hi there sorry if this isn’t the right place. I’ve just turned 34 and I’m really struggling mentally with the toll of trying to get answers about my fertility.
I have been on the pill since I was 16 and came off in 2019 and started TTC. It took almost a year and a half for my period to return and since then my cycles have been crazy. Going months without, going through periods where I’m constantly spotting, having really light “was that even a period” to seriously heavy “Jesus Christ!” Periods. Have had my hormones checked and scans with nothing to report in terms of issues. Was referred to the fertility clinic and my referral was thrown out due to my BMI. I asked if they were going to investigate what was wrong with my cycles and was told they would only investigate if I was struggling to get pregnant :S
So I’m in a vicious circle of being too fat to consider for fertility treatment but not getting anywhere with my body unless being considered for fertility treatments… make it make sense!
I have since started PT and Wegovy and have started to lose weight but I’m honestly so confused and traumatised by the whole ordeal. Has anyone else had similar issues I feel so lost and alone in this all.
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ClaireBear90
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Hi. I would try and put all your energy into getting your BMI down so the clinics will take you on to investigate. Have you gone private or via NHS? I've heard of some clinics having higher BMI ranges than others. Maybe you could shop around?
Hope you have people around you for support Take a look at our website for more support fertilitynetworkuk.org " Access to Support " for UK-Wide Groups [ think you would find Fertility Weight Loss Group helpful just follow the prompts to register] and then look at Regional Support for a group near you These are all free so please do take a look
All I can say is see if you can use this as a push to lose weight. Get your BMI down so you can find the answers you desperately seek. I know it’s not easy… I was in the same position.
Fad diets etc won’t work long term, or necessarily be healthy for pre-pregnancy.
my suggestion is calorie counting. And eating a high protein diet.
You’ll be surprised what calories you can start having.
Do you have Facebook? There’s a great group called
THE CHUB CLUB CALORIE DEFICIT- WOMENS GROUP
it’s fantastic support and the ladies in the group will tell you your ideal calorie and protein intake and then give you advise and support on the best apps to use or how to track accurately.
There’s a whole load of meal ideas and honestly it’s the easiest ‘dieting’ I’ve ever done.
Hi Claire, I am so sorry you're struggling. I'm 33 and will be 34 later this year, and have been struggling with fertility issues/questions forever. I've always wanted to be a mum.
Was your referral for any fertility treatment, or just an investigation? It sounds like you are not looking to start any treatment so I'm assuming it's for an investigation.
NHS should be able to run some hormone tests and possibly a scan (for which unfortunately there'll probably be quite a long wait). I was/am in a similar boat as my cycle was very irregular or absent for a long time and I saw my GP for it. But they'd only run a minimal test and perhaps it's not always accurate unfortunately when not done by a specialist (I was offered a scan and was told I had PCOS which was probably the cause for my irregular or lack of periods but when I went to a fertility consultant I was told it were just cysts and I did not have PCOS).
If you could afford it and would really want to know about your body I'd go private. It'll be expensive but maybe it's worth it if this uncertainty is affecting your day to day life, which would be very natural if that's the case.
In terms of BMI - too high BMI could affect your hormone balance which consequently affect your fertility. If you're not considering IVF which involves sedaton for egg colletion, it would increase the risk associated with anesthetics, which I believe is one of the reasons why many clinics and NHS funding criteria do have a maximum BMI. I know it's really hard to do something about the weight, and it's really sad that we're often only measuerd by BMI which is not always helpful. If you can manage to try to lose weight there'll certainly be benefits regardless, for fertility and other things. But again I do understand how hard it can be.
Please do feel free to message me if you'd like a chat - sending virtual hugs and all the very best wishes x
Sorry to hear that they aren't doing additional testing - it sounds like you're in a frustrating position. I have PCOS but my hormones are fine, it's just that my periods are all over the place and my ovaries are polycystic - but they can only assess that by doing an internal scan. I don't know if it would be worth going private? In my experience private clinics are more thorough and blood tests and internal scans aren't that pricey. Good luck! X
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