fibro amongst other disabilities

why are some people so ignorant to how how u feel and what you are going through they don’t know you as a person yet they think they can judge you but anyway who cares the problem lies with them

[Hazel_Angelstar Administrator FMA UK Staff]

Unfortunately there are a lot of judgemental people around. Best not to waste your energy on them

[Fra22-57]

I think it’s because ours are hidden disabilities.They don’t see what we are suffering.I try to fit in with people and do some things but it’s very hard.It pees me off when someone will say something like ”oo your legs better now “

[Meditationlover in reply to Fra22-57]

Yeah, I get all that, even my own son, doesn't get it, and that really hurts

[Hidden in reply to Meditationlover]

I get that from family members to they say why are u always tired why do u walk like ask me to here and there and they don’t understand I can’t do things sometimes even tho I try but anyway I try to stay positive

[Meditationlover in reply to Hidden]

Yes, your right, we have to stay positive, at least on here we can support each other

[CheetieCat]

Some people seem totally incapable of empathy, avoid whenever possible.

Think it's worse when they do 'know' you or think they do and say things like

"you're looking really well" when you're feeling like a bag of 💩!

or "you must be feeling better" because you laughed or smiled Huh? It's almost like an accusation 😳

Obviously you're meant to moan groan & wail or you're not in nearly enough pain! 😩

[Hidden in reply to CheetieCat]

so true 😆 ooos sorry fo putting smily face I should put sad one anyway thanks for the reply peoples don’t really matter do they

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I mean there opinions don’t matter

[Farmerboy in reply to CheetieCat]

people are try their best to cheer you up you do look well but feel crap but you have to accept that the impression your giving so don’t be hard on people . I tell them as it is I look well but feel crap I don’t want people sympathy I am not expecting it either just accept me as I am those who have got to know my health concerns ect have and do respect and respond accordingly. I’ve never had any judgmental remarks to my disability it could be because I accept people as they are not what I want or expect them to be. Having a Seneca of humour helps and being able to laugh at your self and disability and abilities helps no end.

[CheetieCat in reply to Farmerboy]

Hi Farmerboy, please don't think I'm being hard on people, I totally get what they're trying to do. I'm answering the post in the manner only people with chronic pain would talk and understand, I would never dream of speaking that way with anyone else.

Totally agree with you about sympathy though, I don't believe anyone is looking for that, just perhaps some empathy every now and then, particularly on a fibro forum such as this one.

Personally, just like yourself I've never had any judgemental comments and I certainly don't judge others so I'm really sorry if you've found anything I've written offensive, it's certainly not meant to be.

I do agree a sense of humour and the ability to laugh at yourself (in my opinion) is so important, it gets me through most days!

Have a lovely day!

[Midori]

Absolutely. It's their problem, not yours!

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden]

thank u everyone for your replies and support and a sense of huomor is a good thing and having my6 beautiful grandchildren and my own children is all that I need

[Makie-Uppie]

you don't' know how someone feels until you walk a mile in their shoes, is the saying I think.

A recent example was a local shop that put a ramp in. It was great for walking up but was a disaster for wheelchairs and mobility scooters. I reckon even a zimmer would have problem negotiating the bend halfway up it. Then again it was designed and built by the able bodied not creepy crawlies.

[Turquoisesummer]

I found those who were closest to me were the least understanding/empathetic and most judgemental. Thankfully now I've found some really amazing, supportive people at my gym who have helped me feel human and worthwhile again. Hope you are well, sending love💗