IVF with donor eggs

[Jana77]

Hi

We’ve had two failed ivf cycles and the consultant told us I’ve only got a 5% chance of getting pregnant with my own eggs. I was absolutely devastated but now we are in the process of looking into donor eggs (with ivi in Spain).

Does anyone have experience of this? Do you know if any of my dna will pass onto the baby at all? How do they match you with a donor - they say they have the largest bank of eggs worldwide and have a computer program that matches you - but that seems so clinical.

Sorry so many questions, it all just feels overwhelming. Thank you x

[Becca21]

Hi Jana, sorry to hear about your failed IVF! We're practically on the same boat. I'm considering donor conception too... rather on whether to go with my sis as donor who is willing to help me out with this passing of some of the common characteristics to the baby or to move on to a selected donor with maximum match trying to keep it all strictly under legal contract. Feel free to follow my post on the same in case that helps you with some useful information as well!

[Jana77 in reply to Becca21]

Thanks so much! Just had a look at your post and there’s heaps of useful info. It’s just all so daunting I’d kind of gone into denial a bit, but this has helped me feel more positive. Thank you and good luck! X

[Becca21 in reply to Jana77]

You're welcome! BTW no DNA matching is possible... that's something very unique for each individual and even if you find a donor within the family some genetic traits can be passed on but not DNA. No two DNA can possibly match without direct biological linking.

[Cinderella5]

I cant comment on your clinic and how they do their matching. My clinic asked for our physical details, height, weight, build, hair/eye colours, skin complexion, hobbies, blood type and anything else we felt was important and then photos of both of us and the midwife for the clinic goes through your matches and picks the most suitable match. It is beleived that some information is passed on - as it is your body that will grow and supply your baby with all the nutrients during the pregnancy. The most important thing I felt is the way a baby is nurtured is the biggest effect on how a child grows up and you will be the one deciding on that! Best of luck with it all!xx

[Becca21 in reply to Cinderella5]

They try to find a donor with a similar physical appearance as much as possible.... that way the might just have some similarities to the recipient mother. I did some digging and came up with the information that they use both current and childhood photos of the recipient as well as the donor in some clinics for profile matching.... do you have any experience with that? Other things I guess includes blood group, RH factors etc that need to match for a good clinical linking for the whole donor conception process.

[Cinderella5 in reply to Becca21]

No can't say that mine use pics of as as kids. Yeah the blood group is matched!xx

[Becca21 in reply to Cinderella5]

Blood group is a must.... to make sure the Rh factor does not interfere. As you know different clinics try different variables for matching and that often adds 1-2 extra requisites in their list. My clinic did ask for pictures if I'm to opt for their donors, it did startle me a bit too and am already a skeptical person.... but then the representative explained that as they have a huge list of donor archive they prioritise the physical appearance more. As per her, even if there's an older sibling they would consider her pic for the donor matching and that the childhood picture of me/my baby (if I have any) will further give them information about certain visible facial traits that only children bear.... like the freckles. Luckily, I did have some freckles as a child... so when they find a match (if we go for the donor) and all is done I'll be able to evaluate if those were just B2C talks or were actually implemented to make my baby look more like me. Awaiting some test result of my sis (so far all we know is she has the right age and same blood group) to confirm... if we're going with her or need my clinic to do donor matching.

[Cora87]

Hi Jana. How are you doing? Well, I'm a little closer to that. I'm also in the process of having an IVF at a clinic in Ukraine. I was also pretty worried about it. But, I'm using my own eggs. Secondly, I have a friend she got donated her eggs from someone. So, yeah! It was in the agency's database. Usually, it's related to DNA and genetical confirmations. I guess so! But, I also have had too many questions...But, I actually had someone with me. My husband's colleague wife. She has had an IVF there. So, I am a little bit familiar and confident with my situation...But, I am also same tensed and curious with you. More importantly, I am waiting for my orientation dates. Let's see how it goes! Stay blessed!

[DC13]

Hi Jana

Yes I have had experience of this after 6 failed rounds. I too went for DE in Spain.

PM me with questions that I can help you with.

It is my understanding that genetic material is carried to the mother during pregnancy.

They will match some characteristics but in Spain you will not have any choice and they will select a donor. We had to supply digital photos and provide information on things like eye colour, hair colour, BMI. Height. We basically had to give them 4 or 5 things that were important on our wish lists but they could not guarantee everything e.g. blood group, education level.

The clinic will walk you though this.

PM if I can help more.

[Dunla]

Hi, we have recently moved to treatment with donor eggs too. It’s a difficult process but I’m sure the clinic you’re looking into will have a tried and tested pathway which you can follow with hopefully as little stress as possible. I had a similar experience to Cinderella in terms of how a donor match is arrived at. I also believe that whilst there may not be ever be a genetic link between my baby and I, they will be very much a part of me. I think nurture has a big part to play and can outweigh nature. Google epigenetics, there are some interesting articles on the part the donor recipient plays. Wishing you the very best of luck for the future and your decision making xx

[LorrieWalden]

Heyya. I hope that you're doing good. Well, I'm really sorry for your failed IVF cycles. Today, the family is the most important thing. Everyone desires to have one. It's the ultimate goal of every couple actually. And it is so heartbreaking that you can't have one on your own. Plus you failed two IVF cycles too. It must be a very hard thing for you. You're really very strong that you're going through this. You're an example of hope to every woman here. Secondly yes donor eggs can help you. They're the only way of you getting conceived now. Plus any woman going to do such a thing would have such questions in her mind. You have a lesser chance of getting conceived with your eggs but you're still producing them. So they will just collect a sample and match them in their bank through the essential reports. It's not something horrible or painful. Their computer program will match you on the basis of your reports. So don't worry and don't stress about it. There are many success stories on this type of IVF too. And whatever happens, happens for a reason. So calm down. And hope for the best. I wish that the future brings the best to you. Take care of yourself. Much love.

[Bekka6767]

Aww, I am so sorry to hear about your failed IVF. It happens to many people. You really don't have to get sad about it. Be thankful that there is a solution to your problem. Having poor eggs is not that big of an issue these days. Your consultant must have told you how to get donor eggs. There is a whole procedure for choosing of the eggs. They will collect maximum information about you e.g. your height, weight, etc. When all the necessary information is collected they will look for a donor with the most similar characteristics to you. This way you will get to have a baby just like you. Other than that, the baby is going to grow up in your womb. All the basic necessities for bringing it to life would be given by you. That is what matters the most. This was the baby will naturally get to be like you. Do not be worried at all about it. After spending 9 months in your womb it will adopt your characteristics rather than the donor's characteristics.