hi, I’m new to this site, after being diagnosed just under 8 years ago and managing the Fibro symptoms enough to be able to continue to work and provide an income to support my family (including 2 children), I recently decided that I was managing ok, increased my hours back to full time and then decided to take on a brand new professional role, a role that ive always wanted to do but the fibro held me back as it would would bring about more stress, responsibilities and longer hours!
4 weeks into the job ( working in the same company just different department) I’m in the biggest flare up of my life, crying in pain most nights after I get home and have realised that ive make such a foolish mistake and now it’s pushing me to hand in my notice completely after nearly 30 years of working . The project they have given me is high profile and critical for the company (which is adding to the stress). I have so much shame and anger and guilt the fact that I think ive been in denial and have trued to live a life of a ‘normal’ person. My doctor has recommended I take some time off but I’m so full of guilt I’m trying to work shorter days instead but it’s just not working as the role is too demanding and so im wondering if I just throw in the towel now and find another job that is far less stressful and im now willing to take a drop in salary and adjust my lifestyle as I can’t go in any longer.
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Violetharmoney
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Hi, im new to all the social meida sites but in april of this year i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I was working full time split shifts in the care sector , now ive had to do shorter shifts but even thou ive done that ive had to have time off due to severe pain and layed up in bed for 4 days can not move my leg had to use crutches to get about and stayed upstairs as i could not bend or move the leg. Then the right hand locked up same again could not drive for 4 days. Just seems what ever i do i get a severe flare up.
Not the correct type of employment for your fibromyalgia issues. That role will exacerbate your issues or render you a disabled person. You need to be on Pip at least. Takecare
Rather than resigning , or making your flare feel worse because of guilt you don't deserve there may be another solution.
I If not be honest with them about ait and show sthem some print outs of info on Fibro now.sume your employer's know you have Fibromyalgia and what it is , plus how it can effect your needs at work.
Perhaps you could go to speak to the Managers and H.R , explain what has happened and ask for a Work Assessment from Occupational Health work assessors to get extra support.
You could have more flexible hours and be given better furniture and a space to be able to have short rests in away from others during the working day.
You could explain that you did not realise how much of an impact the change in role would have on your symptoms and possibly suggest that you would like to finish the project with a junior staff member to assist you part time to get the project done in time and then ask if you could return to your previous hours and job role after this project.
They should want to get the best job done they can and they clearly valued your 30 years service and were eager to get you , the best person to do the job. I'm sure they wouldn't want to lose you altogether or make you feel you must resign when you had been such a good employer before.
If you need to rest and pace the workload more don't feel guilty . You have tried and deserved to get to try to reach your goals if there was a chance your health could cope with it . You couldn't know that the change would have such a big effect on your symptoms and you should be proud of yourself for trying to reach goals despite the illness.
It would also help if you give yourself a number of days off now to get your balance back and then plan out a temporary system of work and home life that means you can concentrate most of your energy on the project until it's done , with the family supporting you by doing the practical household stuff including what you are probably also trying to do until this project is over.
Good Luck , just take a breath and don't beat yourself up ,
I do feel for you ☹️It’s an awful predicament to be in. For your mental health please recognise that although it feels like it there are always solutions to problems we face. I’m not by any means disregarding your plight I just don’t want you to go down a dark path anymore than you must be in atm. I understand it’s not by any means easy to do I’m just concerned about you because things become overwhelming and you may feel there is no way out. Do you have an hr department or any means of support at work to who you could speak to? This may help you make a decision about what you can do. At the time you thought you were going to be able to manage but have found you can’t. Please do not feel embarrassed or ashamed as we all make decisions we then have to change and there is nothing at all wrong with what you did. It’s not your’ fault’,you didn’t didn’t set out for this to happen and there is no ‘blame’ so don’t beat yourself up and make yourself I’ll over it. Letting it out on a site like this is good because at least then it’s not bottling up instead. Everything feels 10 times worse when we do that. If possible try to stay calm, easier said than done, believe me I know! Hopefully someone on here can give you more practical advice as I am not claiming to be an expert. I only want to hopefully help you feel a bit less stressed. Please don’t try to cope with it all on your own. Let us know if how things go please 🤗and take care. You’ve not hurt anyone and sadly these days companies treat employees as two a penny so do not burden yourself thinking you will let anybody down because you won’t.
Please listen as i want to help you. I'm an ex manager. Please sit down and write the pluses and negatives of your new job. This is about you, no one else! Then look at how your boss can accommodate you in this new role. Can you break it down into little projects to build the bigger picture? Can you forecast and work to weekly, monthly or quarterly agreed deadlines? Are you more comfortable working from home and attending meetings at work? Can you discuss the projects direction or gathered material as you go along? Can you/your manager get a student to support you (the syllabus will need to be written and agreed.. can't believe I did this without extra pay) Can the company help and support you? Are you able to be supported with CBT via your gp or your employer? Can your gp refer you to the pain clinic or back to Rheumatology? Have you approached your union and discussed this? (You need to cover yourself) Is hr aware of your current health? Are you entitled to utilise the OT department at work? Who is supporting you at home? Do you have an agreed Rescue Package with your gp for when you have flare ups? At work, you need to break everything down, cross off what you've done on your lists, utilise a calendar and schedule reminders on your pc, build a personal directory, check and check again. Know which physical diary works best for you and your role (this should be a copy of everything you put in your calendar on your pc). Is it a wall planner, student diary, filifax, normal 12 month diary, etc. Keep a communication book, but for yourself as it will determine how you achieve your role when you read back at certain intervals. Write all you did, when, who you spoke to, where the meeting was and who with, etc. Staple tickets, menus, places you went, telephone numbers, names in departments and their work places, etc. Remove what you need at the end of the month or week to complete forms for reimbursement, etc. There are a plethora of things to choose from to help you, calm you down, stop you panicking, etc. You did what I do...you tried fooling your body and mind and unfortunately got kick back! You can do this because you were the best candidate. Do you want to stay full time, job share, or work partime or on certain days/hours or work flexi hours? Please, please relax. If you have a good employer theyll want to retain you !!! Utilise everything and everyone to do what's best for you! Please let us know how you get on. All the best 😍
Hi please take your lead from your body, I was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia in march 2019 by a rheumatologist after suffering for more than 20 years I was a manager in a care setting and unfortunately I pushed myself so much that I had to stop working that November only able to mobilise with elbow crutches and fibrofog that was out of control due to stress now 3 years on I’m not much better. Please listen to your body and don’t let pride get in the way of asking others to help there is loads of fantastic advice been given especially by Evonne 02 good luck xx
Almost forgot about this. Not sure where you live so just type in 'self proscribing' into your internet browser. Click on the area applicable to your city or area. Call or complete the form and youll either get direct help or referral to the applicable service. You can also look at Turn2us, etc for help too. All the best 😍
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Things have changed a bit
Lost trust in NHS, lost my job because of it all! 
Am I entitled to any help with bills etc if I lose my job through FM?
Finally diagnosed, I have Fibro...
Resigned my job today :(
