I think I just need to write down what’s happened over the last 4 days, and this is the only place where anyone will be able to understand it.
4 weeks ago we had our one and only embryo transferred, a week later I got my period. Clearly devastated, we mourned and decided we needed a few months off after 2 cycles of IVF/ICSI in 4 months before our last and final shot (thank you military funding).
This week I had sharp pains in my lower abdomen, which I’ve had before and a GP’s first question is could it be an ectopic pregnancy? To rule this out I did the test I was meant to do 3 weeks ago but didn’t, and saw my first ever BFP.
Called the clinic who booked me in for a scan on Thursday.
Scan showed what I knew deep down, nothing in my uterus where a 7 week little blob should’ve been, but blood in my ovaries and suspected ectopic in my tube.
Sent straight to hospital and taken for emergency surgery to remove tube, which ended up being a ruptured ovarian cyst and heavy internal bleeding which, if left, would’ve killed me. They suspect the ectopic was in my ovary but still not 100% sure until test results come back.
So I had a grief cycle 3 weeks ago which I was managing, 2 days of cautious joy and disbelief tinged with fear then this horrendous state where I’m trying to accept I WAS pregnant, but not really and definitely not anymore. I don’t know where to start with processing all of this. I don’t know what to do or feel or think or say.
If anyone has stayed with me for this whole post thank you! And any tips to deal with the aftermath of ectopic pregnancy would be much appreciated! X