Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Feeling hopeless

Hello Well my memory is getting worse not better. I give up, just take to writing things down, and just laughing about it. Good my job does not take a lot of thinking otherwise I would be in trouble. Sometimes I feel hopeless, I wish I had more energy. I have four grandchildren two I see regularly and look after until my daughter comes from work. My son's two children I try to see as much as I can, but it is becoming more and more difficult as his wife distances herself from me. However, I am sure I am not alone. Karen xx

7 Replies

So sorry to hear you are feeling down. I think everyone even those who aren't ill sometimes find the grandchildren absolutely draining even though they love them to bits. I know my two friends say they love to see them but also love to see them go as they are absolutely cream crackered after looking after them.

That was one of the main reasons I had to give up my job as unfortunately mine needed a razor sharp mind as I was an adviser and the comnination of the pain and the medication and fibro fog just did for me. Often now I go to say one thing and something entirely different seems to come out of my mouth and it is an achievement if I ever finish one task without getting sidetracked and forgetting what I am doing. I am fine as long as I am not in too much pain or too tired but if I ahve the combination I might as well not bother with anything that needs any thought.

it is difficult if your daugher in law is awkward can you see your son and the grandchildren just on their own or is that impossible.

I think you are doing brilliantly if you are still holding down a job so well done for that. Soft hugs.x


Aw please dont feel hopeless Karen ((Hug)). You cant help being unwell! It sounds like you do everything you can and thats all anyone can ask. Take care xx


Hi karran12

I personally believe that you are an amazing and wonderful person who does everything they can to help her children and grandchildren when they need you! Have you spoken to either your son or daughter in law as to how you feel about being distanced? Maybe they genuinely have no idea that they are doing this? As they are just getting on with their lives? Either way, it may be best to discuss the situation with them?

I want to wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x

1 like

Hi Real sorry to hear you so distressed , cause iii have the same problem. I don't know if this is any help but for important things like cooking meds appointments I use a varied amount of prompts such as my mobile with alarms that I set and a loud bell ringing timer for cooking I find this really helps in between forgetting to set the alarms lol. This can help you feel independent still too I hate how it can leave one feeling so vulnerable. Well hoping this helps a little but afraid that symptom is just so common with fibro.

Fellow fibro person xx


Hello! I completely understand about the lack of memory, I feel the same. I forget everything, especially appointments or even that I've put the washing machine on and it's left sitting all day so needs done again!

Well done for still managing to work. I'm just managing to hold down a job, between my pain and fatigue it's almost impossible.

Sorry to hear your feeling down and hopeless. Please don't feel hopeless, you are doing your best to spend time with your grandchildren & I'm sure they love spending quality time with you.

Gentle Hugs, Charlie x


Looking after your grandkids IS a job. You deserve a pat on the back. Maybe you could let your daughter know that you need a mother's little helper (so to speak) so you can get through your day?

I agree with Ken about talking to your son and daughter-in-law about the awkwardness between you and her. Even if you just start the conversation with your son in a way he knows you aren't resentful of his wife?

As for memory loss, like Royalspec said, yep I set the kitchen timer when I'm doing laundry or soaking plants. I'd get side tracked and forget all about them otherwise. I set my mobile alarms, enter things in Outlook and in my mobile calendar. I have missed appointments in the past; almost missed one today.

Grrr. Do you think Ginko Biloba works? But is there any strong enough for us, heh heh?

Please keep your chin up. Mull it over. You might feel differently tomorrow.

Come back with an update OK?


Hi Karran, please don't be disheartenend about the memory. It can actually be quite useful in certain situations!

I had to fill in a form for the council yesterday and couldn't think of my address, had to look it up on my i-phone. Laugh about it, much better than worrying.

Hugs xx


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