Originally Thinking of fenbadger

Originally Thinking of fenbadger

Not politics honest.

Bit wordy but. I would have posted the link but 'twas one of those Mdaisy would have pulled.

At the start of a new Millennium, mankind is still fighting and the political map of the world is shifting. Here are some definitions to help you distinguish your democracy from your dictatorship:

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to look after them and sells you the milk.

Applied Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them and you all share the milk.

Dictatorship: You have two cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

Nigerian democracy: You have two cows. The Government takes both and shoots you and sends the cows to Zurich.

Militarism: You have two cows. The Government takes both and drafts you.

Singaporean democracy: You have two cows. The Government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

Pure democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.

Representative democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

American democracy: The Government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the President is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs it "Cowgate". The cow sues you for breach of contract.

European democracy: You have two cows. At first the Government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes them both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Hong Kong capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at a bank, then do a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so you get four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, which sells the right to seven cows milk back to the listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because of bad feng shui.

Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The Government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Political correctness: You are associated with (the concept of ownership is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering , intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

British democracy: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The Government does not do anythin

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  • Made me smile.

  • Me too :) xx

  • Oh that is absolutely wonderful dear nedd and brought me to fits of the giggles........fab U Lous πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • That was a giggle and a half :)

  • Only one and a half, to me it was nearly bathroom here I come πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜œ

  • Giggle and a half is high praise :D

  • Clearly I have a insane giggle meter 😜😜😜

  • Or....I am being perverse :p

  • Nothing wrong with a bit of perversity.

  • Thank you Need! Being perverse can keep the world sane :)

  • When I am up against it its my default mode!

  • I can't argue with that......well I could, but I won't :p

  • Checking that hell has not frozen over in light of that statement :D

  • I saw the pig fly so that statement stands :D

  • Last one I saw fly was at a Pink Floyd concert :-)

    Your lips move but I can't hear what your saying :P

  • Maybe you were feeling a little too good at that concert and being high saw my pig fly :p

  • Hhhhmmmm look at your watch madam .........😜😜😜😜

  • Comfortably Numb :-)

  • What more could you ask for :)

    Saw a cartoon video of the way to do yoga, balancing a bottle that various excersises tip the bottle to your mouth, end result is bottle empty and subject flat on his back! One bottle you're flexible two bottles and you're double jointed :D

  • Can do legless without any assistance :-)

  • But are you suitably numb for the inevitable falling over :p

  • You have to stand up before you can fall down dont be hasty :P

  • Too true, its hard to fall flatter than flat on your back :)

  • Solid risk assessment right again as usual

    :-)

  • I thought we were on liquid risk assessments :p

  • Do not drink and drive , you will spill it :P

    liquid risk assessment ;-)

  • Unless you use a long straw :)

  • Obvious hazard drawing a short straw :P

  • You are driving that point home well methinks :)

  • Licensed to spill ;-)

  • An but is it shaken or stirred, Mr Bond :)

  • Brooke Bond and tea is best stirred :P

  • But not with that short straw ;)

  • undignified heap in the offing :D

  • There's a brew called comfortably numb :P

  • If I made it according to my dad it wouldn't be numb but paralysed :)

  • Avoid the last straw it can leave camels in undignified heaps allegedly :-)

  • Well done for making me smile xxx

  • Me too Lou πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

  • Are you hard to make smile? :p

  • Not as a rule, been run off my feet today all calm now xx

  • Had a few days like that recently :)

    Granddaughters 1st birthday today but had all the family up for buffet style snacks on Saturday!

    A giggle a day keeps the blues away :D

  • :) Scarily accurate! Tulip :)

  • Love this ! Had me laughing so hard!!! Oh please please can I send this to my daughter!!!!

  • Oh dear foggy I my giggle meter I do believe is worse than yours! Bathroom here I come!!!!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Ladies, ladies, calm yourselves! There are products available for sensitive bladders when the queue for the toilet is too long :p

  • I have them all xx

  • I am going to have to get me some of them thar thingy majegs!!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Those things majigs can be a life saver, especially for the gigglers among us :)

  • For sureπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • I prefer a visit to the powder room myself, of course being well trained and phosisticated ....whoops seems like pennies cost tenna's these days πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • tenna lady?

  • Haha I tested one out on Saturday, may as well have just left it off. There was that much rain, running, dripping, bouncing off me- one would not have noticed if I had had a wee accident hehehe

  • Politics with less Bull brilliant :-)

  • OMG! Totally hysterical. But really sad. I just signed a petition in the US asking that the government not allow milk to be thrown away while kids go hungry. Junk thinking!

  • Thanks nedd absolutely hysterical!

  • Good chuckle fodder Nedd :)

    Thankyou

    {{{{ Ned }}}}} fluffies and smiles :)

    xxx sian :)

  • Seems about right!

  • How did I miss this one? Oh, I know. Brain fog, internet problems and busy. Delete as applicable :O

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