I want to be normal,I hate my depression,this stupid fibro,before all this I was active at gym. Working

[Jerrymu]

I don't know where to start I'm 36 married kids are my world and I feel useless .

[Fra22-57]

Welcome to this group.Has your doctor given you any help..medication.Some are given duloxetine.I myself am on pregabaline.Everyone is different and have their own struggles.some people can’t even walk and some can run for miles.I myself I do need to stop trying to pack everything in in just the one day when I am feeling good as the next I just crash making myself ill.You have a lovely family

[Hidden]

Hi Jerrymu, I can imagine the frustration, fright, despair, anger and many more emotions when this thing hits, but you will manage it. You will get in control eventually but it will take time.

For me, first was to find as much Literature on this as possible and read with loved ones so they know what is going on. Get a diary and record the different symptoms, note how long they last, watch out for triggers, within four to five years, you'll see a pattern emerging.

Did I say you need a lot of patience?

Manage your energy, stop everything you suspect aggravates your situation, watch what foods are unfriendly, my experience is that when the gut is unhappy so many things go wrong elsewhere, most of all be patient with your body, very patient.

This site is fantastic- people share whatever they have and many have know vast knowledge and experience. There is also understanding.

Have a good day.

[Yassytina FMA UK Volunteer]

Hello and welcome, yes it’s frustrating how fibro can change our lives so quickly, medication can be helpful when we get something that suits us, I finally started on duloxtene over 4 years ago as I found my anxiety/depression controlled me ,it’s made a huge difference and I take each day as it arrives , try and pace myself as much as I can , it seems if we push too hard it results in a flare where your body just comes to a halt and rest is the only way forward, very hard though if your holding done a job, children are wonderful but also tiring so don’t feel quilty if you drop back and grandparents , family members take over to give you a break, it’s just getting a balance. I find if youve a good support behind you it helps so much, even a best friend to lean on for a chat. The forum is good to read some posts here and chat, it showed me how many thousands out there with fibro and their experiences.

[Sally444]

Hi Jerrymu. From reading your profile it seems that you have had an immense amount of stress and heartache so it isn't surprising that your body is now suffering as a result. My kids also keep me going each day, although they have grown up now, they are my rocks. It is so frustrating when you can't do all the things you used to do but I find it helps to look at all the positives in my life right now rather than comparing myself to others or 'the old me'. I have come to accept (very reluctantly) that my anti depressants are my life line and this is now my 'normal' and therefore I try to find happiness and comfort in all things such as time with family and friends, a cosy blanket, nice food (I am gluten and dairy intolerant but can still find nice food), a good book, beautiful scenery, flowers, bees etc. etc. I try to look at what's good rather than what's bad, which I know is hard, but with a bit of practice and perhaps writing a list of good things, it can be done. Maybe try writing down all the good things in your life.....the list might be longer than you think and then you can refer to it when you're feeling down. 😊 And by the way, even if you can't help out much physically.....just being around to listen and help your family emotionally makes you incredibly useful! Its soooo important. Best wishes.

[thespianglobe]

I developed Fibro in my 50's and am now retired thank goodness so fatigue is not such a problem, if I'm tired I go for a nap but can't imagine how I would have coped when the kids were young. One thing I found helps above all other is to try and pace yourself. Easier said than done but a couple of jobs and a rest and then a couple more works much better for me than a "I feel better today so let's go for it" day. That feel great on day one but I feel dreadful on day two. It's all trial and error but not overdoing it and trying to be Superman is a very good start. Also try not to belt your significant other if you have one when they peer at you and says that you look fine, I have told my husband through gritted teeth that appearances can be very deceptive.

[Matrix]

Hi ,I’m struck by the desperation in your voice ,all I can say is this until you accept you have this horrible illness ,condition and grieve for the things you can no longer do ,you will always stay in this state of unhappiness .I know because I lived through this from the age of 11 years old and it wasn’t until I was 29 years old I started to realise this would never go so I had better get on and live with it .I had a hobby so I got more into this and do you know what it’s great distraction yes I’m on lots of meds that only take the edge off but I manage .I have had three children and now I’m a nana we look after two grandchildren and that’s exciting,exhausting,painful but I take it for two days I feel alive ,the rest of the week I’m exhausted ,in pain and all the rest of it .Don’t despair you will get to a place of acceptance but you do have to grieve the things your body can no longer do ,accept and move on .

You have a beautiful family and I’m so sorry you have this horrible disease Jerrymu

But I’m living proof you can still have a good life .For myself I don’t talk about it unless it’s a really bad day and my hub notices anyway .Please make sure you get pain relief and something for sleeping take any help you can get .I wish you more than anything Hope for a good life .💕🥰

[Acocoa]

You have a beautiful family. My advice is to enjoy every little moment with your family. A little or slow process is still progress in life. I have learned once you accept your condition and life situation and have a supportive partner and kids, your life will feel completely fine. Take care x

[Flamingbernie]

Hi Jerrymu. I hear you, and feel your pain. I like you used be really active, boxing and coaching, running, and mountain climbing, now i struggle doing the school run. I’ve been seeing a specialist personal trainer recommended by my GP. She’s helped me find workouts i can do that don’t wreck me a for the week or two. It takes time to adjust to the changes. I’ve been affected for three years now, and am only now really seeing a brighter future for myself and family. Take care, and be kind to yourself.

[Bes79]

Currently sat waiting for a call back from Gp re anxiety and depression. The 200 call backs to obtain this appointment this morning didn't help. I was literally just saying yesterday, how I am so different to the person I used to be, outgoing, funny (according to others) active, I couldn't stand being indoors. Like you I used to work out and I used to enjoy it. Now I don't go anywhere unless I have to. Even to the shops, if I can order it I will. I still work but it takes everything out of me and I spend my shift just thinking of going home. I used to be a social butterfly but now I barely see anyone and I do not like people coming into my personal space, home has become a bubble. My protection from the outside world. I resent that even though I am in pain and have been in pain and struggling mentally and emotionally for years, that because I am newly diagnosed, no pip assessor would take me seriously enough to reduce my working hours. So I am forced to work full time, though I am finding it more and more difficult. Mentally I am finding it harder and harder to cope and have been having some dark thoughts of my own. Not hurting myself or anything like that, more like I wish I was never born, that type of thing.

[Miloandharley]

Take each day as it comes. You'll have good and bad days. Its very hard i know but think of the good things in your life, and life in general. Do not give up, keep fighting. Just do what you can, then rest. Eat well, and if possible massages are relaxing & help pain (well they help me). Good pain medication is a must. And remember you are not alone in this.