Winding down; and failing.: So, I've... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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Winding down; and failing.

Berthy profile image
12 Replies

So, I've finally finished college and actually got the grades I needed and more to get into uni :) I got DDM which is basically A, A, B in the three A level equivalent thingy I got.

the end of year show went really well and we had a really good night.

I've been signed off and everything so after the past 2 weeks of madness of people trying to complete projects etc to get their qualifications, I am in agony; naturally.

I'm trying to wind down from all the madness but it's not really working..I'm just tired no matter how little I do and how much sleep I get. Oh well.

Also does anybody else get that horrible feeling after itching something (anywhere) and it's like blinding agony, like you've just been punched really hard and there's nothing you can do but sit it out...I've been getting that increasingly more frequently lately..

But anyway, I just thought I'd drop in and say hi to anyone that bothers to read this and that I should be back on here more regularly now; hopefully :)

Take care and look after yourself.

P.S I'll attach a picture of me on the exhibition night, because it's the first time I'd worn a dress since I was a child and I felt really pretty (':

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Berthy profile image
Berthy
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12 Replies
ehlers profile image
ehlers

Well done , hope your pain settles a bit soon . I used to get that until my gabapentin was increased , what you said about itching and pain . Cheers xxx

Berthy profile image
Berthy in reply toehlers

I've had to increase my dosage of gabapentin recently as well, might go back and up it again, thank you :) xxx

wallflower_fairy profile image
wallflower_fairy

Hey!

Well it must be a relief to be finished now! Let me give some wise words, student to student ;) I feels a bit strange after the first few days, after you, you've basically just finished, but once you're a couple of days in you'll start to feel better. :)

I can understand issue with the itching, it's where your body is a reacting in a pain response after you've come into contact, in this case, scratching. I don't think my pain response is quite as prominent as yours :( it's quite uncomfortable but I can deal with it. You could maybe try skin cream? Or ice? Hope the others can give you some advice. :)

I am so pleased you got the grades you wanted and needed. :) I have to wait for mine! I need 2 As and a B too, but I have no idea, there's no possible way of telling. And it's been a tough old year. But I've made my decision. If I don't get the grades to get into the desired uni then the answer is simple. I will try again. Because I won't settle for anything less than my potential and accept their my grades. It's not ideal but it's best plan I've got.

I'm glad you're back, I've just told everyone I'm back for good. Was getting sick of myself for worrying. But I've drawn a line. Keep blogging please and I'd - and I'm sure the others would - love to see your art work.

Now listen to some music and wind down. They have all sorts of meditation music on the Youtube. :)

Beth, you look beautiful. :) (Love the hair too! ;) )

Big

********HUGS********

wanderingwallflower xx

Berthy profile image
Berthy in reply towallflower_fairy

I was actually signed off at half past 9 on Tuesday morning but decided to spend the last week in anyway, with friends I'd never see again but grew so close to over the last 2 years. So I've not REALLY been doing anything for the past week, it's just been a little manic mentally with the family etc, I'll explain through email if you want to know all the stuff that's going on, I don't want to bug people on here so they have to read it :)

Yeah, I might up my dosage of gabapentin and see if that does anything..

I haven't a doubt in my mind that you'll get your grades but I'm REALLY glad you're persevering if you don't get the ones you need, and want. It might not be ideal now, but it will be in the future, I promise :)

Yeah, I saw your blog :) I'm glad. You seem yourself again; it's good. only trouble is you can only put one picture up per blog post otherwise I'd do a blog for it :(

DO YOU SPEAK WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE - Dory off Finding Nemo. That's all I could think of then, sorry (':

Awwh thank youu ^^

Take care beautiful<3 xxxxx

wallflower_fairy profile image
wallflower_fairy in reply toBerthy

Aww that's so sweet. Same with me really. I stayed and talked to a few people. But I'm glad because I have the prom to look forward to next week. :D A few people have said we're going out after.

I understand. *Email email email!*

Thankyou. :) I sort of just came to me, it's the only answer. But if the worst comes to the worst then when I redo then I will make sure I do an even better job than the grades I'm currently predicted, just to make it extra worth it, and then get myself into a uni better than the one that may potentialy reject me! And then I felt better. Light a weight had been lifted. And anyway, hopefully it won't come to that anyway.

Yup, myself, but stronger. If it happens again, and it was horrendous, I can especially see that now I'm better, then I don't this time not to push myself to the limits and try so hard. It's as simple as that. I knew that before of course I did. But I had external pressure from others. Next time I can't allow that pressure to affect me, my health comes first. It needed to, now it's over and I can actually vocalize my symptoms better anyone can see that. I saw you comment. You know same to you, if you need anything. I can be here for you now, properly hun. You know you can tell my anything don't you all sorts of people come to me for advice, regardless of their age.

Yeah I know what you mean, it's irritating. :/ They ought to have more spaces to put pics on. You could maybe pick 2 or 3 of your best ones and do a couple of blogs? Or take a photograph of more than one canvas together and attach it on here?

Sorry, I can only speak English, and 'slanglish' (i.e. 'I is well bad innit briuv', in a posh accent so people will get into hysterics, like when we were doing accent and dialect features in English language :') oh good times.) Haha. :D It was very random indeed! Let's keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

Ahh, that's ok. :) Beth have you seen a picture of me before..I think I sent you one..like a really tired rough looking one of myself, I have a few issues when it comes to appearance. It's silly I know.

Take care yaself bubba. :)

<3 xxxxxx

Berthy profile image
Berthy in reply towallflower_fairy

Awwh, I'm really glad :) everyone went out after the exhibition and we're all organizing something soon to really say goodbye..I know I'll cry..I can't bare the thought of leaving my two closest friends in the world I just..I can't..

I'm so glad you're taking a positive told on this..I was really worried about you before; I'm relieved to say the least.

Yeah, you look back and you're SO proud of getting through that yeah? Every day I look down at my scars and smile. Because I'm above them. I'm glad, you need the inner strength to focus on getting better..I get that, I really do.

I will do :) did I like you to my art blog? That's got all my sketchbook work on there. >>> jiggy-art.tumblr.com/ feel free to have a nosy :)

That saved my old best friends life - he fell into a river last Winter and he just kept singing that to keep swimming and it saved his life! It's amazing what little things like that can do for a person<3

I have, and you're beautiful so don't try to convince me of otherwise :)

And you<3 xxxxx

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b

I agree with al that's been said.

Well done! and you are pretty , you look lovely in a dress and your hair is great!

as for itching, I gently skim the itchy bits with a slightly rough towel.

sandra..

Berthy profile image
Berthy in reply tohamble99b

Awwh thank you very much, I don't agree with you personally but thank you :) I do love my hair but it isn't half a pain to keep it this colour!

I've been resorting to that recently as well I just guess it's a matter of retraining your brain..I'll do it though :)

Beth.

Amanda profile image
Amanda

I had to get GP to up my Gabapentin this week as well as I was in agony with burning ,especially my feet and legs.I started increasing the night dose this week ,next week the breakfast and night then all the doses the next week.I am already noticing the difference,it's bliss! My GP said it was going to be a very high dose.I'm trying to stop having to go on to morphine until absolutely necessary so I am upping gabapentin and I have 2 extra 50mg Tramadol for if absolutely necessary.Also loving the hair.wish I was brave enough! x

Berthy profile image
Berthy in reply toAmanda

Yeah, I've just had a lot of bad news as well on top of the pain with fibro at the moment. But that at least means I'm going to the doctors soon so I'll talk about getting it upped as well. And getting something stronger; like the tramadol. I really need it now. Awwh thank you :) Aha I've had crazy hair since I was about 15, I was always getting into trouble at school, being put isolation until I was prepared to change my hair colour; which never happened xD

But my hair is my way of expressing myself, I love it :)

tulips123 profile image
tulips123

Congrats on your exams! I'm not surprised your suffering now, sure it will all calm down soon.

Great photo! Tulip :)

Berthy profile image
Berthy in reply totulips123

Awwh thank you SO much :)

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