Struggling in wait after TWW

[Lamagarden]

Hi Everyone,

I was lucky to have a BFP after a FET (8th transfer, 8 ECs!) about 10 days ago, having early pregnancy scan on Thursday but have got myself into a tizz. Had been feeling nauseous and super tired in TWW but feeling physically ‘normal’ again and am soo anxious about Thursday that they’ll be nothing to see. I know there’s nothing I can do and nobody knows until Thursday but am just feeling so terrible about it. I know I should walk, breathe, distract myself, just wanted to share as I know lots of you have been here.

[Bristolballoonfan]

Congratulations on your BFP, I’ve been a very anxious pregnant person so completely understand (every time I’ve stressed it’s all been totally fine) but if helpful I felt completely phsyically ‘normal’ until 5/6 weeks. The tiredness from the TWW could well also be the mental exhaustion of everything you’ve been too and the waiting so maybe a positive that’s gone too 😊 Sending all the best wishes!

[Lamagarden in reply to Bristolballoonfan]

Thank you! Just sharing it is helpful. The week goes more quickly than the weekend because of work, so hopefully Thursday pm will arrive soon and the waiting will be over. All the best to you xx

[Hidden]

congratulations! I felt like this with my pregnancy & my clinic did HCG bloods for me, they helped SO MUCH. Could you ask for that today & in 48 hours? Or GP maybe? X

[Lamagarden in reply to Hidden]

I phoned today and they’ve rescheduled me for tomorrow afternoon! I couldn’t believe it! Feeling relived already. Thank you x

[JoyfulStar]

Congratulations on your BFP. As you have rightly said, the anxiety about waiting is common and will continue in one way or another for quite some time. This is what IVF does to you. Even after scans and everything being fine, the relief was always short lived. I had another anxious wait till the next one and the next. As time went on, it got better but was still there for the most part.

The only advice I can give is trying to stay positive as the odds are in your favour. Also distract yourself with nice things especially at the weekend.

[Lamagarden in reply to JoyfulStar]

Thank you. I know so many IVF women go through this The scan has been moved to tm, so only one more day now to wait and I’ve got lovely plans this weekend, feeling much better today. Thank you x

[Catmumtogoose5]

Hi lovely, we’re all here with you! I can remember feeling the same way and unfortunately the feeling might follow you throughout pregnancy. Take each day at a time! Also I felt pretty normal symptoms-wise until around 6-7 weeks, when nausea reared its ugly head! Take care of yourself xx

[Lamagarden in reply to Catmumtogoose5]

Thank you. Yes, day by day is good advice, and it’s amazing how different I feel today. I had a dream that I had had a little girl and I woke feeling so happy and positive, which is very different to how I’ve been waking up recently. And my scan has been moved to tm, so only one more day. Thanks so much x

[WillowPark]

Hi Lamagarden - congratulations! What you are describing is so normal. Both in terms of the anxiety and also the symptoms coming and going. You are still very early and most people (ie non-IVF conceptions) at this stage have very mild or no symptoms. I was convinced at my 7 week scan that it was all over. I had no symptoms by that point and had some spotting. When the scan went perfectly, the feeling was unreal. There is a separate Fertility Network Pregnancy Support forum. Might be worth hopping over there for a look around. It might put your mind at ease. Realistically most people say they don't stop feeling anxious until about 24 weeks when you start to feel baby every day. It is a tough old journey this and the trauma stays with you, so keep looking after yourself and know it is OK to worry, but you should try and enjoy the fact that, for now, it is happening! x

[Lamagarden in reply to WillowPark]

Thank you so much! Your words really help. I think the weekend is a real trigger as I don’t have the structure of the week, so I was kinda unraveling yesterday. Have a lovely weekend planned this coming one, keeping busy is so helpful. Thanks very much x

[Hidden]

Morning, I can empathise I was lucky enough to get a BFP from embryo number 8. It takes so much to get to seeing those two lines I think we imagine that everything from that will be pure joy, but in reality the wait for a viability scan is so difficult. Even after that it’s still an anxious time but at 8 weeks I have stated to feel less of a panic and more confident things will be ok. Hang in there it’s not long now till you see with your own eyes everything is ok x

[Lamagarden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! And wow, I’m so happy for you. Scan has been moved to tm, and am feeling more hopeful. Thank you and best of luck x

[Cichy_88]

Hello dear, I feel you! This anxiety never goes away....I'm 12w and still anxious and paranoid at every scan! Take care honey

[Lamagarden in reply to Cichy_88]

Thank you! It’s so hard isn’t it. Really hoping this is our time, feeling calmer today, so we’ll see. Many thanks x

[Lamagarden]

Thank you everyone! Your responses have really helped, thank you xx

[Christianbaby]

Oh, I completely get how you’re feeling—those days leading up to the scan can be so overwhelming. Wishing you all the best for Thursday, and hoping you get the reassurance you're hoping for. Hang in there! Congratulations! xx

[Lamagarden in reply to Christianbaby]

Thank you, I’ve managed to rearrange miraculously to tomorrow, so just one more sleep and feeling more positive and calm today. Thank you x

[Christianbaby in reply to Lamagarden]

Hope it went well?

[Lamagarden]

It didn’t go well 💔 two sacs but they look empty. So sent to EPU for bloods, will have bloods again in two days before they’ll confirm. So bracing myself for another miscarriage. It’s shit and painful but weirdly it’s better than not knowing - as the anxiety was crippling me. Thank you for asking, I hope all is going well on your journey xx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Lamagarden]

So sorry to read this!! I understand your anxiety and your current position to a degree too, it’s just awful. I fell pregnant for the first time recently and didn’t have symptoms, then I started spotting which made me really anxious so I had a scan and they said I was pregnant with twins but they were measuring small, both had heartbeats. I was told to come back a week later. I couldn’t wait it out so i had another scan 3 days later and they were both dead. I don’t know how I will tolerate things if I get pregnant again as the anxiety of waiting is horrific and I fear it will go on for the entire pregnancy. So whilst I don’t have anything helpful to say, you aren’t alone and people here understand and feel your pain. Sending love xxxxx

[Lamagarden in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

Thank you and sorry to hear of your loss, it’s so gruelling xx

[Millymolly28]

I completely get what you mean about the paralysing fear of waiting & not knowing. It’s such a tough journey at every stage. Sending you much love ❤️ make sure you are well looked after by those around you! It’s an emotionally exhausting process x

[Lamagarden in reply to Millymolly28]

Thank you xx

[Lamagarden]

I'm not sure if people will see this update…but the update is: when I went back to EPU 3 days later they said they could see growth - we were gobsmacked. My bloods had also gone up. We were told to come back again in 2 weeks (!) to see what has happened. We managed to get seen today- expecting the worst and we saw a heartbeat, there had been more growth - we were dumbstruck! Still have to go back next Friday to see if there’s been further development. So hoping, hoping, hoping that this is our miracle baby! It’s been a rollercoaster of a week!

[Cichy_88 in reply to Lamagarden]

How It Is going? 🙏🏼

[Lamagarden in reply to Cichy_88]

Hello, not good unfortunately. We had two ‘good’ scans where there was growth and a heartbeat but the last scan on Wednesday showed no further growth from the week before. However, because there’s a heartbeat - bless, a miscarriage cannot yet be diagnosed. I have another scan this Thursday, hopefully we’ll get a definitive answer and can move on to intervention. It’s a long process, waiting for a heartbreaking outcome Thank you for asking, sorry I couldn’t be sharing better news! I hope all is well in your journey xx

[Cichy_88 in reply to Lamagarden]

I'm so sorry to hear that! After your update of 10days ago I really hoped for the best for you, your baby is so strong and want to stay with his mama! It's all in God hands now...I hope a miracle baby will happen to you soon as It happened for me, now I'm 14w with a boy but 2 years ago I lost my child at 8w, I know the heartbreak and the struggle of the healing process....send lots of love to you xx

[Lamagarden]

Thank you. I’m so happy you’re at 14 weeks - that’s amazing! This is our third loss - heartbreaking. But we will heal and keep going somehow. All the best and thanks again xx