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Struggling

Zita71 profile image
15 Replies

Hi guys good news about the baby x x I am really struggling tonight I finishedmy forty hours shift today. I work ten hour shift over 4 days i felt okOK when I walked out to car then it was like a big Vail of pain hit me. I just feel like someone has drained the life out of me. I tried tonight to be yeah its Saturday night but when I was upstairs in my bedroom by myself the tears just started. I did compose my self and came down stairs to be with the family painted in the smile we all do. I went upstairs to take evening tablets and choked. Said to my husband on you go to bed i will be in in a minute he has crashed out and I am sitting in living room burning up and having a good cry to myself I think it really hit home my life has to change and I need to do what's best for me know not others. I really feel lost and think my life is over and it's a bitter pill to swallow not sure if it's the weather doing this as forecast for snow here. Hope u all have a great weekend. Soft hugs to every one of you with this bloody offal fibro xmx

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Zita71 profile image
Zita71
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15 Replies

Hi Zita71

I'm so sorry that you feel so bad tonight. Wow, what a lot of hours you work! I can barely manage 25hrs. I think you are really brave to grin and bear it for your family to try and keep things normal but you matter too. My hubs has just gone up and I, like you, sit and contemplate my life. You are doing a lot of hours and have yourself reached the point where you know you can't carry on for the sake of your health. My hubs suggested I apply for PIP and cut some hours. I know we can't afford me to give up too much but he wants me to have some sort of life and 'come back to him'. Obviously I don't know your situation, but I hear you crying out for help. Like you, I felt my 'life' over but after a sort of grief period I am refusing to let this damn fibro rule my life entirely. YOU are a special person and being exhausted has a huge affect on your symptoms and emotions. It can be lonely when the family get on with things and you feel too tired to join in or to share how you really feel. It means having to accept that important decisions have to be made about work, money etc. Perhaps you have a family member or friend you can sound your thoughts out to. Your gp has a duty of care to provide you with the right support you require so please get on to him/her. I am always up late so am around to 'talk' to. Don't ever feel you don't matter. You do.xx

Zita71 profile image
Zita71 in reply to

Md55 thank you for your kind words it helped x x

TheAuthor profile image
TheAuthor

I am so sorry to read that you are suffering and struggling so much and I genuinely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to these issues. I would try being more open with your husband about how you feel and what you are going through. I am sure he loves you and would want to be there for you and hep you in any way that he can?

I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing

Zita my friend poor you a stumbling block you have reached. A very difficult one to cope with and although you feel very alone your hubby is there for you but has not perhaps grasped how bad fibro can be.

OhDo you think perhaps you could cut some hours down It might make an extraordinary difference to you and the family.

I hope you managed to rest last night aand that Sunday will be an easier day for you. Next week try and visit your GP and have a chat see if your meds are right for you at the moment. Can they be changed for something that will help more?

Remember we are always here if you need to let of steam or just someone to chat with who does understand.....

xginsing

Zita71 profile image
Zita71 in reply to Ginsing

Hi ginsing thank you for your kind words they helped and I will talk to my hubby as he is a very special man x x

Hugs my friend you will come through this, we all have had to make similor choices and its not easy.

PIP is a good idea, it is not means tested and would help to soften the financial blow if you change over to part time.

We all reach cross roads and have to find ways to adapt as life changes But must put your health first, this is not an illness that you can push threw, you have to go with the flow.

We are here if needed Sue :)

Zita71 profile image
Zita71 in reply to

Hi mayrose54 thanks for that will look into it x x

elmertobe profile image
elmertobe

Hi zita71

I am in a similar position. Currently in my third week off work (I am a full time teacher) and coming to the conclusion that I may not be able to continue working there full time. It is devastating as I love my job, I am 25 and been teaching nearly 3 years and diagnosed with fibro for 2 years. In that time I have only worked one academic year full time when I didn't need time off for fibro. I reduced my contract at one point, not my choice but it was a help. Having even just one extra day off can allow a recovery day, it meant that I could spend a day in bed and not worry about the mountain of planning and marking I had to do. Not sure if this helps but I understand how you feel. Hope your feeling less pain today!

Zita71 profile image
Zita71 in reply to elmertobe

Thank elmertobe sorry you have to cut down your hours when it's a job you love x x I think last night it all hit me like a thunder bolt. I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago but I have been fight this for last 5 years x x x sending you soft hugs and a big thank you x x

dondons99 profile image
dondons99

Sending you big hugs, sorry that you are struggling but you must try and cut down on some hours it's your body telling you your doing too much Hun, please go and see your Dr to see if your meds are ok, I'm here if you ever need a chat.

Take care Hun, hope tomorrow is a it better for you xxxxxx

nettybetty profile image
nettybetty

I could cry reading that x yes I understand every thing you say x I don't know how much longer I can go on and I can tell that's how you feel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

cruz profile image
cruz

I haver been there too and cried with frustration as to why this illness is so bad and have felt very isolated in the past even though my family are very understanding, I am having a very good period at the moment and just hoping the bubble does not burst!!!!

Zita71 profile image
Zita71

I hope for you that your good run last forever x x I am frustrated they don't listen x x

stumpedok profile image
stumpedok

Hi Zita. Can i reiterate what mayrose54 said about Fibro not being something you can push through. I spent years using willpower to keep pushing way beyond my body's capability and all I did was create a roller coaster life with frequent crashes/flares which got worse and worse. I wouldnt recommend it as a life style to anyone. Please learn from my mistakes and accept what you have as soon as you can - a long term illness which means you really need to treat yourself with gentleness, listen to your body and respond to its needs on a daily even hourly basis. Many Fibros say once they learnt the art of 'pacing' their health became less volatile and I can only endorse that. I've yet to be convinced about the real effectiveness of the drugs on offer for Fibro. Life can still be fulfilling and happy just in a different way than perhaps you were planning.

Great believer in a good cry....stuffing feelings is a bad idea!!

Take care of you.

Zita71 profile image
Zita71 in reply to stumpedok

Hi thanks for your reply it means a lot to me to know I am not alone with this x x thank you x x 😜😊

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