Does anyone else feel completely abandoned by family or like they think you can switch off symptoms to suit them?
My family are part of the stress that reoccurs regularly to never let my life settle down and constantly change the goal posts.
I live with my parents again and seem to be stuck here until my pain and medication is brought under control.
My father struggles with a self inflicted knee pain (his own goalie landed on him in a football match 15 years ago) and all the world revolves around that as if noone has had pain as bad his knee ache. He's been told his knee cannot be fixed without replacing the joint eventually but must be managed in the meantime and he said its his worst nightmare. He takes cocodamol and ibruprofen gel and has an ice pack. Thats it. I said 'so your pain doesnt make you sick, cause "fit" like episodes or make you feel like you cannot get out of bed. His answer is no dont be ridiculous why. I said thats a basic description of my pain on a daily basis.
He keeps telling me getting into a daily routine of my old normal work schedule would make me feel better. That was 9-6 minimum over 6 days a week mobile massage and beauty therapy, carrying massive massage tables in and out of my car. Its not possible, if i was based in one place it wouldnt be half as bad but still a bit out of my reach energy wise.
My parents decide when i am allowed to struggle and be in a low mood and if its not in their alloted time then i get rollocked as if i put this on when i want to be a melodramatic reality tv queen or i am a toddler wanting a packet of sweets in the supermarket, not a 27 year old wanting her life back but stuck in a viscous cycle. I get up after an hours sleep throughout the night and have heard them arguing about some nonsense and before i even sit down they start on me about something. Whether its my fault the nhs are so slow organising an mri for me or that i am a lazy miserable cow who loves to be the centre of attention and happy doing nothing with my life.
Only my friend rebecca sees what they are doing to me. They are two faced to me. The minute neighbours start commenting on my condition they have my side but within seconds they are ganging up on me again. I never know whether i want to go home or visit my grandma who although doesn't understand fibromyalgia she does understand me and know i am not right and am so depressed and at the end of my tether as i am still waiting for medication to work, appointments to happen and somebody to finally say right i'll get you sorted!