man walked into a Doctors office

he had a lettuce leaf sticking out of his ear!

"That's strange" said the Doctor

"You should see the rest of it " said the man

"Its only the tip of the iceberg"

Time to make us all giggle I thought so anyone got any vegetable jokes or Doctor jokes -

Don't be shy just join in for a giggle :D

18 Replies

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  • Hey gins,

    Why did the tomato go out with a prune?

    Because he couldn't find a date!

    Pip xx

  • Good morning gins! Here's one of my sons ones: docter docter I feel like a pair of curtains! We'll pull yourself together then! I know that's bad,hehe.Yours made me chuckle though xxx

  • very good gins made me chuckle :D

    Here goes.........

    What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk?

    Ketchup.

    ha ha! :o

  • I couldn't resist this one as I'd never heard/read it before :)

    Carla Carrot and Grandpa Swede are having a chat

    Carla Carrot: “Peter Parsnip beat Rudi Radish in a thumb war.”

    Grandpa Swede: “That’s a turnip for the books.”

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • Ladies, thank you for making me laugh. I desperately needed one and you all came up trumps.

    Hugs

    Jillyxx

  • oops! too many beans :O

  • Why did the tomato blush,

    Cos he saw the salad dressing -:)

  • man goes into the doctors with sponge & fruit in one ear and custard & sprinkles in the other.

    "Dr, Dr, I seem to be a trifle deaf!"

  • Sadly I only know one doctor joke and it really isn't suitable for the forum! Mind you, I have just had a good laugh at these ones.

    Hope you all well.

    Ken xxx

  • Not quite a Doctor joke but. . .

    I'm getting a turbo stairlift

    so it gets me upstairs before I forget why I'm going.

  • Love it :-)

  • What do you call a mushroom who aways insists on getting the first round in?

    A fungi to be with.

    Boom boom in the words of the revered Basil Brush xx

  • A bit late in the day with this as was in deepest Fog all day yesterday.

    Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?

    A: If you aim it well enough it might :-)

    Foggy x

  • doctor doctor, i i keep thinking i have a strawberry on my head---

    oh dont worry-- i will give you some cream to put on it!

  • I'll try this one!! Hope I don't get shouted at!!

    An elderly lady asks the doctor for something to help her husband's sex drive. 'I'll give you some tablets', said the doctor. 'Put 1 in your husband's tea each day and that should do the trick'.

    A week later the lady returned to the doctor's. 'What seems to be the problem? Didn't the tablets work?'

    'Oh yes!' said the lady, 'we were having coffee and my husband threw me over the table and made mad passionate love to me there and then! It was wonderful!'

    'So what's the problem?' asked the doctor.

    'I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again!!' the woman replied.

    XXX

  • made me chuckle ! Thanks

    xgins

  • That gives me the courage for this one . . .

    Doctor doctor can I have some sexlax

    don't you mean exlax?

    oh, I have no trouble going. . .

  • oh er mrs!

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