Not sure where else to turn :/

[Surferchickita]

Hiya, I'm new to this, I wasn't really sure where else to turn, my biggest support network has gone into administration so I'm sorta on my own a bit at the moment. Basically I have Fibro, as well as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, I'm constantly in agony, yet I on as much painkillers as I can be, I'm on 2 different types of morphine and gabapentin as well as over the counter stuff. Things just seem to be going seriously downhill, I have depression and PTSD too, and I've just hit the lowest of the low, a low I did not even realise existed... Guess I had to get the out, somehow...

[lou60]

Hello, sorry you are feeling so awful. Have you ever been offered counselling? I was treated successfully for PTSD a specialist in this field using EMDR, see if you can get a referral to a counsellor it helped to get me back from a very dark place. It continues to help me even though the treatment has stopped. I hope you feel better soon. Lou xx

[Surferchickita in reply to lou60]

Hiya, yeah, I have tried all sorts, online counselling 3 times, counselling at school twice, counselling in my old college, counselling in my current college and seeing a psychiatrist at CAMHS. But with CAMHS, they don't actually listen, I asked for help just hours before I first tried to end my life and was sent home and told I would be fine, and that's been the answer every other time i've asked them for help, so i'vr given up. With EMDR I was referred a year ago, dropped out of college 10 months ago so I could really commit to it, and they lost me in the system, adament I had to see the best woman in EU, every time I asked to see someone readily availible, they said no... Until a month ago when they offered to refer me to someone with no waiting list... Now it's too late and I am at college so cannot commit to it. I stand no chance now at all... Giving up with it all. Even now, I'm in absolute agony, I didn't say earlier, but, I also hear voices, they won't shut up. I'll stop rambling now :L Thank you for your answer

[lou60 in reply to Surferchickita]

You are not rambling at all and you deserve better treatment, you sound like you been through the mill with this but do think again about EMDR, I really did find it very odd at first but as I said it dragged me back to reality and at least, for me anyway, it's not that bad. Lou xx

[Surferchickita]

Thanks, means a lot. The thing is, I'm not strong enough anymore... I know I'm not strong enough. I have college now, my psychiatrist keeps trying to make me drop out of college again, I can't... It'll cause loads more trouble with family etc. And like I said, i'm not strong enough, kinda seems like this is the point of no return... Thanks again for your answers

[Hidden]

Hi there

Was there something particular that made you feel so down or is it just the huge amount of stuff you have going on that's pulled you down?

Whichever way, try not to give up.

I know you might think that's easy for me to say but I've been through a very similar situation to you and am on a lot of pain killers that just don't seem to work, until you stop them that is!

I have a huge worry on me right now, and I seriously want to give up and run away, but I can't. I have to stay and face it. My pain is through the roof but I have to go on somehow.

Sorry I'm rambling.

I just want to say I literally feel your pain and issues.

I'm thinking of you.

Warm blessings

Lu xx

[Eggcustard]

I wish I could give you the answers to all of your pain, but sadly I can't. I can understand constant pain and having not much of a life and feeling like giving up. The only advice I can give is to do what YOU need to do to feel better and not to worry about what others think. Don't give up, you will find a way through this, sending very big hugs xx

[clare_hart]

Hi chikita, It is good you came here to share your problems. I personally can't fathom an online counselor though! Well, despite that I am a believer, that talking is one of the best ways to deal with depression.

IDK about PTSD, but have you seen a therapist who specializes in this? And does your doctor know that you hear voices? This could be an important piece of your medical care. I hope you do well soon.

Don't give up. If you had truly given up, you wouldn't have reached out to us, so keep on reaching. We're here for you.

[Kerryjess]

Chickita, I'm so sorry to read of what you are going through but glad you have reached out to others on this site. Talking is important but like Clare, I don't get the online counsellor bit! I've used a counsellor connected to my GP practice several times. What concerns me is the pressure you seem to be under from family-do they not realise how much you are struggling at the moment? Trying to complete a college course while dealing with all these other health issues is soooo hard, especially if you have no support. I hope you find a health professional who is sympathetic and listens to you, but please ,please use the forum to talk with others here who understand the ups and downs ( sometimes more downs!) of living with Fibro etc etc. Gentle hugs to you xo