Chemical after FET

[EWFmama]

Hi all, just wanted to share my journey as when I was looking for support it seemed like my situation was very weird. I transferred on August 2nd and compared to my fresh cycle (which was successful), I just felt it hadn’t worked straight away. Weird I know. The transfer was uncomfortable and a bit painful. I didn’t see that bright flash that I did with my first baby. Anyway, I decided to test out trigger (worst idea ever). So the whole tww - I was getting strong positives. Didn’t fade until two days before OTD but sadly it wasn’t to be. I knew my hcg wasn’t where it should be for a healthy pregnancy. Tests fluctuated in darkness and aide from that, in my gut I just knew. So I bled on OTD and test was still positive but super faint. I’ve only bled for 3 days and now I’m just trying to deal with all the emotions, as that was my last Embie and my last chance to grow my family. I’m beyond grateful that I have my daughter, she’s the very best part of my life. Trying to focus on the positives. Best of luck to all you ivf mamas. It is not an easy journey ❤️

[JA-fnuk Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Just wanted to say thinking of you and sending you a big hug Do not be to hard on yourself you did every thing you could to try to make your dream become true Make sure you have people around you for support For added support please take a look at our website fertilitynetworkuk.org Access Support

Look after yourself

Janet-Partner

[kattie22]

I feel you. I’ve my daughter from first FET. I recently had 2 failed FETs and the balance embryos doesn’t seem promising by my doctors. During my last FET , I felt things weren’t right before the FET and during the 2ww , my heart was beating fast all time, Have you thought of doing another retrieval?

[EWFmama in reply to kattie22]

Hey lovely - thank you so much for responding. No - another retrieval isn’t happening for us. I only had one decent Embie 4 years ago when we did the last one so I’m guessing my AMH will be on the toilet now. Can’t do it to myself. Just grateful for what I have and sad I can’t give her a sibling ❤️

[Mercury363]

I am where you are albeit a few months ahead. I transferred my last one at the end of Feb, my faint positive tests quickly went south. I tried another ec in July and got 10 eggs and 2 blasts from that but none made it through pgta testing. I am having to reconcile myself to my Son being the wonderful outcome of all my efforts and I know how lucky I am to have him.

It still hurts though . We were to end up a family of four in my head and that will take a long time to work out and diminish.

I can only wish you luck and say be kind to yourself. Give it time and I am sure life will through something else our way to help us move on. Thinking of you x

[EWFmama in reply to Mercury363]

Oh honey, it is so hard and I’m incredibly sorry we are both in this position. I hope you are healing through all of this and please know I’m around if you ever need to chat or vent to someone who gets it ❤️ xxx

[Chowlady14]

I just wanted to say I’m sorry you are going through this. I had a chemical in May and currently going through another now. My heart is breaking and hate the fact that anybody else is experiencing this pain. Sending you so much love xxx

[EWFmama in reply to Chowlady14]

Oh honey - I am so sorry to you too. I feel devastated that this cruel thing happens to any of us.

I do have a question, I’m sorry if it’s too raw for you- please ignore if it is. I’m just a bit confused about where I am now. The bleeding wasn’t heavy and only lasted 3 days. Do I count that as my period ? Any advice so so appreciated ❤️ sending you lots of love xxx

[Chowlady14 in reply to EWFmama]

With my last chemical in May I had 2 days of heavy bleeding similar to a period (I had bloods done & once they confirmed that the hcg was low and dropping I stopped my progesterone and within 48h full flow) and then it tailed off for a few more days. TBH it was very similar start to finish to my period which actually p***ed me off cos I felt like it should have been more to match how I was feeling.

This time I’ve bled since 10dpt but brown and LOTS of it. However first response pregnancy tests got darker every day. Yesterday on official test day I got my first dye stealer and a big gush of bright red blood. That turned brown and had remained consistently brown my first response tests are still showing very positive but not quite a dye stealer (if I wasn’t as obsessive as I probably wouldn’t even know it’s an issue. I’m having blood tests this morning and Friday so I can stop my meds and let the bleed happen but I know this is going to be longer than the one in May.

I’ve actually had 8 miscarriages in total at all different points from 5 weeks to 16 and I can honestly say none of them are any easier than the other. The longest I’ve ever bled was 2 weeks with a further along pregnancy except for 1 where I had retained products which went on and on and needed a D&C

I think what you are describing sounds like your body has done its job in clearing out what it needed too. I’m so sorry for you. I hope you are stronger than I am. I tend to bottle things up but what’s been helping me this time is some affirmations. You are loved, you are strong, this is not your fault, you are allowed to be sad. Sending you thoughts and prayers xxx

[EWFmama in reply to Chowlady14]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are incredibly strong and I think that strength is inspiring. I know there’s times you won’t feel it - and that’s ok too. The affirmations are lovely. Thank you so much for sharing them. I can’t believe how hard your journey has been. This is my third loss (had 2 D&Cs before my successful pregnancy) and the unexplained infertility description always killed me, as no one could tell me why I was losing these much longer for, precious babies. Sending you strength and love ❤️

[MyLittlePinkness]

Aw I just want to send you hugs, it’s a horrible situation. 💕