone: 08457 909090

It may help if you have a sympathetic GP? As they could possibly refer you to see a counsellor so you would have a regular appointment to look forward to whereby you could tell her all of the things that are making you feel so depressed?

I want to wish you all the best of luck and please remember that you are not alone, we are always here. If you ever want to let off steam on the forum or have a good moan then please feel free. As soon as I get online I promise that I will get straight back to you.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x

1 like

hi ken thankyou so much for your reply and kind words sorry to say but im having a really bad day the pains in my thighs are makin it difficult to walk today my ibs is playing up i applied for pip in march 2014 so waiting i appiled for dla last year but was turned down but in the last 6 months i feel i have gone really down hill ive tried every med in the book plus patches in the last 10 years nothin has worked currenty taking zapain and operskindol gel im goin to hopital on monday and having a lidocaine infusion in the pain clinic been told it has a 20% success rate so im keeping my fingers crossed im a bit scarred dont like needles il keep you all posted how i get on thanks again for replying take care joanne x


Hi joed

I am so sorry to read that you are having such a bad day, and I genuinely hope that when you get up tomorrow that your pain has decreased exponentially! I also want to wish you all the best with your lidocaine infusion on Monday. I do remember reading another post recently whereby a member has quite a good response from it, so I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Take care and good luck

Ken x


Hi I am new to this post only just joined but I read ur post & though I had written it. I really sympathise with u as I am goin throu exactly the same, my partner & I split the other night because he said he can't cope with all my moods which I totally understand as I've been hard to live with but I also feel I can't cope right now with the dark cloud hanging over me every day & the pain I'm in constantly. I can't really give u any advice as I am new as I say, but what helps me is soaking in an Epsom bath with 2 cupfuls in the bath with baking soda & sea salt it really does help relieve the pain, also I've started taking coconut oil every day 2 spoonfuls, google the benefits it's amazing for lots of thigs & eating a banana a day is proved to help too I've tried to do as much research as I can as the amatryptaline I'm on don't seem to be doing anything apart from helping me sleep which I'm grateful for. I hope you feel better soon & send u a hug xxx


Sweetheart, have you been to a pain clinic? If not RUN to one ASAP!!!! Hope you feel better!!! xxx Mitzi


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