The Perfect Break-Up Letter

A couple who had been married for over 7 years had been going through rough times and the husband who felt he had been hard done by decided to leave his wife, but with a vitriolic letter to let her know just how he felt so he wrote the following.

Dear wife.

I am writing you this letter to tell you that I am leaving you forever.I have been a good man to you for over 7 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.Your boss called me to tell me that you had quit your job today and that fro me was the last straw. Last week you came home and did not even notice that I had a new haircut ,had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all your soaps You don't tell me you love me anymore,you don't want sex or anything that connects us a husband and wife.Either your cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case I'm gone PS Don't try to find me .Your sister and I are moving away together.Have a great life !!.

On arriving home reading the letter and after a stiff drink to calm her seething anger she sat down and with a wry smile and composed this reply.

Dear Ex Husband.

Nothing could have made my day more than receiving your letter.It's true that you and I have been married for over 7 years,although a good man is a far cry from what you have been I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping.I did notice when you got a haircut last week but the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you cannot say something nice, I did not comment. And when you cooked me my favourite meal,you must have got me confused with my sister,because I stopped eating pork years ago.And about those new silk boxers I turned away from you because the £29:99 price tag was still on them and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed £30:00 from me that morning. After all of this I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for £10 million I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica.But when I got home you were gone...Everything happens for a reason,I guess. I hope you have a full filling life you always wanted.My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you will not get a penny from me .So take care. Your Ex wife rich as hell and free ! PS I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister Carla was born Carl I hope that is not a problem.

Don't you just love our ladies who can make the best out of a bad situation with just a few lines on paper !! I love em !! Have a great day all both men and ladies

13 Replies

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  • He who laughs last etc........ 😂🐸

  • Just brilliant.....!!!!!!!!!!

    Crusee

    XX

  • Excellent ☺☺☺

  • I love a happy ending!!! Peck 🐤

  • hmph

  • I don't get it?? Help me out

  • On a similar note:

    2 mathematicians split up. His letter:

    dear wife, we have been married some time and at the age of 54 it seems things are at an end, so I'm moving in with my 18 year old girlfriend

    Hers

    Dear husband. I'm inclined to agree. Life with you has been less than satisfactory, so I'm moving in with my 18 year old boyfriend. As a mathematician you'll appreciate that

    18 goes into 54 more than 54 goes into 18.

    Hell hath no fury . . .

  • He he he..... Had to hold my ribs then lol. You don't know the half of it sir 😂🐸

  • You said a mouthful there. I'm sure my OH would agree!!! Peck🐤

  • I would have liked to see the ex husband's faceafter reading her reply.

  • he! he! he! Good laugh thank you for sharing :) :)

  • Brilliant twist at the end :)

  • Ha ha have seen this before, but makes me laugh each time I read it. Classic.x

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