When to move to donor eggs?

[Heichi26]

Hi everyone,

I’m on my third cycle of IVF with my own eggs. I have pretty low AMH (9) and although I’ve had 10 eggs from cycle 1&2 just one embryo that tested abnormal, so quality is an issue too.

no probs with my partner.

My third cycle is following a similar path to the last one; small number of follicles growing (3-4), despite trying a different protocol.

I Has anyone had any advice on when to stop trying with your own eggs , and to move to donor eggs? I feel it’s the sensible next step, and that it would be good for me to have something to focus on if this round goes the way I think it will… but moving to donor is an emotional hurdle to get over. All positive stories about donor eggs and how you reached that decision most welcome.

Thank you 🙏🙏

[Boo718]

hello. Hope you are ok. We had to go down the donor route. After a number of rounds of our own (I have low amh) we hardly got any embryos most weren’t transferable and the ones that were resulted in bfn or chemical, We did pgd tests and they came back normal but they were poor quality. So we sat down together and made the decision that we wanted children so what’s the next step. We move don to donor I am now 31 weeks and honestly haven’t looked back. We are excited to move on to the next stage of our lives and we love this little one sooo much. To be honest I mostly forget it’s donor. U will know when the time is right for you xxx

[Heichi26 in reply to Boo718]

that’s really helpful, thank you. What wonderful news for you both I wish you all the very best for the last stage of your pregnancy 💗. I think I’m moving in that direction, but scared of feeling differently with donor eggs although everything I’ve read says you don’t, and also as I’ve no children I’ve no comparator , so what would “differently” mean?! I get preoccupied on who I would tell and if my family would view the child differently.. I know I’m over thinking and perhaps dwelling on the wrong things so your positivity has been really helpful. Thank you 🙏

[Boo718 in reply to Heichi26]

we have chosen to say nothing to anyone at the moment. Not even our parents. Tbh it’s no one else’s business. Down the line we will work it out and I’m sure u guys will too. The love even though it’s donor is real xxx

[Jjleo]

Hi I had an AMH of 2 at 29. We only got 4 eggs from my cycle and only 2 fertilised with ICSI but were of a high quality I had both implanted at day 3 and my little twins are 10 months old now. I'm not sure if my age played a part too with good quality but I 100% believe that the supplements we were on for the 4-5 months prior to our cycle did it for us. I followed the supplement guide in the book it start with the egg for diminished ovarian reserve and took everything they suggested to improve quality and made my partner take supplements to for enhanced sperm quality. We were really lucky for it to work on out first cycle but I don't think it would have if we had not taken the supplements. My partners sperm was 6% motility when he was tested - average is 30% so he was really bad but on the day of my egg retrieval when he gave his sample his motility had raised to over 40 so we couldn't believe it. I would give a try first prior to donor eggs if you've not already. I wish you the best of luck in your journey xx

[Heichi26 in reply to Jjleo]

thanks! I’m taking every supplement going, and have been for over a year, so hopefully that’ll stand by me. If not, and the results of round 3 are the same I think we will need to have a long hard think about donors.

That’s such good news about your twins.💗

[Icsi_Wincy_Spider]

Hi Heichi26 , i would keep going with your own eggs for now. i did 4 rounds, round 3 gave us ZERO embryos and i almost gave up but consultant persuaded us to persevere with my own eggs.... next round (4) we got 9 eggs, 4 embryos and 2 euploids. I understand why you may consider donor at this stage tho, but i'd try a few more rounds if u can afford it (and emotionally) 😘😘

[Dinfertilitylady]

Hi 😊 I think the decision to move to donor is very personal & everyone is different. Some will move after a couple of OE rounds, some will try 10 or so times before moving on. It all depends how much financial & emotional capacity you have, alongside time/age. I have heard it can take several months to a year to be fully on board with the process (I’ve been looking at it since Jan & am not there yet) but the absolute best place to start is the Donor Conception Network. They are a charity which have loads of support & resources

[Tir-26]

We had two rounds of IVF with my eggs in UK, I had no eggs to transfer at days 3-5 at 36 years old. I was heartbroken following our final consultation but we moved on quite quickly to the donor route and I haven’t looked back. Our Dr said I had no reserves and encouraged us to look at DE abroad.

I’d really recommend you attend implications counselling as you’ll have lots of decisions ahead ie anonymous/known, Uk/abroad etc. We attended Implications counselling as part of NHS fertility service. It gave us knowledge and also prompted my husband and I to talk a little more about what life would be with and without kids.

There is also some great donor Instagram accounts too.

I think you’ll know when your ready. Sadly we have not been successful yet but we’ll keep going, using a donor is a special journey❤️

[Dollymixture15]

hi there ,

We made the decision after 3 unsuccessful rounds of IVF. AMH of 4. Not an easy decision and tbh I struggled with the decision all the way through pregnancy. I won’t lie about that. We used a clinic in this country (with my husband’s sperm) and the experience was much calmer and more optimistic than IVF with own eggs. It wasn’t going to happen for us with my eggs and that was the reality.

Baby turned up 1 week ago and she’s perfect and I adore her. And that’s it really, she is mine. I carried her and gave birth to her and I also read up on epigenetics and the role that plays. The thought of still trying with my eggs or giving up altogether is too depressing now that she’s here. It’s also far more common than you think - people just don’t talk about it.

[Heichi26 in reply to Dollymixture15]

thanks for this, and for your honestly about how you felt during pregnancy . I worry I will feel this way. We would also use my partner’s sperm. I’m scared of feeling like an outsider in my own family or that I’ll constantly be trying to “ make up” for not being biological mother. But I recognise these are worries lots of people have.. and the hopefully fade into oblivion when you meet.

[Trytryandtryagain84]

I think give yourself some time to process the idea. We started talking about it on our third OE cycle but still went forward with another two OE cycles after that. After 5 OE cycles my body felt done with the drugs so I knew it was time to explore donor in more detail. I had a friend at work who had used donor sperm so that had socialised the idea with us. Without that i think it might have taken us longer so try to meet people who have gone through it. Pathways to parenthood is another great forum for people who are at different stages. There's lots of great videos/ interviews which explore some of the major themes when embarking on DE. The aspect I have struggled with given unexplained infertility is whether we might be lucky on the next cycle but I want to get on with the next stage of our life and I am hoping DE gives us that miracle although I know we still have a journey and it's not guaranteed. We have just selected our donor and will do the transfer in a few months time. Everyone reaches that place at a different time but I think you know when you are there. Good luck!

[Heichi26 in reply to Trytryandtryagain84]

thank you, that’s really helpful. Ive had my third ER and just 2… as 2 follicles were empty…. I am waiting on the update calls this week. You really do need to learn to live with uncertainty in this process 😅 Once I know the outcome, I feel that I will be more ready to commit to DE. At the moment I’m trying to ride two horses! VERY best of luck to you for your donor cycle 🙏💗