i noticed some comments on how to share your assets ($$) with your children upon your death. I have 3 adult children and one grandchild. no chance of any further grand kids. i want to leave equal portions to all 4 of them. my eldest daughter doesn't think this is fair... my grandchild is almost 18 and a fatherless lad..his mother has been ill a lot and income is low. i will have his portion under a trust where he can only pull so much a month...for school or just living! am i not being fair??

12 Replies

  • Hi Mooskie

    You don't have to justify to anyone who you leave your assets/ estate to.

    Why does your eldest daughter object? Is it maybe her share will be lower?

    Would she have complained if the sole grandchild was her offspring!?

    Inheritance can cause a lot of bitterness and bad feeing in families , I know from personal experience and it always brings out the worst in people unfortunately.

    Have you heard the expression where there's a will there's a relation?

    Do what you wish they are your assets and you dispose of them as you see fit.Dont be bulllied or railroaded into making a different decision.

    Take care,



  • you said exactly how I feel. thank you.

  • You're welcome.

    Just hope your family members can come to accept your decisions.

    Take care



  • Hi Mooskie

    I sincerely hope that you are feeling as well as you possibly can be today? I agree completely with Crusee as it is your money and assets to leave to whoever you want and how you want. I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck and please take care of yourself my friend.

    All my hopes and dreams for you


  • I have done exactly the same three daughter 25% each and grandchildren 25% between then in trust til they are 21 two of my daughters are not happy with this but I tell them I can do whatever I want I have also put a written letter with my will just stating why I want the grandchildren to have a share just in case anyone wants to contest it and it has to go to court do what you think is best

  • You're being totally fair and it's your choice what you do. ( for what it's worth I think the income for a youngster for education etc is a superb idea)

    Believe me, I've seen real nastiness over wills--- always defeated me how someone can grouse about money GIVEN to them!

    Put your wishes in a will, worth spending a bit on a solicitor or will company to make sure it's legally binding. Then ignore any comments from anyone, and put it out if your mind.

    I've avoided telling my daughter anything, what she doesn't know can't hurt her ;)

  • Your money - your choice. Perhaps it would be wiser not to discuss what you intend doing? As someone who suffered by a parent not having a will (stupid, stupid, stupid!!) at least you have a will. (I hope that you already have one as who knows what tomorrow brings?) If you are in the UK, divorce or marriage invalidates a previous will. Maybe a letter to all involved to be given after your demise explaining your decision would help as, after all, they will not be able to ask you. (I am not a lawyer and am not giving advice, these are my opinions.) Good luck.

  • thanks for your our input.

  • It's Your Will , Not your daughter's. Why even discuss it with her? Especially if she is to be a beneficiary. it sounds to me as if she is being somewhat greedy trying to stop you leaving money to your grandson.

    Sorry if I seem abrupt, but I have a similar problem with my will, and I'm racking my brains over it too. My daughter is married with a child, my son has put his life on hold to take care of me full time. I feel I owe much more to my son than my daughter, although I would like to provide a sum to my grandson. It's all a pain in the rear!

  • your situation is a predicament indeed! If your daughter were not married, would she have taken care of you? If your son did not take care of you (i assume h also lives with you rent free) would he be able to take care of himself financially? I would also look at their current financial situations. if you want to leave something to your grandchild i think it is perfectly alright. does our thinking of "keep it equal" ever stop? i remember counting the toys to be sure they all got the same number!! 🤔

  • My daughter and I get fractious at each other on a regular basis, we both like to be in charge! She would drive me nuts!

    I'd like to contribute something for my grandson's education as things are uneasy in Education these days, so I'll probably put something in a Trust for him.

    I might put something aside for my daughter when My current house is sold, depending on how much I get for it and how much is spare.

    My son will get the house that I end up in, and the residue of any money I may have.

    I am hoping to get him trained in a trade before I drop off the twig, and that will help him get established, as he is severely dyslexic.

  • that all makes sense to me!

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