Do you ever get fed up of having no life?!

Sorry in advance for having a bit of a moan!

I feel life is just passing me by.... It's a sunny bank holiday saturday and I feel I should be out partying, or at least doing SOMETHING like most normal 20 somethings...

Instead I am stuck in alone- not even seeing my OH as I have laringitis and don't want him to catch it :(

Even when I'm 'better' I feel all I do is go to work, come home and sleep, and weekends are just for catching up on sleep, and usually staying in watching a dvd with my OH as I'm too tired/in too much pain to go anywhere.

If I ever do try to have a day or night out, it usually results in me being off sick the following week!

How do you get over this feeling that life is passing you by when you're so young and should be out living it?! :(

10 Replies

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  • A trouble shared is a trouble halved so I hope you're feeling a bit better by now. I understand where you're coming from although I am twice your age. I know there is so much other people my age and older are achieving that I never will now. My daughter and her family are in Mauritius visiting her partner's family at the moment. At least you have had sunshine today, we've had rain all day.

  • If you are feeling like this most of the time, I think you need to look at your life and see if there is any way you can change things to make life better. Are you one the right medication? Is there any possibility you could cut your work hours? Manage with a part time or job share job? If you do have to work full time, get someone in to do your cleaning/ironing, worth every penny you pay out. When you feel really exhausted, get your gp to sign you off, I hope you have explained to your boss and you're not struggling with work when maybe they could make things easier there. When the weather is fine, do go our with OH even for an hour, maybe not partying but just enjoying the sun and nature somewhere nice, go for a meal - somewhere quiet and cosy. Have you got a warm pool you can get to? Have you had advice and help from agencies, physio, O.T. I am nearly 70 and have suffered with fibro for 11 years, not what I thought my retirement would be like, I live alone, I have a wonderful dog who makes me go out each day, short walks or drive to the park. We all move slowly with this condition but at least we have time to notice the wonderful things in life too instead of rushing through life missing so much as many others do. I suggest too you keep a journal and write at least one good thing you have experienced each day, more if poss. but also write out your thoughts whatever they be about how you feel.

    Gentle hugs, and I do feel for you, being so young to have to learn to manage this in your life.

  • Hi Phoenix,

    I feel for your. Fibro hit me when I was 53 and had done the partying. But don't give up. Look again at your meds, at your diagnosis. Question your doctor, research on the internet. I was told to go away and live with fibro and manage it 2 years ago. I refused to accept that that was all that I could do. My trail led me to an endocrinologist who diagnosed me with Hashimotos thyroiditis (even though my thyroid had been tested numerous times and I was told it was normal by the doctors). I now have my energy back but am still aching. I know this isn't the answer for everyone but all I am saying is question.

    Enough of me though. As Lizziewizz says, keep a diary, try to do one thing a day, and on sunny days do get out even if it is for a picnic or to sleep in the sun. I found the outdoors was my saviour, kept me sane. I've driven to the beach with tears streaming down my face because I felt so awful and sat there and slowly I've started to feel better in myself, my mood. I've sat outside wrapped up reading my book.

    What about staying in, eating a take away but dressing up for a candlelit dinner. Just make every event special especially with your OH.

    Think of the positives in your life. You are managing to work, you have an OH. Make a list of small outings you would like to make, something that lasts an hour or two. Tick them off as you do them. Ticking off a list gives you a wonderful sense of achievement.

    I wish you all the best for your future, I know its difficult but try and stay positive. There is hope and in time you will feel a little better and hopefully one day you may find the answer to help you bounce back to health. My theory is that the body does not just shut down, there has to be a reason, something caused it. Find the cause and you can then find the treatment.

    Take care and lots of gentle hugs

    Lizzie

  • Hi Phoenix I was 25 when I got diagnosed .... Suddenly I was not me... I couldn't do swimming play tennis go running....I battled for a year getting fatter and fed up when my GP found co dydramol for me it took away the pain at the time and I found out what I could and couldn't do and I changed jobs met my OH and had a child.... Unfortunately when he was three it came back worse and I had to give up work... We sold the house and moved to a smaller one ... Life has been different to what I planned I am 48 now , but even on bad days I still like my life and the way it turned out.... Just do what has to be done and ignore the rest , don't be afraid to say no to things you know will make you feel bad

    Vg x

  • hi phoenix,sorry to here that you are having a bad time at the moment,hope things pick up for you soon,i know how you feel, i dont get out much and will be 34 next week,i live alone now which i am not use to{its been 6 months now} i also have mental health condition borderline personality disorder{bpd} my children have been taken from me by social services,{long story} mainly because of bpd,and do think i am capable of being a good mother.they are in long term foster care.,dont feel bad if you sometimes dont feel up to much,we are all in the same boat,i try to set small goals for myself and then you dont feel bad if you cant always do things,and it is good when you can! marianne p x

  • I totally understand your feelings of isolation, i feel so lonely in a world i don't belong. I see no-one but my husband, my family are too wrapped up in their own lives to even take an hour out to come and visit me . I can't go out unless my husband takes me as i cannot walk outside of weight bare for long periods so i have to use a wheelchair. I feel as if i've been robbed of my life and the me that was is now no more , all i do is take my meds and sleep or watch tv for short periods of time.

    sorry that this is turning into a moan too

    hope at least knowing that you are not alone helps a little

    gentle hugs, Kira x

  • What you said Phoenix rang a bell with me. I have three disabled kids and have had one night 'off' in 4 years, my husband finally offered me a night away this weekend, and I could not take him up on it as feel to ill to cope. Feeling a bit sorry for myself today. I seem to spend more and more weekends especially sunday unable to do much at all, feeling frustrated as if i do what is right for me (not very much) then its not right for husband / kids. Feel permantely guilty which I know is a fruitless emotion. Sorry not being very encouraging but I do really understand that feeling of having just enough energy to work do chores that have to be done and nothing left for anything fun. I suppose I have to lower my sights on fun and aim lower but that in itself seems a bit sad. All the best and think some have written and made some good comments above, like getting outside. Perhaps I will give this a go and sit in the garden if I can find a spare moment.

    best wishes xx

  • Yes i feel like this often- and i think sometime its fine to have a moan- its a horrible illness. 43 and my partying days are over, quite possibly all the drinking and drugging contributed to my poor healtg now. Ii have a 14yr old boy and i work but apart from that i just sleep and the only time i meet other people are my 12 step meetings- just this morning i was sharing how low i felt and isolated by this horrid disease, but what i know thru experience is the feelings pass especially when i kearn to accept my limitations and know that the sad feelings will pass. They always do. Hang on there.

  • I wish that I could be a ray of sunshine for you but I am in the same place as many others Kira could well have written her coments for me.

    I do hope that you do find a way through all this I was first diagnosed with CVFS in the 80's and have had some good years in between,but this last year I am so bad I use a scooter as I cannot walk.

    Best wishes and Rainbow Hugs <3 (((((((((((((((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • Thank you everyone for your kind words and hugs, appologies for not replying sooner- the lap top was packed away with moving back to my parents.

    Unfortunately since my last posting I've been dumped so I no longer have an OH, which is making things even more difficult :(

    I've had arthritis since I was 8, Crohn's since I was 15, and Fibromyalgia since early twenties, so I guess I should be used to not having much of a life by now, but occasionally it does get me down!

    Gentle hugs to everyone xx

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