Hi everyone. I have 1 wonderful little boy who just turned 3. We were very lucky to have him from our first cycle of IVF back in 2015. Unfortunately since then I've had a lot of problems (I have severe endo) and ended up losing an ovary and tube.
Anyway long story short, we wanted to try again for another baby a few months back but my AMH came back as very low.
Consultant has said if we were to try again using my own eggs there's less than 10% chance of even getting anything at egg collection. They started talking to us about using an egg donor which I am by no means against & very open to the idea.
However I'm struggling to get past the idea that there is still a chance (no matter how small) that I could still have a baby using my own eggs. Does anyone have any experience of anything similar to this? Anyone have any success stories from being told your chances were so low? Also has anybody used donor eggs and have any experiences you would be willing to share? Thanks xx
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Jojo1986
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Hello, sorry to hear about all your problems, this journey is so very tough!
We are using donor eggs, it took me a while to get my head around it and I went through a grieving process of not being able to use my own eggs but after coming to terms with it I have never looked back. Our desire to have a family is far greater then having that genetic link to me. If you have any questions, not saying I'm an expert or anything!!! Then please don't hesitate to ask, all the very best to you xxx
I have had 3 unsuccessful IVF cycles using my own eggs and came to a point where it takes its toll. It's personal and individual to everyone for when the time is right to move on and try something new. It is more important to have a family for us and to start living with our family and the thought of going on and on with not a lot of chance of it being successful swayed us to us donor eggs. It took me a while to come to terms with it and counseling really helped.
The nerves and the worry about not bonding that I experienced is so normal. But I can honestly say that the three embryos I have on ice in Spain feel like mine. The focus isn't so much on the DNA but are they ok? Will they thaw? and just thoughts of hopefully it working and how pregnancy will feel. So good luck to you in what you decide, and wish me luck for my transfer on Tuesday xx
Hello
I had 3x unsuccessful attempts with my own eggs. I readily moved to donor eggs after my last failed cycle was abandoned due to lack of response.
We also decided to go abroad for this treatment - mostly due to it being quicker, but also a little bit as it's an excuse for a wee holiday and makes the process therefore a little magical again with time for just me and OH.
The process is so much smoother too with a lot less drugs and no ec for you.
Hi Jojo. I was told the same sort of odds or perhaps only 5% odds after I had a failed egg collection using the highest dose of menopur.
We thought it through and decided to move to using donor eggs. We were lucky that they harvested lots of eggs from our donor and we had 10 top grade embryos. We had one transferred but it didn't work. I thought it would never work but then we tried again and got pregnant with twins who were born in May. We couldnt be happier. I love them so much. It took about 1.5 years from when we first went to see about using donor eggs. I don't think I could have gone through much more heart break so it was definitely the right decision for us.
I moved to donor egg after 1 failed attempt and never looked back. Was paying out of pocket so on that basis it was an easy decision to make. I still struggle and grieve sometimes but I am much happier with my decision to use donor egg.
You have to be ready, feel like you're done with using your own eggs.
We didn't move on until we had several cycles using my wife's own egg's and felt we had tried everything. I was willing to keep going, but my wife was done. You have to allow space to grieve over that, counselling was really helpful. When you first feel your child kick inside you, it made all our concerns seems so trivial.
I’m so so lucky to be able to say that I’ve had 2 children naturally, 25 years apart! So I desperately want a sibling for my 4 year old. We tried for 2 years naturally and I went into the menopause. 1 year sorting donor out then just in just 6 months I lost my mum, had a miscarriage, another failed IVF then miscarried twins. We shared the donor eggs with another couple getting 5 A grade eggs each. The donor was 23, which is younger than my oldest child! Spent thousands and thousands with no success whatsoever. We were totally gutted. We are seeing about adoption now. Good luck with what you decide and I hope you have success on your journey 💕
I am so pleased I made the decision to use donor embryo, I am over 40 so I know there is a better chance the baby will be healthier with a donor and success rate was higher than if I used my own egg. I went abroad so it was also so much cheaper and less waiting time. I am now 10 weeks pregnant and as far as I am concerned this baby is mine genetics or not. I also made the decision not to tell family or friends that it is a donor embryo. Take time to think about your decision and the implications of donor or not and what is best for you.
I’ve had 3 cycles of IVF using my own eggs and fell pregnant each time (never fallen naturally) but sadly miscarried every time. On paper my eggs were fine, well in terms of quantity as of course there is no test for quality. But when it came to the treatment I produced very low numbers of eggs, despite my blood tests showing this should not be a problem. No one has ever told me my eggs are bad, that there’s an issue, that we should use donor eggs - but we came to this conclusion ourselves. Having exhausted our NHS funding we could only afford one cycle ourselves so decided donor eggs would be the best chance. I am now 27 weeks pregnant!! We also have 6 more embryos in the freezer should we want to try for a sibling. I say go for it! xx
I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles, Jojo! ☹ I had 4 heartbreaking IVF cycles using my own eggs before trying DEIVF… it was a difficult decision to say enough was enough. This journey isn’t for everyone, that’s for sure… but I’m glad I didn’t disregard using donor eggs. The clinic staff went above and beyond for us, making sure we knew everything going into the procedure. I’m forever grateful to our donor – we chose an Open ID donor from donoreggbankusa.com and had her eggs shipped to our clinic no problem. The transfer went without a hitch and the rest is (thankfully) history.
My twins will be a year old in March! 😊 We love them to pieces.
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