Brian : Evening all I was wondering why... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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Brian

Brian1962 profile image
14 Replies

Evening all I was wondering why is it that when you say that your in so much pain people reply yes so am I they've no idea what we're going through. At the moment feeling really down bloody tablets don't touch the pain, can't sleep feeling useless not being able to do the things I used to do. Like play football with my son

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Brian1962 profile image
Brian1962
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14 Replies
Hollyberry123 profile image
Hollyberry123

Hi Brian

Feeling useless is the thing that really gets me down too please take care

mattoid-mags profile image
mattoid-mags

Hi Brian1962,

yes I know the feeling.

We have a children's play park a 4/5 minute walk away from my house.

I can't even go with my 3 young grandchildren to watch them play and have fun.

There are no seats in the play park and because of the pain I have from just walking even that short distance is quite severe; I need to sit down.

Feeling useless really brings me down too.

Take care,

Mags 🌞

honeybug profile image
honeybug in reply tomattoid-mags

So sorry sweet mags💕💕

🌸🦋🌸🦋🌸🦋🌸🦋🌸

😊🌸🤗💕😘

in reply tomattoid-mags

mattoid-mags I'm so sorry to hear this, my mum has pulmonary fibrosis and finds walking any distance really difficult due to the breathlessness, she has a walker with a seat! She uses it to carry shopping as well, but when she is out of breath she just sits on it for a while - even in the middle of Morrisons, she finds it a real help. My sisters live in Australia, having this type of walker means she can even walk to school with the grandchildren over there, on the way home she sits under a tree and reads her book until she feels like moving on. I don't know where she got it, she lives in Selby. It might be worth having a look around for one, feel better soon. xx

mattoid-mags profile image
mattoid-mags in reply to

Thank you Jools61,

It's good to know there is something like that out there. I'll have a look around to see if I can find something similar. XXX🌺🌸🌺

honeybug profile image
honeybug

Brian1962 Hi 👋

⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️.

I am so sorry about your experience with trying to express your reality. I think it depends on the person you are with. I befriended a neighbor who has self inflicted COPD. I discovered she in reality is the polar opposite of what she pretends to be. She never failed to let me know how she was (discovered years later a lot were lies to use me) but when I tried to tell her how I was she cut me off me telling how much worse she was. I realized she is very shallow and self serving. I will never treat her like she did me but I’ve kept my distance for years and much happier for it. I’m sorry 😐 how badly you feel and wish you all the best sending gentle hugs love and xxx

⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️

😊🌸 🤗💕😘

fenbadger profile image
fenbadger

I agree. I love time with my granddaughter but have to plan it in such a way I know I can finish the event.

I cant keep up with a 6 year old if she decides to move, but she seems fairly understanding and lets me at my own pace. The really energeticc stuff is up to the other granddad

Jan101 profile image
Jan101

Hi Brian

I know exactly what you mean. I have been in a lot of pain again lately and when people say to me I know how you feel. I think 🤔 o no you don’t. They might get the odd day they have pain where I have the pain everyday. I hope that you feel more up beat soon Hun . Love and hugs 🤗🤗🌹🌹xxx

deejames profile image
deejames

I think it's athe natural human response to show understanding by sharing pain experience. No one can gauge the level of pain felt by another nor be able to compare it to their own.

No matter the degree pain is felt, to the sufferer it is a bad experience..

The depression, sense of loss and fustration that goes hand in hand with chronic pain can make that experience harder. It's one of the most difficult aspects of any illness to deal with.

But pain is pain no matter who the sufferer or what the cause.

Dee

I think it's people's clumsy attempt at showing empathy. In effect, it achieves nothing except leaving us feeling worse.

It seems whatever bad situation you're in someone can always make it worse. Friend very recently widowed had " I know how you feel, my cat died last year"

I try not to get into conversations about fibro or how I am and am only honest with a couple of close friends who get it.

Oh, Brian how I feel your frustration, in my house it's like a competition to see who has the most pain, most days I just give up and take to my bed or the sofa, but that doesn't help me really. No advice or anything, just keep on keeping on. gentle hugs.

Midori profile image
Midori

Ubderstand your frustration , Brian, but the same applies both ways. None of us knows what another is feeling, Pain is a very subjective thing; some of us cope with it better than others. Hope you will soon be in less pain.

Ballroomdiva profile image
Ballroomdiva

I really sympathise, but I think it’s a sweeping generalisation to say nobody has any idea how you’re feeling, or indeed they can’t be feeling the same. The person you’re speaking to may be feeling just as bad as you. They may have an illness you know nothing about because they may not generally say anything. I for instance have fybro and Hypothyroidism and have a lot of pain but to look at me nobody would know. I try to put on a different face when I’m out and about. Hope you feel better soon.

Shazzzy profile image
Shazzzy

This is such frustrating disease. I find I have to find different ways to maintain relationships, like swimming instead of football. Hiring a scooter to spend day at Blackpool pleasure beach with kids. Hope your pain levels improve soon

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