Have you heard the one about the girl who bought her brother a birthday cake?

She couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter to write Happy Birthday !

That was bad but wait for the rest we are going for really bad jokes,

Which dinosaur does well in exams have you got it..............Tyrannathesaurus rex!

I said they were bad any one got any?

21 Replies

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  • I thought these were old ones, but my friends hadn't heard them.

    Why couldn't the viper viper nose?

    Because the adder adder hanky.

    What lies shivering on the seabed.

    A nervous wreck.

    Why did the sand blush?

    Because the sea weed.

    Forgive me if you've heard them before

  • hehehehe! Not heard those either, really good!

    Thank you

    Ken x

  • oldies but still funny Thanks Panda for the smiles

  • What do you call a man with a seagull on his head. . . . . Cliff

  • hahahaha! Old but bloomin brilliant

    Thank you

    Ken x

  • You have no idea what you may have just unleashed - I have a terribly cheesy sense of humour....

    How do you make a sausage roll?

    - push it down the hill

    What's the fastest thing in the water?

    - a motor pike

    Doctor, doctor I feel like a biscuit

    - Don't worry you're just crackers

    How do you catch a bra?

    - With a booby trap

  • Fantastic, only heard one of them before!

    Thank you

    Ken x

  • What do you call a shy dinosaur?

    D'yethinke'saurus!

    Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

    Because there were no chickens

    Why did the one armed

    man cross the road?

    To get to the second hand shop!

  • Brilliant, not heard any of those ones!

    Thank you

    Ken x

  • OOOoooooooh!!!

    How about these.

    What do you call a man with a spade?

    Doug

    What do you call a man without a spade?

    Douglas

    I know, terrible,,...

    What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head?

    Russell

    I can hear the groans!!!!

  • hehehehehe! Really great!

    Thank you

    Ken x

  • did you hear about the gynaecologist who decorated their hall, stairs & landing through the letterbox? :D

  • I haven't heard those before and I like!

    Thank you gins x x x x

  • Did you hear about the two .....(No! Can't put that one on a thread!).

    What about the women that went to ....... (No! Can't use that one either!).

    Okay, There were four blokes standing in a ...... (Oh no! Definitely not!).

    Right, I thought everybody wrote some really good jokes!

  • Well done folks ?

  • Whats green and goes up and down ?

    A goosebury in a lift ....

  • Thanks Aura

    "whats black and white and red all over?

    A Newspaper

  • Chuckling here, some good ones. Hope this one is ok....apologies if not....

    Two little girls standing outside in the garden. One said to the other, I found a cond...m on the patiio the other day. The other girl replied....'what's a patio'. Hope I have not offended anyone.

    Tannels x

  • I have had the best tea break known to man or woman, you have all been so funny and made me laugh so much I am now sore :) Some oldies, but you know they're still funny. Keep it up, I have a long day ahead of me :)

  • How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

    I'll tell you later!

  • Go on then.

    Aw go on go on go on go on

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