I seem to be doing it a lot recently.
I must apologise as I haven't been around much of late. The holidays were a testing 2 weeks and, although I enjoyed spending time with family around, I found it very tiring. This week has been worse though. I went completely in to overdrive. I've had cats at the vets ( a 20 minute drive from here), the car in for work....it's in again today, but worst is what I did on Tuesday. After dropping my daughter off at schhol and taking the car to the garage I started walking to my parents house. I had missed the bus and they only come once an hour. This wouldn't seem so bad except they live around 7 miles from where I was. By the time I reached them I was in crippling pain, my legs barely moving. I used to do walks this size all the time before the fibro and that may have been why I did it, but I suspect I had gone in to self destruct mode. I've found that I reach a point where I'm too tired and hurt too much but am expected to keep going and going so the only way to stop is to push myself really hard.....like this. Thing is, apart from being called an idiot by family, nothing has changed. I'm still hurting, still tired, still going and going. Later I will have ti get on a bus to collect my car and my daughter from school. I have to park up a hill from the house as it's the only parking available (I kid you not, the hill is steep and going down hurts like hell on my legs).
I don't know whether I'm doing this to proove to myself I can despite the pain, or if I'm willing my body to make me stop, like maybe then people will take it seriously. Makes me sound selfish I guess. I'm a carer for my son and a single parent to both my children, not that they're children really anymore.
I don't really know where I'm going with this either now.....
Doctor is of limited help. They put up my nortriptyline to 50mg and put me back on codeine despite the side effects. I've had to stop taking them again as they cause more damage and don't make the slightest difference to the pain. *sigh*
Ok, sorry for the rant.
I'll try to be around a bit more again.