How to deal with my landlady?

Morning all,

I don't often come on here to rant, but something happened this morning that has left me utterly speechless and absolutely fuming.

My back has been very painful for some weeks, and after a few phone consultations I caved yesterday and went to the GP. She was very nice, identified that my "fillet steak" muscles are in spasm, and prescribed me Diazepam to try and relax my muscles, 5mg for three days to begin with, and then reassess.

The pharmacy didn't have enough tablets, so have offered to drop them home today whilst my landlady is in.

Now, my landlady and I get along like a house on fire 95% of the time, but the 5% we don't she is an insufferable cow, to be honest. She is 61, and very much a force to be reckoned with.

This morning, just before work, I mentioned that the pharmacy would be dropping over the rest of my tablets, and she would need to tell them my name to get them. What I wasn't expecting was the following, said in a very aggressive/challenging manner:

"How much are they giving you!?"

(Only 5mg for three days)

"What other medications are you on?!"


"I find it VERY odd that they have given you something so strong when you haven't even mentioned you've had a 'bad back'"

(It's been bad for weeks, I've been chatting with the doctor)

"You're only young, you shouldn't be taking so many drugs"

(I know...)

"I find it very concerning, you need to watch it"

And then she simply walked out the house, leaving me in floods.

I'm 26, I take 600mg Gabapentin per day, just before bed. That is it. No painkillers, nothing. I ride my bike, I walk my dog, I do yoga. I work full time, I eat very healthily, I cook every evening. But mainly, I very rarely moan about what hurts on a day to day basis because that simply isn't me, I just get on with my life.

What have I done to deserve being spoken to like this?

I am upset, hurt, embarrassed and unsure how to tackle the situation when I get home later.

Advice? xx

8 Replies

  • The problem is not yours it's your landladies - once framed the decisions are can she be helped in resolving a problem of understanding.

    When people ask how you are some are presenting a sociable face that wants "fine" while others are genuinely concerned with the truth.

    Landladies reasons for assuming greater medical competence than your GP would be worth hearing as an explanation of attitude :-)

  • You should feel no need to tell or justify your medical condition with her, that is between you and your GP, if you want to explain it is your decision to make. Maybe she just got out the wrong side of the bed this morning xx

  • Hi there EA, I'm so sorry about your situation, I too live much too close to my landlady- she's right next door - and to some reason she seems to thing she has access to all areas of my life. Sometimes I think it is best just to put distance between us and them and not to communicate for a few days, (although if you actually live in the same house as yours that may not be so easy). I get comments which wreck me and she seems to think she has everything far worse than I do, but for me it's not a competition.......I hope she wins hands down every time. What bugs me, and I think from what you've said, you too, is that they feel they are in a position to pass judgement. You don't and shouldn't have to justify anything to her - you pay her rent, that doesn't give her carté blanché to intrude into your personal life and particularly not your medical situation !!

    Sending lots and lots of positive healing and strengthening vibes your way 😃😃

    Foggy x

  • Thanks guys.

    We live together in a very small cottage, and have done for a year and a half now. She is not usually too bad, but when she is she's a horror. I don't know whether she views herself as a mother-figure or quite what, but what she said to me this morning has left me feeling like she thinks I'm some sort of junkie or liar, and I'm very hurt.

  • I know its easy for me to say but please try not let her get to you. she has no understanding or empathy with what your condtion/s is/are and how they affect you everyday. I think you are amazing to be able to work full time, care for a dog, do yoga and lots more besides!

    a big gentle hug xx

  • Sorry but I fail to see how it's her business what tablets you are taking. None of them are illegal. Now if you were taking illegal drugs in her house that's a different kettle of fish. All you were asking her was to pick up your prescription. I'm a bit flabbergasted to be honest. Only my close family know what I'm on ( and you lot of course). I wouldn't dream of asking what drugs my acquaintances are on!

    Perhaps she's genuinely worried about you? If she is, she expressed it in a very obtuse way. I'd still be annoyed. Tell her to mind her own business next time. x

  • I am so genuinely sorry to read that and I sincerely hope that you are not still too upset over this nosy person. I want to genuinely wish you all the best of luck.

    All my hopes and dreams for you


  • Perhaps you should ask what medicines she takes, and then offer an opinion! It makes me mad when people think they have a right to question your life like this.

    Our medical information is supposed to be confidential, unless we choose to tell people. Maybe she thinks she's showing concern for your wellbeing, but there are much kinder ways to do that. Best wishes MariLiz

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