Ectopic pregnancy- hope please

[Endofitall]

Facing a really difficult decision regarding whether return to IVF or try naturally again.

As a recap had multiple failed transfers in 3 full cycles IVF and years of TTC naturally. Had lap endo excision and conceived in month after this but then found was ectopic pregnancy, and had emergency surgery due to left tube rupture after attempt at expectant management. Turning 37y now.

we’ve been told recurrence rate of ectopic is around 20% in my situation if we try naturally. But could be around 3-4% with IVF. Problem is I have really poor response to stims. So our IVF chances of conceiving in itself low. And we have seen can happen naturally now.

I’m so nervous about trying naturally again and having another ectopic. I can’t face a third laparoscopy recovery within matter of 6-12 months if I have another ectopic needing surgery! Especially with complications I’ve had post op.

But IVF is no guarantee and may go through all that again to still have ectopic pregnancy. Or have no success.

I do wonder if IVF and PGTA will help reduce risk of miscarriage and TFMR - especially now I’m facing 37y.

I am having some really down and dark moments of thinking I just can’t do anymore and face more pain but I know that isn’t deep down what I want and it’s just everything is raw and it’s just all been so much.

I can’t wait too long to decide though as I was told the best chance is in the 12 months but especially the 7-8 months post excision and that will be July time as I’ve lost months to the pregnancy that could never survive and the aftermath.

If you made it to end of my ramble - thanks!💛

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi. You’ve certainly been through loads here, no wonder you’re scared. Have you had your remaining tube checked out to see if is fully parent before deciding what ro do next. If there is any scarring or blockage in it, there may be good reason to clip or remove it to prevent and excess lubrication leaking into the womb and preventing a developing embryo from implanting. Obviously, if this were to happen, you would be left with IVF and FET. Perhaps check the tube, and if ok, try naturally for a few months, you could be fortunate. I hope so. Diane

[Endofitall in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks Diane. I’ve had a Hycosy before IVF and recently had a dye test at laparoscopy for endo which all showed my tubes seemed fine. Sadly wasn’t really the case with the left one. I think we will probably try for a short while before IVF but I am just so worried I will end up with another ectopic pregnancy and regret that decision. There’s just no right or wrong which makes it mind boggling.

[FlowerGem115]

Hello,

It is really difficult isn't it trying to balance up the risks, choosing the right option and protecting yourself.

I had ectopic too from natural and then miscarriage with ivf so I think i understand your feelings to some extent, sounds like you have been through a lot.

I will be 35 soon and have tried since 30, so dates and time always feel looming and it does not help when others tell me there is time as they haven't lived my time.

After my ectopic it did take me months to be able to try again, it wasn't because I didn't want to, I desperately did, but emergency surgery and ectopic pain is incredibly traumatic. I think accepting that you have been through hell and that time to recover is what you need is important as your aim is to be in the best position physically and mentally.

Perhaps building a plan of next 8 weeks I will... eat like this, do fun things, relax, long weekend away, not try to conceive and then reassess and see how you feel. It might take the weight off for the short term. After my miscarriage I felt immense pressure as I suspected I was more fertile for a few months but I just couldn't go forward and as soon as I expressed out loud to my partner and had support to pause for a bit it was a weight relieved. I am not sure if you have a partner/on this journey alone but hope some of what I have shared may resonate.

My only other thought is to see a counsellor, I am doing this as it was just too much for me.

Best of luck to you xx

[Endofitall in reply to FlowerGem115]

Thank you 🙏🏼 I have had a good talk with my husband and decided exactly what you suggested of having a little break away, just looking after myself, and then see how I feel. I am definitely not emotionally or physically in place to try again right now. So I need to allow that time to heal. Hope you’re doing okay xx