small rant - having a bad few days

I have been signed off work for two months since december, but witht he previso I can go back to work to do light duties if I feel up to it.

I have been back at work until a couple of weeks ago where I took a bad turn and have been in a tremendous amount of pain since. I did call the docs and they advised an increase in meds and rest over the phone as I was too ill to come in.

I have kept in contact with work and advised of the situation c)and advised I would be off all week this week, with a telephone docs appointment on Monday as I reach the max level of dosage on Sunday

I just ogt a letter from work, telling me I need to provide a doctors note for the last 2 weeks I have been off ill.

This is stressing me out no end - i am in so much pain I can hardly walk to and from bathroom, I am in no state to be at work, yet they apparently think I can get tot he doctors to get another note, even though they already have one.

I called the docs but they have no face to face appointments anyway ( which is needed for a doctors note - they do not provide them on telephone consultations), no telephone appointments until the one on Monday that I booked in over a week ago (where I could at least discuss my concerns regarding work's latest demands), and the receptionist thinks the doc would not provide another note anyway as I already have one until end of Feb.

My shoulders and knees have now flared up - I know it is stress, I know I should be calm, but quite frankly I cannot calm down - I am so upset that work continue to treat me like I have done something wrong, they are not supportive, and they seem to be trying to make my life as hard as possible.

I am sure others here have also had work difficulties, but from what I read in the posts, mainly your employers seem a lot more considerate. I think not having a firm diagnosis leaves me open to a lot of hassle at work, so far my docs notes say unspecified back pain, althought he pain is in more places than my back, it is worst there, and always there- constantly, even when lying down so they have to point at something but work are not happy with this.

Sorry to go on, I know I am moaning and there is nothing I can do - I just need someone to talk to who might understand.

I am hoping this self pitying rant finds you all as well as possible and that you are having the good days.

Big hugs

M

22 Replies

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  • Very gentle hugs. I hate those bad patches :-( . I hope things look up for you really soon and you feel brighter. Moan away, it's allowed and is far better than keeping the pain and stress to yourself. We can't do anything to make it go away but hopefully you know we all care and want to give you a virtual shoulder to lean on or cry on.

    Very gentle hugs

    Jillyxx

  • Hi Jilly,

    Thank-you so much for your reply. I do feel rather sheepish now having posted such a rant, but I must confess it felt good just to let it all out, and I know you guys have been through the same and much worse, so it is a safe place jsut to get if off my chest without fear of upsetting anyone :-)

  • I'm sorry you are having this really rough time, I wonder if it might be worthwhile ringing your boss and pointing out that you already have a sick note which covers you for this period, but let them know you are seeing your doctor on Monday when you can, if

    necessary get another note. It might be an idea also to challenge your doctor to give you a proper diagnosis, "unspecified back pain" is such a loose diagnosis, if he/she isn't able to perhaps you could ask to be referred to a rheumatologist as there are many doctors who struggle to acknowledge fibro.

    Please don't apologise for saying what you have, we are here to listen and support you in whatever way we can, and I am sending lots of positive healing vibes your way :-)

    Foggy x

  • Oh pickle, that sounds vile. Try and remember that the receptionist is not the doctor, they sometimes have delusions of grandure so don't take what she says as read. It sounds like you should see I different GP. I changed my doctor and it made the world of difference.

    I don't know if this will help, but I get so much more pain when I'm stressed, so I have these little notes stuck up here and there - twitter.com/Jigwam/status/4...

    Jigwam

    xxx

  • Oh Jigwam - that picture of your note made me smile - that is brilliant and I think I will pinch it and print out my own copy - thank-you!

  • i got told that fibro isnt covered by the dda and now on a red for sickness but at least they have made it better for me ie a seat aloowed the heating on

  • Angied,

    I am glad you feel they have made it better for you, but what concerns me is that you said they turned hte heating on ??? surely your office is not without heat during winter - that is bound to increase your pain

  • Hello Angied,

    People living with Fibro are indeed covered by the DDA act which from 2010 became the Equality Act. Please see this link to the FibroAction website about work and Fibro;

    fibroaction.org/pages/work-...

    If you need any more information about your rights and reasonable adjustments please email us info@fibroaction.org for more help.

    Best Wishes

    Emma :)

    FibroAction Administrator

  • You rant all you want, We all understand how you must be feeling and the need for a good rant to let some of those feeling out Lots of gentle hugs Sue

  • I'm sorry to hear this for you and feel your stress hunny. There's always something isn't there.

    We're hear to listen anytime and its perfectly fine to rant, rant away :)

    Giving you many {{{{Mrs_Somerset}}}} many fluffie hugs and wishing it sorts soon for you. xx

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • Thank-you Sian,

    Hugs always welcome - especially fluffie ones :-)

  • What a terrible time you are having. I don't have a defined diagnosis though my GP has said it is fibromyalgia he puts arthralgia (I think I have spelt it correctly) on my fit notes which doesn't help. Fybromyalgia is covered by the equalities act, which seems to supersede the DDA, and putting this would just make everything simpler. I would speak to your doctor on Monday and tell him about the stress and pressure from your employers and see what he says about giving you another note for them. I would also contact your local CAB office or the nearest benefit rights centre and speak to them about this because your employers are out of line. As for apologising for your rant, that's completely unnecessary, we all understand and are here to support each other in whatever small way we can. Take care and hopefully things will ease for you soon, Linda.

  • Hi Linda,

    Thank-you for your message.

    I am sorry your diagnosis is not through - but great to hear your doc has put something down that your work can use.

    I did see an occupational heath physician last week, and although the overall experience was not good I do remember her mentioning that she would put down that whatever I had is covered by DDA - I am not sure but I think that is disabiliy discriminations act? I googled it when I got home as she did not explain it at the time - I suppose once you have been in pain for a while you get used to the acronyms :-)

    She mentioned she would put that down as she thought it would be long term and would offer me some protection from work, I am not clear on this - perhaps work's renewed efforts are due to her letter which I suppose they have now received from the OH physican, it probably annoyed them and they are doing their best to push me out before any documented paperwork goes through.

    I just do not have the energy for this - I cannot imagine how others here have coped with this paperwork fiasco for years and years - I hope to learn the strength that they have.

  • I cannot see how hsving two sick notes for one period of time is even legal, i would try checking with an employment rights advice centre. Not what you need at all when feeling so bad, hope things improve for you soon.

  • Hi

    I had a similar experience in my last job. My manager was new in and right from the word go she made no secret of the fact she hated me.

    I had been ill and had been off work during the time that you can self certificate. I explained to her I didn't need one and she screamed in my face and told me to get one or else!

    I went to my surgery and guess what - they said I didn't need one. I explained the situation and he said he'd happily do me a letter confirming I wasn't well enough to work but it would cost my employer £25.

    When I told my Manager she just told me to forget it. She made my life hell over absences.

    Louise xx

  • Hi Louise,

    I am so sorry to hear about your boss - shouting in your face is simply not on. I hope she moved on or you did - does not sound like a healthy work environment.

    Big Hugs

    M

  • Mrs Somerset.

    How unfeeling your workplace is. I can only confirm the helpful suggestions made above.

    If you are feeling really bad on Monday why not go to the surgery at the time of your telephone appointment? Surely the receptionist cannot deny you that?

    Big hug

    Nancy Xx

  • Hi Nancy,

    Thank-you for your reply.

    I am afriad I would find it really difficult to get there so would not want to go to all the effort ( even getting dressed is struggle, let alone sitting upright at the docs)and expense( taxi fare is £10) unless I had a definite appointment.

  • Hello Mrs_Somerset,

    It sounds like you may need to take some advice from either the Citizen Advice Bureau (CAB) or one of the other organisations listed on our work & Fibro web page on the FibroAction website;

    fibroaction.org/pages/work-...

    If you need anymore information on your rights or reasonable adjustments, please email us direct info@fibroaction.org

    Best Wishes

    Emma :)

    FibroAction Administrator

  • Sorry, i havent read through all the posts, its late now and just off to bed, but i wanted to say how much i admire you, that you have tried going back to work after so many weeks. I really do feel for you as i too got bullied at work, but this was before i knew i had fibro but i was born with a disability that a couple of bosses really turned against me. I was asked to provide medical evidence but because i could no longer perform certain duties. I ask both my consultant and my GP and they both said the same, that doing. Xyz would be detrimental to my health and they would happily write to confirm this, however they were unable to give me a letter, my boss would have to contact them! Did they ever? No!! When you speak you your GP ask for a letter confirming, he may provide that instead, or you may get the reaction that I did.

    I wish you luck and hope you start to improve again soon. Thats one thing i try to teach others. Stress causes pain to feel worse, so you don't need extra stress ! Xx

  • Hi Fibro,

    Thank-you for your reply - you are so right - I can really feel the stress increases my pain - it increases quite quickly when I fret over something.

    I used to meditate but, and I know this sounds wierd, I find it hard to clear my mind, even though it is foggy at the best of times, i am finding it harder and harder to reach the calm place, slow my breathing etc, but will persevere.

    *** One thing my physio pointed out, is that I display stress physically - i.e. when he is prodding me, and thought I would mention it in case this is relevant to someone else, it might help a bit......

    - I hunch my shoulders when the pain is bad, I also tense my jaw

    He said this was a stress reaction to the pain and that if I notice it I can reduce that type of stress by purposefully focusing on relaxing my jaw and to lower my shoulders ( he said to tuck my hands into trouser pockets as I have pain if i try to just let my arms hang at my sides) and to breathe in counts of 4 ( count to 4 slowly breathing in, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4 and so on) ***

    I have found this does help - but only for when I am doing that - hunching and tensing.

    For the other kinds of stress behavior such as allowing things to go round and round in my head fretting, or general worrying about how things are going to turn out, I just try my best to distract myself, but that is a bit hit and miss :-)

    I am really sorry that your workplace was enabled to discriminate against you for a disability - especially one you had when you were interviewed for the job - it is not as if it suddenly happened and they were surprised - they have no excuses, and you deserved to be treated better.

    I cannot fathom how in this day and age there is still the prevelance of false belief that someone with a disability is a burdon. Surely someone with a disability who has the skills of someone without a disability is more remarkable, as they have achieved the same in spite of physical / mental hurdles, indicating they are spiritually stronger, harder working and quite adept at overcoming obstacles?

    I do feel ever so guilty about having been away from work, not just for my workplace but for my team, but hte plan has always been to get better, to get to a stage where I can return to work fulltime, I do not want to let anyone down, but I have pushed myself as hard as I can to be at work - witht he result that I am now in much more pain.

    I think they think I am at home having a jolly, feet up watching daytime tv and having parties - I would happily swap places with them and shoe them what it is really like, just for 24 hours - I think they would runn off screaming - I know I wish I could.

  • Hi mrs Somerset sorry for delay but am a couple of days behind, I ditto every thing that everyone has said, we are all here for you, we are all in the same boat so fully understand how you re feeling, plus it helps us or me any to listen to others woes ect, so as we all say rant away, look forward to reading your posts and sending you. Gentle hug and a handful of sunshine....Dee xx

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