The curse of the self help book

How do you guys feel about them? I can honestly say my experience has not been good. I first read "feel the fear and do it anyway" 16 years ago when I had post natal depression. I took them so seriously and really beat my self up if I couldn't do what they suggested. I've got a bit addicted to them over the years but the result has been the same every time I get myself I nto a right tizz. The trouble with them is they aren't made for an individual which we all are. I know people say to take what you need from them but being a bloody perfectionist I find that so hard. I even started reading one on Monday the day I had my awful panic attack,I just can't cope with them at all. Time to through them in the bin? What is everyone's opinion on them? Have you read any or do you keep well away?

14 Replies

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  • can't say i've heard of them myself,the title puts me right off,who writes all of these ,it's all in the mind type books.No i won't go near it or anything else like it,i feel i have a strong mind and attitude,well not so good as used to be,even so i hate preachers and do gooders trying to get into your mind it's like saying go and see a hypnotherapist and it will all go away,so no won't read any.Have i gone off the beaten track?jacksiex

  • Lol I got the idiots guide to fibromyalgia or some such title... Written to help us fibromites get through the day..... I have never laughed so much in ages... The quick 5 min tidy up that the author suggested before guests arrived was more than I do In a week , getting on your hands and knees to ruffle up a rug... not sure how i would get down or up, the guests would have to let themselves in then haul me off the floor, and making your own cleaning products...... Well it would involve a trip out to the shops then time spent making them I could have done the cleaning in half the time well the way I clean.... And it was written in the language used to speak to a small child.

    I laughed till I cried, so it was worth buying it for the comedy alone.... I wrote that on the review when the online store I bought it from asked me to review it.... Am expecting hate email from the author anyday now

    Pulls on her disguise incase

    VG 8-)

  • Self help is fine as long as you wrote it, I mean everyone is different, what works for one may not work for another. I no longer read those books as we are all walking our own path and we all know our limitations and what we can do. Every day is a new chapter in our lives, the day changes and we change.

    For once everything is about us and our survival, we are no good to anyone or anything until we are good for us.........................that my friends is self help and we are the book waiting to be written.

  • Put 'em all in the bin! They are written for one reason only - to make money for the author!

    You'll do alright if someone comes and helps you - there's a limit to what you can do all on your own.

    Hope you're feeling a bit better ...Love Moffy xxxxxx

  • If a book says self help I go right past it. Just a money making scheme if you ask me hun. You can get more tips and learn more on this site alone than any book can proffer. If you throw then away good on you xxxxxx

  • The only 'Self Help' books I have ever used are the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and other AA publications, which I got when I joined them 22 years ago, and I just celebrated my 22nd SOBER CHRISTMAS!!!

    Miracles do happen, I sure feel blessed to have such great friends all over the world who are there for me 24/7 if I need them. Here's to my 23rd year in recovery BRING IT ON!!!!!

  • Oh well done xxx one day at a time xxx

  • That is great and gives me reasurance that Sobriety can be achvied, my husband has been sober for 8 months now, We had the best Christmas and New Year, as he was sober , joining in with the fun and laughter, instead of getting drunk and being rude to everyone .....

  • well done!

  • Personally having read a huge selection of these books it is my opinion that the only person they help is the author to make money. Leave them on the shelves and talk to mates or fibroers it is far kinder to yourself x

  • That comment makes it clear that you are NOT an alcoholic, we're used to this kind of misunderstanding from people who will never understand unless they have been there, much the same ass people will never understand fibro unless they have it themselves, which is why we need to follow the 12-step programme and talk to others who totally understand.

    As foir making money for the authors, I am guessing you have bought from Amazon or some other 'self help' bookseller, who obtain the AA literature at the priuce it REALLY is then treble the price to sell it on.

  • I read the 12 step books from alanon. Beyond that I feel too much navel gazing can actually make us more sick. We are who we are. We can change what we don't like and celebrate all that we are happy with. We can't control people places or things so letting go of what we can't change is the way to go for me . With self help, it's too easy to concentrate on all that is negative....and completely lose the fact that we are all perfect just as we are. God doesn't make mistakes.

    Serenity for me is about finding the balance and being grateful for the little things. There's a handy saying in alanon

    Progress not perfection....

  • I found Dr Phil McGraw talks a lot of sense but he says his books are a guide not a bible.

    A lot of people rate Dr Claire Weekes [sp?]

    we're all different and I tend to take in little bits from many sources.

    sandra.

  • Yep, whatecver floats yer boat I say - I also read other non-AA literature which is helpful, but I am very pro-AA, since nothing else I ever tried before getting to AA worked, and the only way for me was suicide, which I did attempt 3 times, but thank God, I found out about AA when I did. It's doesn't work for everyone (what does??) but for those of us who it DOES work for, it works very well.

    Also to cut costs, the literature is available to read for free online

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