Trapped and lonely

Is there any single parents out there, with fibro, who have young children, was just wondering how you cope when your feeling so bad that you can hardly walk. I don't get any help off friends and family, they don't understand it and just say things like"pull yourself together " and tell me there are wost people off. I feel so trapped as normally I am always running about after the kids and usually keep my house lovely. I am moving house soon to an adapted property, goodness knows how I will fill those boxes.......x

24 Replies

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  • I am so genuinely sorry to read that you are suffering and struggling in this way, and I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck. It may be a good idea to contact social services and ask if there is any help with packing that they can offer you? If they can't they may know a charity that could help you?

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

  • Thankyou, I will look into that .....x

  • Hello Lynette

    Are your children under 5? If so there is a group called Homestart. I was in a similar situation to you (my children are older now) and was having trouble coping.

    The most lovely lady ever used to come to my house once a week for a couple of hours. She was very open to what she would do to help. One week she looked after my children whilst I had a sleep, or she would help me with some ironing.

    She would come at the same time every week and was the most amazing lady. My children loved her.

    Worth looking into maybe?

    xx

  • I've had some involvement with sure start years ago when my girls were much younger, they are 9 and 11 now so too old to get help off them. I could really do with a lady like that right now, that must have been great for you. I will try and look for some kind of help. Thankyou for your help.....x

  • Hi. I'm a single parent, I have no family living near me, live in a small town and feel quite isolated. My kids are in their teens, but age can bring different struggles.

    Have you spoken to an occupational therapist? Ask your GP to refer you. They can get you an 'enabler" to help you out with things like housework, shopping and maybe even someone to talk to.

    Things can be really hard when you're on your own.

    Be good to yourself and ask for some help.

    xxx

  • Hi, I will definitely look into that, thanks so much for your helpful reply, I will try and ask for help more .....x

  • Hello there I totally understand where you are coming from. My children are not small put I do look after my grandchildren. Nobody understands you more than the ones who have this illness. Maybe when you move house you will then meet new people. Karen xxx

  • I'm hoping when I move to try and become more organised and try and get some help with a few things around the house. I am normally very tidy, its driving me mad, thanks for your reply, take care....x

  • Hi again, Bringing up a family is hard enough, but with pain it is much worse. Try to do one thing at a time. I wish I could help you myself, aas I am a cleaner. Also remember you are doing a fantastic job by being a mother. Karen xx

  • I feel for you, I'm a single mum but my daughter is 19, I can't imagine feeling like this - constant aches, pains and fatigue and bringing up two little ones. I don't know what to suggest apart from the brilliant advice above. A friend of mine had twins and she was exhausted until someone suggested she get in touch with a local college that runs childcare courses - they sent a student round a few times a week to help her for their work placement/experience. This went on for about a year and they were a godsend. Just a thought? Take care x

  • That sounds really good, I will mention it to my occupational therapist....x

  • I have two young kids 8&6 and also single parent,its really hard ,you have to pace yourself try and explain to your children if they are able to understand and its activities at home,I know this isn't right,but my 2 have tablets and it keeps them going for a while,if you need to talk you can message me to talk if that helps but I know what your going through.

    All the best

    Emma

  • My 2 have ipads and I do worry they spend too much time on them, I'm going to get myself organised with things for them to do in case I have a bad day, like a craft box etc, I could call it the 'bad day cupboard '. Thanks for your advice .........x

  • Thats what I have a craft box I have loads of that stuff,dont be too down and hard on yourself like I said if you need to talk feel free to message me.

    Emma

  • I have a friend who does volunteer work for Homestart and she helps out with single mums etc, she enjoys it very much and she said it does help, so it may be worth ringing them, google them to see if they are in your area as I know some councils were not funding them as I think they are a charitable organisation, good luck x

  • Thankyou for your advice, I'm going to speak to my occupational therapist about help, I will mention to her about what you told me, thanks......x

  • Has any fibro suffers tried forever freedom drinking gel before? Only they offer a 60 day money bk garuntee if hasn't helped with condition at all. X. Edited by Admin

  • Hi there, I have just started taking it today, its been highly recommended for fibro, I really hope it works but won't feel the benefits for a few weeks.....x

  • Brill u never no sometimes the Benifits might start quicker for u fingers crossed xx

  • Hi Lynette,

    I also have two children (8 & 13) and am a single mum, and though they know mum can't do the things she used to be able to it is really difficult and causes different issues with them both. There are days when I find it especially hard but just remember you are not alone and you do the best job you can do and at the end of the day they love you for you. I know it's hard but do try and get out of the house even if it's only for a short walk or trip to a play centre, but if there are days when you rely on the TV don't beat yourself up about it. What about colouring or simple card? My youngest still loves to sit and colour and I find it therapeutic too if I've had a bad day! ;-)

    Take care xxx

  • Thankyou, I do beat myself up because I can't do a lot with them, I'm going to get a craft box and colouring books, especially for the days when I feel bad. Thanks for your helpful advice.....x

  • I am a single parent also, living with this condition since before my child was born. Some days are definitely harder than others, and isolation can make the hard days seen unbearable. If you aren't physically close to friends or family, how about an online gathering? This site seems ideal. Other than friends, I have found my personal meditation practice to be very helpful. Yoga, although sometimes uncomfortable, always makes me feel better eventually. I hope you can find the resources you need to improve your situation.

  • Hi Lynette, I have read your letter and feel so sad for you. My daughter who is 39 has had Non Hodgkin lymphoma since she was 28,also fibromyalgia, and ME/cfs.Her children now are 12 and 7yrs. Two girls. The one of 12yrs has just been diagnosed with ME.There are no services in East Sussex for children so she is waiting to go up to Kings Colledge. I know what she goes through like yourself with all the symptoms, and the guilt over the children. She has no friends to help her, and I myself have had chronic back and pelvic pain for over 30 yrs,so feel guilty myself I can't help very much. She has been taking the Forever freedom aloe Vera drinking gel for over a year now and says that it has definitely helped to some extent. If you could try and afford to buy it I would say definitely give it a try as she does not cope with medication well at all. I am glad you have been given some good information from so many kind people, and do truly hope you get help, and wish you all the luck for you future. Love Maureen x

  • Hi, so sorry to hear that about your daughter and granddaughter, life is so very cruel to some of us. I have just started to drink the aloe gel yesterday, so I do hope in time it will help me. The guilt you carry around is so difficult to deal with, so its not just the pain we suffer, its the emotional side of things too. I wish you and your daughter well and thankyou for your kind words......x

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