Resigned my job today :(

[kerrywilliams0711]

I feel really sad today. I left school with zero exams and then spent 10 years studying as a single parent to get my GCSE's, A levels, a Law Degree and a Social Work Masters Degree. I wasn't big headed, but I was very proud as its more than I ever dreamed I was capable of.

But today, after being on sick leave for 16 months I have submitted my resignation It feels like I just waved all my hard work goodbye and this damned illness won. I did it all for nothing.

I'm hoping to become self employed as a legal adviser, family support worker and welfare/benefits rights advocate. But it feels like a cop out. The booby prize so to speak. How is it possible that I did a law degree as a single parent to a 1 year old that never slept and I still found energy reserves at the end of the day .... and now I am so weak .... this illness take my career. I just feel devastated

Sorry for the long since ... I just really needed to sound off

[Hidden]

Hi Kerry

Firstly, congratulations on all you have acheived. You are right to feel proud of yourself.

Sadly, today you feel that you have been forced into a big step, and it feels like a backward one. And I can really empathise with your feelings. I did my degree as a mature student, with 1 teenager and 1 not-quite-teenager to look after, while also working towards a master's equivalent qualification, and running my own business! And I never felt tired like I do now! I am also self-employed now. Although it is not a path I would have chosen I have learnt to appreciate the positives.

It is very understandable that you feel as though you have lost an important part of your life

In time, I hope you will realise that being self employed can be just as challenging and rewarding as any other form of employment. It can give you flexibility and opportunities you wouldn't otherwise have. And of course it's not all roses, and there are days when it really does feel like the booby prize. But there are days when you will be glad of how its worked out. It is about what you make of it, and you sound like a woman who is able to make the best of herself, and her situation.

This illness can be very cruel. But you are still an amazing person - it can't take that away from you. You will show it in different ways. My advice is to allow yourself time to grieve the loss of a job you loved, and at the same time to be open to the next chapter in your story.

Good luck with it all.

Kaz

xx

[Jezobelle]

I really feel for you, I have a daily battle with myself about work...I know I should really give up (or at least drastically reduce my hours) but I can't quite bring myself to do it. I have cut down my hours to mornings only and have really felt the benefit, so I know it's the right thing to do (although I doubt my bank account will agree!(

If you have the opportunity to go self employed then do it! It's certainly not a cop-out, but a brave step and one you will never look back on. I am in the process of setting up my own business too but need another six months to finish my studying - I just hope I can last that long!

See this as a positive step to change your life for the better. You are lucky that you have skills and experience in an area that does allow you to do this, Cecause you have control over what you do with none of the guilt that we tie ourselves in knots with by trying to please bosses, you'll feel better too.

Please let us know how it all goes, and I wish you the best of luck

[Hidden]

:(( Im so sorry you have been put in this position today xx I haven't got fibromyalgia but I have an underactive thyroid and can empathise with you I truly can, I'm on here to learn more about fibro as my friend has it, and thryoid and fibro are linked.

Have you looked into LDN? Low Dose Naltrexone, some people are finding it works quite well for fibro. have you had any thyroid tests too?

can I just say all that you have acheived with having a child whilst doing all that training is amazing i'd be proud too

Sarah

[Hidden]

This illness takes our life's away, I am going to have to do

The same before much longer it's better to go than be made

To go, for me I will be to old to work again.

For you, well you never know lots of people go into remission

So think positive you may be able to work again after a break

You may feel able to work again and no one, and no illness

Can take away the things you have achieved you should be

So proud of yourself

[summerlite]

Hello. Im so sorry that you've been 'forced' into handing in your notice. I had to do exactly the same thing, as like you I had no choice because my body couldn't cope anymore with the demands of fulltime teaching and being a single mother of three. I simply had burned out of all energy. It was a relief in someways not to have to worry about letting others down, but it came at a time when I felt my career was just about getting to the point where I could put more into it.

I'm sure all that you've learned through the hardships you experienced in educating yourself ,will enable you to tough it out and eventually find a way of creating a new and rewarding career. You obviously have oodles of talent and drive, even if the 'drive' bit as having a well deserved rest at present!! Look at how much you've achieved, it's a real inspiration. Eventually after much rest and reflection you'll see this as a new chapter.

For me it's not been easy but I've learned so much about myself. I am now at the point where I'm about to go back into education but as a personal tutor, working from home. I want to work but know a classroom of my own again in a hectic environment , is not an option. So I have had to adjust to a new path, where I can still use my skills and enjoy the connection of working with children again.

You have much to give , and to receive! Don't see this time as failure,but more of a pause and a chance to recoup some of that energy that you've used up getting to the standard you are at now. Don't rush it. Just go with it for a while and do what you can, when you can.You haven't lost your resourcefulness or intelligence, but your body's just telling you to take some time out.

I send you lots of support and warm thoughts. Take care and be kind to yourself, S x

[Sarah-Jane]

I see the comments that have been made are similar to what I wanted to say, so I will just endorse them and add a little too.

You can be emmensly (bother) proud of your achievements, that must have been a hard road. Now you are on another but it doesn't have to be a bad one. You proved that by getting your education yourself.

Take a break, give your body a chance as maybe things can let up enough for a new chapter in your life (mixed metaphors and spelling apart). It will take time but try to shrug off negative feelings and think 'at least I didn't give up and got that degree'!

You have so much to offer, just ring the CAB and they'll be begging you to make yourself available to those who cannot pay. See what this new road offers and don't grieve for what might have been too long.

Soft hugs

[Extremelygrumpy]

I too know how you feel I had to resign from my teaching job which I loved that and looking after my 3 year old son with aspergers in the last eighteen months of my job I was hardly ever in work... Yes it felt very unfair at the time.. We had to sell our house and buy smaller, but on the positive I got to spend more time with my family.... I did go into remission for a few years so you may be able to do some work later

VG x

[Ginsing]

M orning you have achieved so much now is the time you need to grasp your confidence in both hands an try being a counsellor or legal advisor from home. Then when you can you will be able to use your skills. I know you are feeling let down an maybe slighlty agreived after so much work to get where you are but you are now facing Mr Fibro head on and you can and will make the most of your life just differently. So have courage pat yourself on the back you have been so brave. Good luck with however you decide to move on now as yourself under your . xginssteam

[Jjudith]

Oh, I do know how you feel - yes, I too was the woman who could do anything and now I have this horrid disease. I too left school with no "O" levels (prior to GCSE) and went on to eventually get two Masters degress and a PhD, all paid for by myself, all worked for by myself. I had so many exciting adventures in my life working as an aid worker in war torn countries, also I started a successful business which eventually employed 200 people whilst bringing up three children, I was 'Woman of the Year' in my local area in 2010 for my charitable and activism work in our local community, and then in 2011 'it' happened. I so much want to be more like that person that I used to be, I can't stop having times when I grieve for the life that I had, but I also know I have to get to learn to love the new 'me'. Your illness has taken away the career you hoped for, but maybe now that you know you are not fighting to get back to work you may be under less stress and maybe your fibro symptoms might ease a bit. But having this illness has also taught you so much, about disability, discrimination against disability, isolation of disability, and economic pressure linked to disability. You can use this new knowledge and understanding, and believe me, you may be weaker physically but you are stronger and better as a person. Your life may be different but I am sure just as worthwhile, but you have to adjust to your loss just now. Its hard, but we will be thinking of you and gunning for you. Let us know how you get on, we will all be wanting to know how things work out. Hugs x