Feeling lost and fed up....

[fibrogirl41]

Hi everyone, i just wanted to post how im feeling, you dont need to reply or anything, i just had to vent, this weekend has been crappy, and a family member saying things to me that just made me feel even lower, i wont go into it, i just hope things will be okay soon, ive had enough of fibromyalgia and comments from family members, hope you are all okay, thanks for reading anyway x i know you all understand x🥴😍

[Blue-52]

sending you lots of hugs 🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗.

It’s not easy, trying to get people to understand, let alone Family. Xx

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Blue-52]

Thanks, at least the weather is nice, hugs back xx

[Yassytina FMA UK Volunteer]

Morning , really does not help when people open their mouths and don’t engage their brain 🤣I’ve a friend like that , it’s okay everybody needs too vent , not having a great day ( no 3) out of sorts , yes weather is lovely that does lift people somewhat😃xx

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Yassytina]

Thanks, hope u feel better, im okay but fed up. At least the weather is nicex

[Yassytina FMA UK Volunteer]

You are allowed too feel fed up (I do get 😏when I’m not able too do things that I love )I should be outside , il try laters. Better too speak the words you are feeling than bottle it up xx

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Yassytina]

Thanks, i appeciate that, i teared up again, i hope u get outside x

[Yassytina FMA UK Volunteer in reply to fibrogirl41]

Il join you let some tears out , changing the subject did you see BGT talent last night. The last act 🤣well I laughed so much it did me good , Simon Cowells face was a picture xx

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Yassytina]

Yes it was quite funny x thankyou for that x

[AllthatGlitters]

Hey it’s rubbish when family members go on a rant and say things, I have had this from my mother in law, about what I should be doing / not doing and it got very personal. I know how upsetting it is. Sending a hug x

[fibrogirl41 in reply to AllthatGlitters]

I did feel rather upset, and at one point cried my eyes out, but im feeling a bit better n9w but it does grate, trying to look at college courses, jobs etc but it gets overwhelming sometimes, thankyou for the hugs x

[Carlt]

I have long since stopped placing any value on the utterances of people who have no idea what they are talking about and lack the empathy to educate themselves.

Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

[Bertiemum]

❤️❤️😀🙏xx

[Ontherun81]

Hiya

No wonder you feel fed up with thoughtless opionated people making comments! Fibromyalgia sucks! I wish there was a cure so I could bounce around like I used to. I'd love to go back to work as I gave up through stress and Fibromyalgia last November. The days are long and I can't do what I used to. Just take hope that there will be good days and let little things uplift you x sending hugs 🤗and healing to you xx

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Ontherun81]

I hope now there will be more good days and hope ur okay, fibro does suck, especially the fatigue, i wish there was a cure, x

[Hope164]

Big hugs 💕

[Muriellilley]

sending gentle 🤗 x

[R-OD]

❤️

[Smilesalot]

Hi fibrogirl41🤗,I'm sorry ur family continue to put what ur experiencing down.

I've forgotten what it is like. My family were the same( except my daughter) but they both died.

I don't associate with people who don't want to support me now.

How are you feeling today honey 🤗?

If it's still awful feel our big and gentle hugs winging ur way hugs Dawn 🤗🤗🤗🙃🤗🤗🤗😍❤

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Smilesalot]

Okay, but fed up hope ur okay, hugs back x

[Dolly6789]

Hi love no matter what life throws at you plz carry on I know how you feel it can be really lonely at times as some people don't understand what we are going through everyday is a different battle only we know how we feel but we do manage to live a good life it's all about working at your own pace big hugs n lots of love sending your way this page is brilliant because they are going through similar things and they give great advice rant away when ever you need hun take care xxx

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Dolly6789]

Thankyou, i feel really low when they make comments and say things sometimes, it does make me teary, i feel okay now but sometimes it gets to me and i know im not lazy and i would like to work again part time and go to college etc, it doesnt help my self esteem with the comnents and im glad i can vent on this site and say how i feel, thanks and hugs back x

[Horse12345]

Join the club.. I always get I'm always tired as well or you look OK to me .. have a good sleep you be OK tomorrow. Why are you always slow 🐌 😒... I can't repeat What I say under my breath .. keep you chin up ... my husband is amazing so that's all that counts for me. ❤️❤️

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Horse12345]

I do try and keep my chin up, it is hard sometimes some people dont understand x hope you are okay and you have a loving hubby x

[Dash01]

literally know how you feel, feeling this very much so at the moment. It can be a very lonely place and a lot of judgement of being “lazy”!

I’ve had to give up being a health care support worker but there is other colleagues who are still doing the role who also have fibro , believe me when I say it took a lot to make the decision not to do anymore, therefore I’m getting judged that I’m just lazy, this isn't the case I’ve been a support worker since I was 16 I’m now 26, I just can’t physically and mentally do it anymore, trying to explain that to family is not easy.

The best way I found is writing it down in an easier form including MY symptoms not just what google tells you & you tube videos with explanations.

Sending hugs 🤗, hope your feeling better soon X

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Dash01]

I know its gets me down sometimes, hope you are ok x

[Arnika]

I can guess how you must be feeling, any fibro sufferer has been completely let down by insensitive, or hurtful comments from people who are supposed to love us, or care about us.

This often tends to happen when we feel worst with bad flare up, or other problems, It is amazing how people who know nothing about the condition would come up with various "solutions" and advice which we know is useless. Like, when you barely can make yourself much needed cup of tea because any movement is agony, they lecture you about benefits of running, or long walks etc. which would instantly "cure" your aches and pains etc, etc.

The patronising tone, the lack of any empathy usually comes with in equal measure with such advice, but what hurts me, personally most, something that really breaks my heart is that by such attitude you realise that however often you have before you explain the condition, and what it does to your body systems, the pain, the fatigue etc, or even take them to the doctor with you, each time you have the bad flare up. they do not seem to believe how badly you feel.

I only talk about my symptoms it rarely now, in order not see that that bland look in their eyes, those: I thought you are better, now, comments. That disbelief offends me deeply, it hurts me so much. I know that we, never, ever complain unnecessary and when we do, it must be pretty bad, I am not surprised, that this kind of things can get you down.

I just came out of very long flare up, which lasted few weeks. With large and "loving" family, I was completely left to cope on my own, hardly eating, not drinking enough, and guess what, nobody cares. Luckily I have one dear friend who made sure I was supplied with basics and took me to dr appts etc. Now, I am better they all want to come for a visit!

The paradox is that despite feeling like death at times, I look great, really great extremely young for my age, but this is an old story, PAIN is invisible!

Sorry this is so long, fibrogirl, but I can assure you, that other fibro people understand how you feel. We are always here for you when you feel like this

Arnika

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Arnika]

Thankyou, i did cry and things had to try and clean myself up a couple of times, it didnt hekp my self esteem and i do hope to work again and go to college part time, i am glad you truly understand x🤗

[Arnika in reply to fibrogirl41]

You sound like you are a strong person, with good life plan ahead despite others trying to bring you down, my feeling is that it might be good to try to concentrate on finding some reliable support, just one loyal person, someone who will be on your side when things get tough to make it easier to carry on with your plans.

Some people just enjoy seeing other people miserable , it gives them feeling of power. If it is difficult to find a good, positive support at home, there is much help and befriending support, where you can speak to someone on the phone, or arrange for some counselling. Look on internet at your local voluntary organisations, or in your library, to see what might suit you . Having good support makes are so much stronger. But most of all, believe in yourself, and keep your aim in mind, do not let other people distract you from what you want to do. even when things are difficult. Good luck, Fibrogirl.

Arnika

[fibrogirl41 in reply to Arnika]

Yes i know, everytime they said these comments it hurt, but i hope ill get there with the advice from you and everyone, thankyou x

[2048artist]

I understand. People think that it’s ok to critique what we should be doing but no one knows what this God awful pain is like to live with day in and day out. I’m sending you hugs & empathy. 💖💐

[fibrogirl41 in reply to 2048artist]

Hi, thankyou, that helps, i feel okay now but i was quite tearful x

[marguLIS]

Hi fibrogirl, so sorry that you are having such a bad time.

People can be so horrid when it is so easy and good for everyone involved to be kind and helpfull. I don't understand what they get from being cruel, but I think they are jealous of your " easy" life. Why should you have all the sympathy and not have to do anything but watch TV all day with others running around after you? This is their perception of your life. If only they spent a few days as you, I'm sure they wouldn't swap places.

Hidden illness is nearly always treated that way, they wouldn't say the same to you if you broke your leg and it was in plaster. It is ignorance on their part, and they can feel justified in not helping or supporting you with your" made up" disability.

Unfortunately, this is ingrained and they probably won't change, but you can.

I am older than you and I learned the hard way, that people treat you how you let them. I don't let anyone make me feel worse than I already do.

I have cut family and friends out of my life when I realised that I got nothing but critisism, and my feelings dismissed. Any relationship should be beneficial for all parties. What positive things do you get from these people? They are little more than playground bullies.

I know that some will disagree with me, that is their perogative. But life is too short and too precious however we have to live it, to let others make you feel bad about yourself. You have no control over how these people feel , but you don't have to listen and justify yourself to them.

You deal with your illness every day and still keep going. You are so much braver than you know.

I wish you strengh, resillience and the love and respect you deserve.