Rollercoaster - dealing with ectopic pregnancy

[PinkFrank]

I think I just need to write down what’s happened over the last 4 days, and this is the only place where anyone will be able to understand it.

4 weeks ago we had our one and only embryo transferred, a week later I got my period. Clearly devastated, we mourned and decided we needed a few months off after 2 cycles of IVF/ICSI in 4 months before our last and final shot (thank you military funding).

This week I had sharp pains in my lower abdomen, which I’ve had before and a GP’s first question is could it be an ectopic pregnancy? To rule this out I did the test I was meant to do 3 weeks ago but didn’t, and saw my first ever BFP.

Called the clinic who booked me in for a scan on Thursday.

Scan showed what I knew deep down, nothing in my uterus where a 7 week little blob should’ve been, but blood in my ovaries and suspected ectopic in my tube.

Sent straight to hospital and taken for emergency surgery to remove tube, which ended up being a ruptured ovarian cyst and heavy internal bleeding which, if left, would’ve killed me. They suspect the ectopic was in my ovary but still not 100% sure until test results come back.

So I had a grief cycle 3 weeks ago which I was managing, 2 days of cautious joy and disbelief tinged with fear then this horrendous state where I’m trying to accept I WAS pregnant, but not really and definitely not anymore. I don’t know where to start with processing all of this. I don’t know what to do or feel or think or say.

If anyone has stayed with me for this whole post thank you! And any tips to deal with the aftermath of ectopic pregnancy would be much appreciated! X

[E8989]

Hi I’m so so sorry for your loss and your ordeal it really is so hard I have had 3 ectopics and I know how hard it is my first was emergency surgery aswell it’s scary cause you fear for your life never forgetting what could have been you almost don’t care for yourself at this point. Have they had to remove your ovary? What was your initial fertily diagnosis? I have been so lucky to have been successful with my first cycle of IVF it can and will happen for you! Hear if you want to talk xx

[PinkFrank in reply to E8989]

Wow thank you, it’s just so much to take in on a short space of time.

No they didn’t remove it, they cut some out apparently but luckily nothing was fully removed.

We’re unexplained infertility.

That’s great, congratulations! Hope you’re keeping well x

[E8989 in reply to PinkFrank]

It really is you have been through so much 😢

That’s good it was not fully removed

I hope you can lean on eachother in the hard time and you will become a mummy xx

[Ewoniuj26]

I am really sorry about the losses,I had similar experience too,had two ectopic pregnancies and I can tell you it’s was tough but look forward to seeing where my first cycle of ivf leads to...

Just keep being positive and do stuffs you normally enjoy and please you’re allowed to grieve so you feel better and look at life differently..,

Sending you hugs🤗🤗

[Hidden]

Im so sorry to read this Pink. Im glad you have had help and kept your tubes. That is hopefully one less thing to worry about? and it reminds us that it can be a very dangerous journey. Wish you much strength ❤️

[Sarah83ap]

so sorry to read what you’ve been through.

I’ve recently been through my second ectopic and I can totally relate to that feeling of trying to hold on to the fact you got pregnant but dealing with grief at the same time!

Take the time to process it. You don’t have to understand it all in one day. Have a cry and let yourself feel.

For me I had two weeks of feeling really down, Then I went back to work which I was debating but thought I should (only because I was working from home) and I honestly can’t tell you how much better it made me feel. It was a welcomed distraction. Even 4 weeks later I have my moments where I think I should be pregnant right now but I’m trying my hardest to hold onto the fact we did got that far and to put all my energy on being positive for when then clinics open!

I wish you all the best and I know it really really sucks but you will begin to feel abit better.

If ever you want to PM me you’re more than welcome xxx