another true court story

[stargazer61]

prosecution: now doctor, are you entirely certain that the man was dead before you carried out the autopsy?

witness: i am

prosection: no doubt whatsoever?

witness: none

prosecution: did you check for a pulse?

witness:no

prosecution: did you listen for a heartbeat?

witness: no

prosecution: did you ascertain if he was breathing?

witness: no

prosecution: so let me get this right. You did NOT check for a pulse, you did NOT check for a heartbeat, and you did NOT check for breathing?

witness: that is correct

prosecution: so how can you say, doctor, with ANY certainty that the man was not alive??

witness: because his brain had been removed

prosecution: so he coud not have been alive?

witnesss: well, he might have been alive and practicing law somewhere not too far from here...

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- now i know it sounds like a joke, some of these court stories do, it was in a book by a solicitor, oh i hope it is true and wish i'd been there!

i hope RAY B reads this, i promised a court tale a while back.

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I think I read extracts like this in a Watsapp posts it make the mind boogle

[stargazer61]

i went to the court once many many moons ago because the guy going up was a local legend, actually a great talent wasted on all types of pranks. so whilst on the stand he was queried by the judge and replied 'well, i was as drunk as a judge at the time' and the judge said 'surely you mean a lord?' and he said 'yes m'lord' and the place cracked up, we all got sent out but our local legend was oblivious to the contempt of court and happy he'd made us laugh.

[Hidden in reply to stargazer61]

Great 😂 keep writing those stories, they have made me chuckle

[Hidden in reply to stargazer61]

Thank you