Pacing

[Tinkerjack1912]

This morning I have overdone things and now I'm in agony and struggling to move. My better half has been poorly so today I've had to find away of getting three kids up and ready for school two being my toddlers so they need 90% help, also being Red Nose Day they had to have funny faces too. I had to get my youngest to nursery for 8:45 and my middle child to the doctors for 9:40. Then I had to get him to nursery so he could have some fun with his friends. Then at 11:45 back to pick them both up and had to get some shopping. I understand the basic idea of pacing but how do you guys cope when time is up against you?

[Hidden]

Dear TJ,

being of grandmotherly age, I am afraid I have no specific advice for your situation. Only observations where I come in contact with mothers with small children - outside schools and in my local leisure centre when sessions overlap slightly. It appears to me, that only some mothers are actually BEING with their children while they are being with them - the majority stand over them, and not a few of those keep saying come on, hurry up while they do. Again, I am not saying that you belong to either of those categories. However, it seems to me the quality of pacing is first and foremost an inner attitude. Time is always with you. And in just the right amount. 24 hrs per day. Never against you. How could it be? You see? To practice pacing, I tend to recommend, from experience, the mindfulness meditations you can listen to or download for free from the UCLA web site. A search on google with UCLA - Diana Winston - mindfulness audio free - should bring them up.

PS Did you think of doing shopping while without the kids? Doing it with them seems to me a recipe to run out of -well, if not time, then mind? - even with the best will.

Best wishes - 3 is a challenge!

Barb

[Tinkerjack1912 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Thankyou for your advice, my little ones only do 3 hours at nursery so by the time I'd dropped my son off and gone back home for some breakfast as I didn't have time first thing plus needing a jumper and bigger jacket as it's been very cold today, it was time to pick them up. Generally they are pretty good shopping today so I don't have an issue with that, today however they were very badly behaved but we can't all be Angels all of the time. X

[Shazzzy]

Hi tinkerjack, wish i had a magic wand to help you out. I m sorry i have no advice for child situation, but it occured to me you could get your shopping delivered once week, then all you would need to do is pick up basics when you are out.i now do this and it saves soo much energy which i can use for something else. It only costs £1/2 pound delivery depending on who it is with and what time you have it. When my daughter was younger she used to go to school with a neighbour and his son when i was ill, but she was an only child at the time. I do hope you get more advice from someone in similsr position.

[Tinkerjack1912 in reply to Shazzzy]

My hubby to be suggested the same thing, great minds & all that. I'm feeling like I've got a full blown cold. With a fluey feeling in my bones. X

[Shazzzy in reply to Tinkerjack1912]

No wonder you feel so exhausted!

[clare_hart]

Hi Tinkerjack, I don't have kids at the age I've developed fibro, but we all experience deep fatique after overdoing it the previous day or even on the same day. Pacing . . . it's the best medication for this fatigue and pain. It sounds like you have more than both hands full. I am sorry for your pain and hope it gets better.

Have you looked into the idea of a "mother's little helper," someone who could take the kids to school, etc., and/or help babysit in the afternoons? It might not be so costly if you get a grandmotherly type who loves kids and would not cost you too much. Just a thought. I did this kind of job when I was in my teens. It was fun and rewarding. But a mom has to be careful to get someone responsible and who knows and likes children, or it could be a bad experience for all involved.

I agree with mindfulness meditation or guided meditations (my favorite) to help calm and slow you down and give you more strength to cope.

Whatever you do, I wish you the best.

[Tinkerjack1912 in reply to clare_hart]

Thanks for the advice. I will have a think about it. My other half is around a lot most days as he is my carer. It is just today that been a real struggle. Xx

[clare_hart in reply to Tinkerjack1912]

Keep your chin up. It is always good to come here for a rant or support. Even when just having a bad day like you're having. Really good to know there are like souls here.

Take care of yourself dear << -- that makes me sound like an old lady . . . my great aunt or something! aaarrrghh

[Tinkerjack1912 in reply to clare_hart]

Thanks you too. Xx

[fenbadger]

So much sympathy. I'd have tried shopping in that small but precious space while they were all in school/nursery. It's is indeed hard when you're up against it and sometimes your strategies just wont help. It's sometimes good if your friends are TRUE friends. There's a shade of this in Shazzzy's reply. Part of my inspiration came from a friend with 2 school age kids, a toddler, AND A HYSTERECTOMY. With the kind of incision at the time it was really painful taking 3 to school and bringing one back. She said, "I love my friends but I can cook, and don't really need a freezer full of home baked ready meals. What would really help is someone to take the kids to school."

Just a thought on internet shopping, the cheaper slots might not be at the best time for you but if you can afford it perhaps the main bulky and heavy shop once a week? Look at Ginsing's post for this morning, there may be something useful there. healthunlocked.com/fibroact....

Hugs

[Tinkerjack1912 in reply to fenbadger]

Thankyou. I'm feeling really rough this morning just want to hide away. Xx

[rosewine]

I don't know whether your local supermarket does it but we do "click and collect" which is free and they give you a 2 hour slot and you can have it either packed in bags or not. We find it a massive help as neither of us is very well. We actually sometimes get rewarded for having three orders that way so this week we got £20 off our shop so for pensioners that was a big bonus. We also used it for getting bulky and heavy items as they are always good and will put the stuff in our car for us so there is only the taking out of the car to home.

Hope you haven't got the flu and fingers crossed that your OH will be feeling better soon.x

[Tinkerjack1912 in reply to rosewine]

Thankyou for your response 😃 our local supermarket has just started click n collect which I might look into.

Still feeling rotten but I will not give in. X

[TheAuthor]

Hi Tinkerjack1912

I am so sorry to read that and I genuinely hope that you are feeling better now.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken