Our 4th cycle went so well initially (16 eggs, 13 mature and 9 embryos) and we were so hopeful. IVF is so cruel. All but 4 embryos stopped growing by day 5. But we still had hope! Then 3 of our blastocysts stopped growing at day 6 before they reached expanded blastocyst for PGS testing. But we still had hope..
And then we found out yesterday that our lovely 5BB frozen embryo is abnormal. Trisomy 11 and non viable.
We’re absolutely gutted.
We threw everything at this round but it seems that my egg quality is terrible.
I don’t think financially or emotionally we’ve got it in us to try again.
Can anyone recommend a clinic abroad that does donor egg treatment? We’ve looked into clinics in the UK but would like to explore the abroad option.
And stories of hope and happy ever after would be hugely appreciated! I feel such sadness and a sense of failure 😢😭😢
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JenRoy
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No, no, no it breaks my heart to read the tone of this message. You are not a failure and your egg quality is not terrible- it just might not be quite up to the very vigorous criteria of creating a viable embryo. Believe me I know as our last round we didn’t get any viable embryos. I hate it that women blame themselves (and I’ve been there too) as IVF is so stressful as it is. It’s just such an emotionally exhausting journey. There are lots of women on here that have used DE and I know they will be able to reassure you and give you guidance. Sending you big hugs 🤗 xx
So sorry to read this - we are at the end of the road with our own eggs too after 6 rounds and a number of chemicals and miscarriages.. just been told its old eggs that are rubbish which makes me so upset as still have a decent AMH and I want to scream that its not my fault I met 'the one' later in life. Wanted to send you a virtual hug, it sucks xx
Big hugs xxxx it’s not your fault, you’re not rubbish, and the donor egg route is an amazing option and it’s fabulous that you have that as your next step. I’m so sorry it’s not worked out for you yet...but please keep positive - a friend of mine had 4 failed rounds and a miscarriage then went to donor eggs and straight away got pregnant and has a gorgeous daughter then got pregnant again with the second embryo from the same round of donor ivf ❤️
I'm in the same boat. Good AMH, 19 eggs the first round, 25 eggs on the second, 4 made it to blastocyst, 1 didn't survive the thaw, 1 transferred first time, 2 the second and nothing. I found out last week and have to make the painful decision to try again or opt for a donor. It's awful and so upsetting, so I feel your pain.
I have two friends who have used different clinics in Spain and both got pregnant first time and have healthy children. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to give the name of the clinics on here though?
Hi, I am really sorry to here what a difficult journey you have been through so far. I am currently going through the donor egg route abroad and will happily share with you my clinic details if you want me too. I think the most important thing when moving on to donor eggs is to give yourself some time to process the loss of using your own eggs then work out what is important to you in relation to the donor route eg ID release at 18, how much information you want about your donor. Each country has different laws so although a little overwhelming when choosing which clinic to go with, doing some research is important. The donor conception network is helpful and I have found defining mum on Instagram really helpful and path to parenthub webinars very good. I wish you well in the next steps in your journey.
Hey Nic, I’d be super interested in you sharing your clinic research please. Just going through the checking out donor egg clinic options aboard, it’s so overwhelming. Thank you x
Thank you 😘. I’ve been looking into DE for the past 6 months, ever since our 3rd round failed. I had a strong instinct we’d be heading this route. I joined DCN in December and have been reading as much as possible. I’m very torn between UK & ID release vs abroad. I can see both sides but at the moment feel going abroad is better for us. I also am incredibly lucky to have a 2 yr old via OE IVF in 2018. I feel so guilty for wanting another child so badly. Obviously worried about impact of DE on her too. I’d love to hear about your experience with your clinic.
My current clinic doesn’t do DE. Both my previous clinics do, one via U.K. donors and other via donors in Spain.
Or we may look elsewhere. Don’t know where to start! But will definitely take our time to grieve this last cycle xx
Hey Jen, I’ve just turned 44 and have been TTC for a couple of years now. Like Daisy said, met the one later in life. Was going to try my own eggs but was told that it wouldn’t really be worthwhile and feel that time isn’t on our side so am looking at the donor eggs option. Have heard of a few good clinics in Spain and Greece. Have chatted to one in Greece that I can send you the details for. The chap I’ve had 2 zoom sessions with is really lovely. Good luck in your next steps xx
Try IVI Valencia. I struggled with my own eggs not even managing to get to egg collection. Each cycle trying to remain hopeful. Each cycle leaving the ultra sound room with hopes dashed. It took a while to come around to the idea of donar eggs. After three failed attempts trying with my own eggs. I was introduced to IVI. IVI offer donar services and have a london clinic for follow up. They were so kind and personal. I had experiences at other clinics, where it felt far less personal which added to the stress. Good luck Xx
I’m so sorry you are in this situation, it is awful.. I would be interested in any replies re going abroad for DE treatment, particularly in Covid times & how it works with doing scans etc in the Uk, how many trips you need to take etc. I like the idea that donors are anonymous abroad it seems.
Hi Jen, I'm so sorry to hear about your last cycle. There's no describing the despair you feel when the realisation of DE is the way forward even if you are half expecting it, it's hard!😕 However with DE there is still hope and that was what pushed us on. We went to Athens for logistical reasons (flights all year), sun, relaxation, no waiting lists for donors, good matching and costs. I'll PM you some details of where we went. I must say once you accept that you are doing DE it's so much easier on the body, I'm pregnant and it couldn't be the thing furthest from my mind....these babies are ours and we are so happy to have the opportunity to be parents....finally!! Massive hugs, it's a shitty time for you!xxx
Hey Jen. So sorry to hear all you’ve been through. My husband and I are on a very similar boat. Fourth round of ICSI. Always have loads of embryos on day 3 but by day 5 most have stopped developing. We’ve never managed to get any to day 6 good enough quality for PGS.
Just wondering if your other half has had his sperm tested fro DNA fragmentation? I’ve been reading a lot about it and hearing very similar stories to ours about poor embryo development and doctors always assume it’s an egg quality issue.
Thanks for your reply. We’ve not had it done as our consultant said there’s no need. We had a successful cycle in 2018 with my daughter. And we did PGS this time. My husband has never smoked, doesn’t drink and has taken anti oxidant supplements for the past 9 months. I think it’s just my age (42) as my AMH was fine in 2018 but dropped a lot by 2020.
Really sorry to hear this. May I ask how old you are and whether you take supplements? Also, as mentioned by Kurst Bridge, whether sperm has been tested?
42. I took loads of supplements for our last cycle - DHEA, Ubiquinol, Growth Hormone, Omega 3, Zita West supplements, Melatonin and Nicotinamide. All advised by my consultant.
Sperm not tested for DNA frag as we’ve had a successful cycle in 2018. My AMH was good then and is now low. We’ve done ICSI the last 2 cycles.
Hi, I’ve had 2 failed cycles , no eggs to collect! Can I ask why those of you considering DE are thinking of going abroad? Why not use a clinic in Uk? I’d be interested to know as I haven’t started researching it yet , still upset that I can’t use my own egg .
I’ve looked into clinics in the U.K. and the things that put me off are waiting times, cost and general customer experience. Our current clinic is really great but our previous two weren’t as supportive. A bit impersonal. Sadly our clinic doesn’t do DE treatment.
You can use donor egg agencies (Altrui, New Life) to help you find a donor but that’s an extra £3K to 4K and they only work with certain clinics.
My previous clinic works with a clinic in Spain.
Also, many of the U.K. clinics that do DE treatment have almost empty egg banks at the moment due to lack of donors so the waiting times are really long!
The only plus points for using a U.K. donor is ID release when the child is 18. For some people this is an absolutely key thing. But if you’re happy with an anonymous donor, then going abroad makes sense.
Same here. Put our all into this round (4th try) and just got 2 to transfer. My clinic sadly doesn't do PGS testing so couldn't even find out if ok or not we had to take chance. i'm debating trying elsewhere that does test for piece of mind (expensive piece of mind) or go DE route (which i'm more that happy to do after researching). We are also thinking abroad rather than UK clinic. I don't think i have it in my either to try again with my eggs and go through the heartache.Please don't feel a failure - i've called myself this many times. It's just age and nature and it sucks.
I am convinced mine stopped growing as they were slow and hadn't got to blastocyst stage, i've been told that you can't tell what happened and that is hard - not knowing.
Hi everyone, I’ve been embryo banking and have a few blastocysts however if they do not work we may consider DE’s as I don’t think I want to put myself through the treatment again due to my complicated medical history. Would any of you that have done or are doing DE’s mind PM’ing me and sending me any info about your clinic, time lines and costs? Thanks in advance x
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