its been so cold and damp here ..my body told me me if i do anything it doesnt like then its going to punish me ...and it has ....and all i did was take my dogs out for a walk !
im lucky that my partner is really understanding that some days i cant focus and am so tired as well ..
my ex husband used to make me feel as if i was attention seeking and some of my family think the same ...they just dont get that somedays im so achey and tired that i dont want to talk to anyone ....
mind you if one more person tells me its stress and i need to get out more then there might just be a murder ..that is if i can find my get up and go along with my brain !!!
so not looking forward to winter and wearing jumpers and coats again ...
and bang goes my sleeping pattern again ....i dont sleep very well anyway ..and all the usual drugs they give you dont work on me ... ....
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sallyanna1
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I decided that I needed to be able to let my husband, family and friends know that I was having a flare, in pain, fatigued etc . Wanted them to know so if I was cranky, short answers, rude, don't take it personal , it is the Fibro. I came up with a CODE WORD, mine is RED. So when I find myself being sarcastic , rude etc. I stop, apologize and say "I am RED". That is all that needs to be said. My grandkids will even ask me sometimes, grandma, are you RED? They can tell by looking at me, by my responses to their questions. They will even tell each other, grandma's RED, quiten down, don't ask her to do something you can do yourself. Makes it easier on me! First I did sit them down and explained to them what Fibro does to me and they have seen me cry many times from the pain, fatigue and general not feeling well . So, perhaps you and your family can come up with a code word that will work for you . Don't have to explain every time what is going on, just have to say ( give them a warning) i am, or whatever your code word is and don't have defend or discuss .
generally my partner knows when im having a flare up ....as i go very quiet and get a bit unsociable with people ....
he just says .." bad day ? " ...and then lets me deal with it in my own way ....
it was him that suggested i try the wheatfree bakery i use now ...
he used to make a joke of me being clumsy until i explained to him how the fybro affects me ...makes my brain and body work on different time scales .and my brain shrinks to the size of a pea ....let alone the sheer agony of your joints feeling someones got a tazer on them ....
he understands better than my family ....
plus i tend to swear a lot when im having a flare up too
All we can do is take one day at a time, and for those who judge and criticise us... just ignore them; "They know not what they do!" Sending soft fluffy hugs your way. xx
There are times a good old yell would seem appropriate in the face of Fibro's frustrations. I felt my blood boil at your phrase "attention seeking" as I too have faced that in the past from various quarters. ....murder definitely came to mind at those times through gritted teeth as my body screamed at me and I tried to cope! But i found that expressing my frustration from coping endlessly through pain and exhaustion only led to more judgements from same quarters, on top of the 'attention seeking' judgements ie she's got mental health problems! Feel free to select your own expletives of choice at this point!
ive been judged ..found wanting and told to stop using fybro as an excuse ...
or get my mental health sorted ....
told them all with great relish that if all they got in their life is having a go at me then it says more about them and to get a grip on their own life ..
havent spoken to one of my brothers for 3 years now over this ..and i cant say i really care either ....its like taking out the rubbish ..after all we dont let friends do to us what family thinks its ok to do ......
A lady after my own heart.....your comments made me laugh and sigh.....best recent disapproving judgement was that I was 'letting Fibro define my Life'!! Of course it bloody does......It robs me of the energy to function normally, leaves me struggling in pain, makes me feel sick, chilled, dizzy to name a few......If I try to ignore it it quickly reminds me who's boss. What planet are these people on?
As you say 'Life's too short' to deal with their nonsense so I don't bother trying. Bless those friends who are kindness itself. Family could learn a lot from them. Hope your symptoms ease soon sallyanna1.
as i get older i seem to care less about what people say .....
my partner and kids would tell you i have a ratty attitude to life ...comes from all the crap ive put up with over the years ...
when i do speak my mind ...the kids say its like a nuclear bomb going off !
doesnt happen very often and apparently its funny too .....
when you are aching all over with a headache that wont quit and some idiot ..says " but you dont look ill " ...thats when i tend to sit on my hands and hope that the urge to kill goes away
when my friends know im having a fybro attack they tend to say things to make me laugh ...like ..shrek rang he wants his face back lol
Love it "shrek rang he wants his face back!'....keep me amused all day that will!!..The illusion we are fed is that family are are nearest and dearest but truth be told family can be our worst nightmare! Like you with age is coming some wisdom and the sense to take what some people say with a big dose of salt....my younger self cared too much about what some family members had to say....now I have perspective and recognise their shortcomings and can quite happily disregard their words and them when necessary. Just wish I hadn't wasted so many years listening to them. Ah well better late than never! Thank god for decent friends!
this is very true ......after we can pick our friends and not our family ...
my friends are fantastic...one of my friends has copd and now diabetes ...and we both sat in a pub last weekend having a drink laughing about the fact that although our bodies arent supermodel quality anymore ...we can still give people grief ..albeit with a smile and sometimes shock them with our attitude ...sort of oldies misbehaving i think
Oh this weather does not help does it if it is damp like this I ache as though I have the flu and it does nothing for the mind either.
I have no close family apart from the OH but read some of your posts with great sadness and sometimes it makes me glad that there is just me and him and a few good friends. I know my other half has had so much uncalled for grief from his family and unfortunately as he is such a lovely person cannot abandon them and still helps them in every way he can.
He is at the hospital now with his youngest brother whose cat he is looking after as well who never ever bothered to visit or call when my husband was so ill and had to give up is job. I do think that at least my husband can go to bed with his conscious clear. Whatever they do to him he still loves them and can't cut the ties. It is strange that those who should be the nearest and dearest can seem to be the opposite in many cases.
At least with our friends we can chose them. I think the only reason we are stressed is because of being in constant pain 24/7 wityh an illness that appears to have no cure and that is a sobering thought for even the strongest minded of people to deal with. As we have said before if they could only be forced to walk a day in our shoes.
Take care everyone. Like you so not looking forward to winter, it will seem like a very long one after the poor summer.x
Look after yourself too rosewine. Your words are spot on. I'm glad you have a lovely OH to share your life with. Don't let family upset either of you. Take care.
I am running with the belief that we will have our summer in september and october - we pretty much have the last couple of years - watch this space.
Perhaps we should all disappear in july and august to summer sun and then return for our own sun in sept and oct lol xx
To be quite honest I don't do either extreme very well - cook inside if it is too hot and get such painful hands and feet if it is too cold - can't win either way xx
I think we are very similar. I have decided that my thermometer is broken as it only has two readings and they are too hot or too cold I can't remember when I felt a normal temperature. I have always been a girl of extremes but it can vary from minute to minute. Wish I could blame the menapause. Yes let's think optimistic it is definately going to be an Indian Summer. X
i do work part time in a shop and although some days i dont want to even get out of bed i make myself as i like my job and it gives me the chance to chat to people ..
i hate this damp weather though ..makes every part of me ache ...
had to dig out my jumpers today ..back to wearing thick socks and thermals again! ...
My body knows when storms are on their way sometimes before they start telling us on TV. Layers in the winter and heating pad on sofa in LR for sciatic helps get me thru the painful days.
I am so genuinely sorry to read that and I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck. I have found today that my elbows and my knees are agony! I am having real issues trying to do the simplest if things but that is Fibro! I did manage to make us both a trifle for dessert, and I cooked salmon and jacket potato for dinner.
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Help,cant stay awake...YAWWWWWWWWWWWWWnnnn.
upset
Chest pains and palpitations 
My Fybro
SOOOO ANGRY..............
