Fibromyalgia Action UK
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I Feel Guilty

I live in a retirement complex and last night we had a Christmas party organised by two of our ladies in the residents lounge. The place was a mess and it was decided to clean up this morning and me and another resident volunteered to help. They were meeting at 09.00. My problem is that I felt so ill this morning when I woke up (headache and pains all over my body) that I couldn't go and help. I will try to explain when I see them but does anyone think they will understand? It is so difficult to explain this condition to anyone who doesn't have it or even heard about it. I still don't feel well even after taking pain killers, but I do feel guilty about not turning up. I was stupid to volunteer I guess. By the way there were enough able bodied people to clean up. Have any of you been in a similar situation?

gentle hugs from Sheila xx

11 Replies

Hi Sheila :)

This is a situation we find ourselves in frequently I think :o

We cannot help it and you're right people who don't have this illness or others like/similar to it do find it difficult to explain.

Recently I put up a post asking members how they explained/communicated their fatigue and pain and think you may find it interesting to take a look at. Also a fellow fibromite put up a post to her blog which is very good and there is a link on my post too.

Fibro Hibernation Club: Let's talk about how we communicate our pain and fatigue to others

There are also a number of Fact Sheets on our Mothersite

If there is a careworker at the centre who you get on with or is nice enough maybe you could ask them to print some off for you to help your cause :)

Direct link to Fact Sheets:


I hope this is useful for you and wish you wellness for the festive time and send you fleecy fluffie hugs to fight off the fibro monsters :)

xxx sian :)

1 like

thank you so much for your help.xx


I found myself trying to help my daughter at Gd s birthday party. It was before diagnosis so i found myself getting upset by the amount of pain i was in just by wrapping slices of cake. but felt worse when i coudnt help her tidy the function room up after the party ended.

After all only a few months before i had been a cleaner and this one room should have been a doddle for me. :(


Ditto I was working in housekeeping clocking a 50 hr week, left went to work 20hr week as a pub cleaner then nothing............ I also struggle to do my own room at home and feel cross with myself for not being able to do it the same way anymore :(

My OH is no where near as thorough :o

Empathetic fleecy fluffies for you {{{{{{{{{{ Sue }}}}}}}}}}

xxx sian :)


Now hubbys not being as thorough. I could write a book, but wont it takes too long to fond the letters on the key pad and do the corrwctions.

I think that i have pointed out to him 3 times this week that the kitchen tiles need doing.

I will have a go my self tomorrow when he is out.




I chased hubby to clean our kitchen properly last week. He will get on the floor and scrub it tile by tile aand scrub the cooker til it shines (I know I'm lucky to have that) ;)

.............. but cannot throw dead food out or wipe a work surface :o

The kitchen has always been his responsibility and the bathroom mine since being married 2 or 3 years...... and for a very good reason :D


He does his best and helps a lot with many things that I can't manage anymore - bless him ;) Just wish I could do it myself and like you sometimes I get fed up and do it myself just so it's done and it won't bug me anymore.

If you do the tiles remember to take it easy and not overdo it hunny :)

btw I beat my record for finding my cuppa cold the other day with 4 cups of green tea I think I throw more out than I get to drink these days :o

Fluffies and smiles xxx sian :)


He did shampoo the carpets yesterday. they were very wet at bed time but seem to have dried out today.


That's good at least you're not having to avoid the wetness today :)


Hi Sheila

I too live in such a complex. They have the party nxt week and when asked if I would attend I had to say it depends if I am ok. Some understand and some don't, that's inevitable. Dont worry about it, you are the priority.

Happiness and better health for the future

Ursi xx


Hi iluvcatsuk

I just wanted to wish you all the best of luck with this, and I genuinely hope that they understand your illness and your predicament.

All my hopes and dreams for you



thanks everyone for your kind replies.

love and very soft hugs

Sheila x


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