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So I had my friends phone in my hand after she'd picked me up after a bad day and a text appeared, I clicked open as I usual do with my friends phone and up popped a text from my ex boyfriend who broke up with me last year as I was too much to handle saying 'she's a nightmare thank god she isn't my problem anymore' I quickly hid the text from my friend as I would so embarrassed at what I had read and wanted to go home and be out of the situation. I've also had 'you cause so much fuss over nothing' from my mother today and my friend saying she doesn't understand what's wrong with me. I need some serious help but cannot cope on my own. Does anyone have any advise for me? I just want to go away and stop being a burden on the people I love...

7 Replies

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  • Hi Laura,

    I'm sorry to hear other people saying these things about you. What's your opinion of their statements?

    When you say you need some serious help are you thinking of counseling? That's what comes to mind for me. If you can't cope on your own as you've said, let a good counselor guide you.

    I'm sure this is a painful subject and I know I wouldn't want to face it myself, but you're asking the right questions and seeking help and that's the best you can do. The next step is to get the best help possible and follow that guidance. No doubt it will be hard work at times but it will also be worth it. Imagine how it will feel when you don't have to fear people are "putting up" with you but are genuinely happy to have you around!

    I wish you the best on this journey.

  • Hello Laura

    I'm so sorry you've had this upsetting experience.

    There are various things I can suggest, but I'm not too sure what you would like help with?

    If you have a look at our website there is a lot of information you may find useful fmauk.org

    If you are thinking about counselling have you tried CBT? You can ask your GP to refer you for a course of CBT which is basically talking therapy.

    Do you have pain medication? Is it working OK for you? If not, you could ask your GP to review your medication for you.

    If it is that you want to get through to your friends and family what Fibromyalgia is and how it affects you that's a little bit harder. Because our illness is invisible it is incredibly hard to get "normal" people to understand what living with this illness is like every single day.

    Would you be able to sit down with your mum, with a cup of tea, and explain to her how your Fibro makes you feel?

    You could do some research and print it off for your family to read. Or have a look under the Topics on the right of your screen and see if there is anything there you could use.

    Please don't think you are a burden. You are not. You are a person who has a lot to deal with every day.

    There is someone around all the time on the forum so if you ever want to come and have a chat, please do.

    Try not to be too disheartened my friend. If you want to chat, you are very welcome to message me.

    Wishing you much peace and a good nights rest

    Lu xx

    Volunteer Administrator

  • Laura407

    I am so genuinely sorry to read this and I sincerely hope that you are not too upset with today's happenings? It sounds to me that you are not the problem but the lack of understanding from the people that you love is the problem? Love has to be a two way street and you deserve some respect and care from people who love you.

    The link that Bluemermaid gave you has some ''patient booklets'' on the site that you can download, and show to your family and friends. They explain about Fibro and may be useful to you? I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck. Please take care of yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

  • Hi Laura, this illness not only causes physical pain but emotional pain too, we start too learn who is our friends and who we can trust, and the ones that just don't understand or can't be bothered. But for you it's real at the moment and very upsetting, take a look at the link bluemermaid has posted for you, it may help to answer some of your questions and also help others understand your illness too.

    Take care , and don't be too hard on yourself.xx

  • Hi laura..I've have received similar responses from work colleagues friends and family.. Although not recently..but What I have learn over the pass few months..since accepting it.. I can't change people attitude and I ain't going to try..this is my life.. However painful and sore it is..and it ain't my fault.. I don't asked for permission from people for my illness.. I can't make people more comfortable about it.. Don't allow them in your head space.. I know what and how I feel. Have you looked for a local support group.. It might help to meet up and talk to others in a similar situation. One things for sure with this illness you find out who your true friends are..x sending hugs..x

  • Laura, don't let this get to you; it is Not Your Fault! If other people can't handle your Fibro, it is their problem, not yours!

    You have nothing to apologise for, you have done nothing wrong. It is unfortunate that you saw the text from your ex, but there is nothing to do about it. Everyone has their own opinions, it is how life is, but you need not take their opinions on to your shoulders.

    People will talk about their friends among themselves; it's natural. Don't let their opinions colour your world. You are You, unique. There isn't another person exactly like you, and the world would be a poorer place without you in it. Stand tall, walk proud and please don't read other folks phone messages!

    Big hugs, Midori

  • Maybe cbt pain management?

    Unfortunately people are mean and rude and uncompassionate!

    My family are the same though my health is poor they see what they want to see.

    Try to be Independant by seeing what service are available in your area:

    I'm sorry theE people have no sympathy. 😠

    Join support groups online and in your area.

    Invisible illnesses Are hard take care of urself

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