Always in the middle - The life of a forum admin…..

[desquinn]

We have a small team of volunteer admins and moderators that help keep this forum working. We perform reactive moderation which means we rely on users to let us know when things do not look right. We of course act when we see things ourselves and are fortunate that spam posts are not something, we are bothered about too much.

However, we sometimes find ourselves in the middle of things, being a friend to no one. I say this because once a post is reported to us we have to check out whether it has any foundation and this is why we need as much info as possible when people report something. Please let us know which rule it breaks and why.

Once we have an idea of why someone thinks there is a break of the rules we need to make a decision on what to do next. If there is a doubt then there will often be a chat amongst the admin team. We can disagree and even after some decision has been made, we will review things. Swearing and pictures of children are two things we are having discussions about of late.

If we decide there is nothing to do as the report does not contravene our rules then the reporter may not be happy and when it is contentious the admin doing the communication is the one that will receive the anger of the reporter.

If we decide there is something to do because the rules have been broken then we will inform the accused of the rule break and if they are a 1st time rule breaker or newbie then we will be lenient and this is our default position in most situations. Keep to the rules and let’s support each other.

However, telling someone they have broken the rules, and someone has reported them for it can often mean we are in an argument before we know it. We will try and remain polite, and we will try and resolve conflict, but we all make mistakes in the details or sometimes from how we are feeling. We all have bad days, but we are here to ensure this forum can support people. We also try and allow as much latitude in speech as we can, but somethings are not allowed.

Add to this, we have a troll from time to time and the admin team are kept busy. So, with all this in mind I want to come back to my opening statement. We are always in the middle…. and that’s ok as that is what the role requires. We also need to keep confidentiality so when the accused asks “what about they said or did” that we tell them that anyone that needs to be spoken to will be. This often annoys the accused because they feel they are being singled out.

But we do not need to be abused, called a racist, judgemental, sworn at or called a cretin. Also, we try to be considerate and lenient but we are not sexist, a bully, stupid, insensitive or hypocrites. Yet these are all accusations that have been made to the admin team recently. Thankfully it is a small number of people making these comments and normally retaliating for being told off for something and just losing their temper.

It is not the norm as we get lots of positive comments when we point out a correction or help someone. I do not care about accusations and insults as I am happy with putting my limited energy to positive results. So, this is not a complaint and not asking for sympathy, but I think it is worth sharing some of the noise from the trenches. I also want people to know what some of the admin team face. So, if they contact you about something that has been reported then please try and remember they are just doing the best they can.

Regards

Des Quinn.

[Dizzytwo]

Thank you Des, for sharing a little of what go's on in the life of the admin team. I agree it does feel like we are in the trenches at times. Thankfully not has often has we could be.

But you do need to aquire an extra layer of skin at times that's for sure.

I don't do this job for the money because I don't get any lol I do it because I enjoy the forum interaction. And if I can help lighten the load behind the scenes which at times I know can get pretty heavy I'm happy to help.

I never realised just how hard it can be to be part of the admin team and how much work go's on behind the scenes. And has you mentioned at times all the flack we get.

But I'm sure all the Admin team agree the nice members out weigh the not so nice members by the thousands.

I know you have had a trying day yourself so thank you for taking time out to do this post. This is a great support forum and very friendly long may it continue.

[desquinn Partner Volunteer FMAUK Trustee in reply to Dizzytwo]

thank you for the reply and the support of being part of the team and the friendly support you give to people on here. We are a varied team and all bring something.

[bobbybobb]

Wow, you all do an awful lot to keep us all safe. So a big thank you to you all.

[Greenpeace]

Thanks for posting this Des.

Personally, I think you and all the Admin team do a fantastic job of keeping this forum a supportive and safe place for people with Fibromyalgia to come and get fact based information, advice, and support.

The fact is, that the Guidelines apply to everyone. No one is singled out .

Perhaps it could be mentioned when a new member is welcomed to the forum, that they should read the Guidelines?

The fact that you are all volunteers, and have Fibromyalgia and various other conditions yourselves, should also be kept in mind by our members.

Thanks for doing a great job.

GP. 😊😊

[desquinn Partner Volunteer FMAUK Trustee in reply to Greenpeace]

thanks for the suggestion. Every new member to the community gets a personal message with a link to the rules. I have asked the site admin team if it would be possible for admin team to have signatures to make it more visible on every post that the rules are there but that may take time if at all.

However, I think all the issues referenced on the post were from people that had been warned or were on the site for quite a while. We do not want to restrict people but we will if they give us no choice and abuse of the admin team has less leniency.

[Hidden]

Hi

I would just like to thank you all for the wonderful job you do and for keeping us all safe. Please take care of yourself Lynne

[Sailingtrio]

Thank you for all the good work you do. I am so sorry to hear it can be tough at times. 🦋

[Hidden]

Thank you for everything you do to keep our invaluable ship afloat. I can imagine it being tough at times. Much appreciation from me hugs xxxx

[honeybug]

Bless you and the team for all you endure and thank you for all you do to give us this forum.

Much love hugs and prayers.

EJ 😊🌿🌸🦋🙏🤗💗😘😇🕊

[oldwomaninpain]

thanks for everything you guys do, I would be lost without this forum and am so grateful to have found it.

Ann xx

[Hidden]

Thank you for everything you do for us.

I rely on this site to get me through the day sometimes, so you do a great job just being there.

Sue x

[Kitten-whiskers]

Such a shame to read this, people do take things so easily to heart these days - they see it as a personal attack when it is nothing of the sort. I personally think you all do an amazing job, on a couple of occasions more recently I have been sent a couple of PM messages and you have kindly dealt with it before I could even read the messages.

For those people sending these messages its worth remembering that we are all suffering and all doing our very best to cope and help others, no one is judging anyone, we all need to stick to the guidelines

Keep up the fantastic work

[desquinn Partner Volunteer FMAUK Trustee in reply to Kitten-whiskers]

we try to keep away from being personal and taking it personally. We can also get the temperature of a response wrong from time to time. When we make a mistake it is taken as intentional more often than not because we are the instigator as they see it.

This post was borne out of a bit of frustration but was anonymous and encompassed a number of recent incidents so referred to a number of people. However, one person has taken it as an attack on them to continue the argument after they were unfortunately restricted.

Each time we receive a report we will check the thread it is in the previous posts from the poster and often the reporter and if there have been any previous reports. When it is someones opinion on something we will tend to let things be and let conversation continue. But so often people get themselves into trouble when they cannot stand our inaction or action and then complain about the decision or try to "fix" it themselves. This makes it worse which is why we always ask people to report, ignore and move on to the next conversation.

But every report is welcome and will take anywhere from 15 minutes to a couple of days to deal with. When there are multiple people shouting at you as well it is less fun but again not looking for sympathy and really appreciate the positive comments from people.

I know the team appreciate the fact that the forum support their volunteering. Sorry did not mean to go on

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to desquinn]

It must be so disheartening for you, its best to let out the frustration and not let them fester, we are all human and every single person has made mistakes, it's such a shame it has to come to this : <

[desquinn Partner Volunteer FMAUK Trustee in reply to Kitten-whiskers]

not really but of course there are moments when you wonder do I have better things to give my time to but they pass very quickly. More annoyed when it is another member of the team.

But as I said above this is a collection of reflections on events and I have written posts like this previously which I suppose is cathartic but it also allows others to try and see the thought and approach we take to these things. My aim to to help someone from potentially snapping at a member of the team and making minor issue worse.

Certainly the response here has been very positive but if anyone has any concerns then please contact one of the team.

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to desquinn]

Completely understandable how you are feeling. It does seem like it everywhere these days, you can make an innocent observation aimed at just trying to be helpful and you just get a torrent of abuse, maybe we are all feeling overworked, stressed out, ill and our self esteem takes a beating, then we become very fragile, but that said we all have to live in the same world.

Most of us think you are all worth your weight in gold and do an amazing job 😀

[bobbybobb in reply to desquinn]

I think some people can't take constructive criticism, they just see it as criticism. That turns into anger and they become unreasonable shouting at everyone.Some people just don't have the tools to compromise or hold their hands up and say, ok, I'm wrong. No matter how reasonable you are with some people, they will just never get it. You do a very positive job, don't let anyone affect that positivity. x

[desquinn Partner Volunteer FMAUK Trustee in reply to bobbybobb]

ty

[Midori]

Thank you, Des, for keeping us up to date and reminding us of the rules.I completely agree with you, having been and Admin and a Moderator on several Forums over the years. It truly can be a thankless job.

I do get a bit antsy when there are religious comments from time to time, although I realise it is just some folk's way of speech, it doesn't allow for those who are not religious or of some other faith group. It doesn't happen often, and I scroll through, but it is another thing worth reminding folk about.

Cheers, Midori

[desquinn Partner Volunteer FMAUK Trustee in reply to Midori]

yeah we have conversations about religion and have had a couple recently as we are nearing that important date towards the end of the month. Again the HU rule prohibits religion and politics but we also try and be reasonable about it.

The admin team are often enforcing rules that are stricter than their own beliefs as well but it is a shared rulebook that is set through compromise and a bit of primary school rules from previously bad pupils like our tougher approach on swearing.

[bookish]

I am stunned and disappointed to read that you are all having to fend off such mean spirited and ridiculous attitudes and responses when you are simply trying to walk a fine line between allowing free speech and minimising conflict or bullying. The information and support on here is second to none and I, too, really appreciate all your efforts. My thanks and best wishes to you.

[desquinn Partner Volunteer FMAUK Trustee in reply to bookish]

not always but the last week and especially the last couple of days have been busy. And yes it s a fine line that we get accused of breaching both ways at times. Thanks for the kind comments.

[Midori]

Don't mind Christmas wishes, as it is traditional in Britain, but not so keen on the 'I'll pray for you' and the use of the G word.

Just me, I guess. I have my faith and I don't inflict it on people.

Cheers, Midori

[Rose54]

Thank you to all the admin and volunteers on this site

You all do a amazing job despite all having your own health problems to deal with .

xxx