Struggling after failed FET

[IVFtake2]

After three rounds of stims, two egg collections and one cancelled, we finally got 2 PGT tested embryos. Had my first FET 10 June and got BFN on Thursday 20. It was devastating having gone so much to get a negative.

We have one euploid left and am turning 44 next week so won't be doing any more cycles with OE.

Going into our first FET I felt really positive and felt our second embryo was a back up if it didnt work. Now our second one is our only chance and it feels like having a baby is as far away as it ever was.

Just looking for some positive stories where people had success on a second FET, or how to pick myself up to be more positive about the next FET.

Thanks ladies!!

[Mercury363]

It's always a kick in the teeth when it happens. You do everything perfectly and have such hope only for the inexplicable to happen for no reason.I got a faint positive my first fet after pgta testing. I was so excited and then the lines faded and it turned into a chemical before I had a chance to dream.

I had two left in the freezer, both tested.

My second fet is now 16 months old and upstairs asleep. He is a perfect baby and I count myself lucky in every way to have him.

I tried with my third embryo and lost that one too in February.

For me, It turned out my lining wasn't good enough which caused my first loss. My third embryo they think was due to my transfer window changing after pregnancy. I am hoping to have something to transfer when I get through all of this!

I'm 42 in Nov. I started stims for my last go tonight 🤞

Try to remain positive. This is a numbers game and you have a dice to roll. Did you have an ermap and Imap done?

Either way you have an option to consider donor eggs if this one fails. There are always options.

Stay strong and think positive xx

[IVFtake2 in reply to Mercury363]

Thanks so much for your reply, congrats on your baby boy and best wishes to you for your current cycle.It truly is such a challenging process in every way.

I have a consult with my doctor on Tuesday so will be asking for every test possible before my last transfer.

We will most likely look at donor eggs if this doesn't work, my partner is up for that but i'm not there yet. I need to feel I've tried everything before moving on, (I also said the same before starting ivf😀) but so much is riding on this last embryo!

[minny_223]

It’s absolutely heartbreaking when your transfer doesn’t work out- there’s no two ways about it. It’s devastating and I feel your pain. You’ve been through so much to get here, an emotional & physical battle. No wonder it hits so hard. It can feel so deeply unfair.

I too had a failed 1st transfer last month, I have 1 left and I’m 41. We likely won’t go into another EC as we too had to go through hell & high water to get to this stage.

I had a couple of counselling sessions via my clinic which has been helpful to offload so far, perhaps that might be an option for you if your clinic offer that.

Be kind to yourself in the coming days & weeks ahead, you’ve been through so much.

Will be thinking of you xx

[IVFtake2 in reply to minny_223]

Thanks for your reply Minny,Sorry to hear about your failed first transfer two, it's such a gut punch after the long road to get as far as transfer.

We are meeting our consultant to discuss next steps, tests etc and I made an appointment with the counsellor in the clinic too. However I went to her last year while waiting for PGT on my first round and I felt like she was pushing for me to go for donor eggs before we even got my results back and I wasnt ready for that discussion at the time. Hopefully this time the conversation will be different.

Has your clinic recommended anything different for your next transfer?? Hopefully the second time lucky for both of us!

[minny_223 in reply to IVFtake2]

How’re you feeling? I hope your counselling session is more beneficial for you this time around. It’s frustrating when you don’t feel heard and understood- especially by a counsellor!

We had a natural cycle with progesterone, so next time we’re going to try fully medicated, and maybe add blood thinners and steroids.

I’m finding that it’s a tough time between transfers..but trying to find small things in the day that bring me joy xx

[IVFtake2 in reply to minny_223]

I have met with my doctor to review treatment before next transfer. She has recommended a hysteroscopy and ERA before transfer (as I only have one embryo left), I was upset by this as they have to be done in different cycles and then when I went to book it the doctor who does the hysteroscopy is on leave the time I should have mine done so it will be a minimum of three months before we can have another transfer and that only if they find nothing once they do the hysteroscopy. That nearly tipped me over the edge yesterday, as I sat in my office with tears rolling down my face.It also will cost nearly 2k to have these done which added to my tears....

However she also said my next cycle would be fully medicated, like yours blood thinners, maybe steroids etc, when is your next transfer due? Hope u don't have to wait too long!