Natural missed miscarriage - Fertility Network UK

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Natural missed miscarriage

Meeandembryos profile image
16 Replies

Hi,

I found myself searching for stories explaining how natural missed miscarriages after IVF had gone and they were hard to find so now that mine has happened I thought I'd write about it in case it can support anyone else doing the same google searching as I was.

After googgling I was petrified as I could only find worst case scenarios.

Mine was far easier and gentler than I could have hoped for and so although everyone is different I want to show this side of it because I feel like people often take to the Internet to write when things have gone quite bad and it doesn't give a true balanced view of different examples

After my frozen embryo transfer worked I went for a private scan at 6weeks 2 days and unfortunately there was no heartbeat. I went for another scan somewhere else the following day and again no heartbeat but the sonographer was reassuring and said that it can take time. Unfortunately my clinic scan at 7 weeks showed no heartbeat and also showed an empty sac with possible shadow. The clinic told me my body had absorbed the embryo and to stop meds and go to EPU.

As it was a Friday I had to wait until Monday to go to EPU. I stopped meds for 1.5 days and then after googling I started them again. When I went for the scan at EPU they saw the embryo very clearly however still no heartbeat.

I was annoyed at my clinic for telling me to stop meds. EPU told me it still could be too early and to come back for a scan in a week. So I continued meds and went back in a week only to be told there was no change in the size of the embryo it was 1.6mm and I was meant to be 8 weeks and 4 days. They gave me the options of medical management, waiting for it to naturally pass and d&c. I opted to wait naturally and go for D&C if it hadn't happened in 2 weeks.

48 hours after stopping my progesterone I had my first bit of brown spotting on my pad in the evening. In the morning I woke with cramping and it was as if I had started my period when I went to the toilet. I spent the day on the sofa with a hot water bottle and took regular paracetamol as I also had a headache from stopping the meds. That evening I passed some clots and wasn't sure if it was the pregnancy tissue. An hour later I sat up on the couch and felt some blood drop into my pad so went to the toilet and there on my pad was quite obviously the pregnancy tissue it was thick and had a slightly fleshy colour to it also with blood. I had moderate bleeding nothing heavy at all as I'd feared. I'm so thankful it went like that as googling had convinced me my experience would be horrendous.

I put the pregnancy tissue in a clean take away tub and in the fridge as I wanted to ask EPU if they would test it. I asked them the next morning and they said they would send it to St Thomas's for testing so if anyone has any experience of this and can tell me what to expect as I don't even know how I'll receive the results.

This was my 4th embryo transfer. My 3rd worked and gave me a beautiful child. I'm eager to go back for my 5th transfer when the results are back.

If you are reading this because you have searched for examples of waiting for a missed miscarriage to pass then I really hope it goes as smoothly for you.

#missedmiscarriage

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Meeandembryos profile image
Meeandembryos
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16 Replies
Darcy1996 profile image
Darcy1996

thank you, that’s really generous of you to share, and so articulate and calm in tone. Wishing you all the success from here.

Meeandembryos profile image
Meeandembryos in reply toDarcy1996

Thanks so much

Hi I'm sorry sorry for your loss and experience, all my babies were lost to MMC after conceiving naturally and I experienced a lot of terrible and wrong scanning experience which is too long to type, but I resonate with your upsetting experience.

I had my second and third baby tested at St Thomas's via my EPU it tool weeks to come back but the results should come back to them, so you need to chase EPU and make it clear if you would like your baby back or not.

Both my babies had Edwards syndrome and downs, I have no children and not been pregnant since April 22.

I'm 45 and can't get IVF I don't have the money, so I just continue to try and not lose my shred of hope.

I hope you get your results soon and can grieve x

Meeandembryos profile image
Meeandembryos in reply toWaiting-for-my-Angel

I'm sorry to hear of your losses! Thank you for the info about where the results will go. The Dr at EPU seemed to think I wouldn't be able to get it back but maybe I will call St Thomas's and tell them I would like them to send it back to me. I just wasn't sure if they could because of the way they test.

I'm sorry to hear you can't afford IVF. I had to pay privately and saved up for my original IVF etc and then also got a loan. Going to have to borrow the money to have my next transfer.

Waiting-for-my-Angel profile image
Waiting-for-my-Angel in reply toMeeandembryos

Thank you, yes you have to fill out the part of the form to ask for baby back, so definitely call them to make your wishes clear.

It was very important to me to be able to have my baby back, but it is personal choice, just do what you feel you want.

Best of luck with your continuing journey

RedFox23 profile image
RedFox23

Im going through a miscarriage atm and was terrified of what to expect too.

We went down the medicated route and it’s all been luckily quite straight forward.

Started spotting on Saturday morning, brown and very light the EPU said it was common and not to be alarmed.

By Weds there were some red streaks and that evening a scan confirmed the worst.

On Thursday night I started to pass some small clots and knew it hard started.

On Friday, I went in for my medical management. I received the medicine around 9:30 and less than an hour later I’d passed the pregnancy tissue. Unfortunately, the nurse said no tests unless you’ve lost three babies.

I know it’s obviously really early days but I just feel so low. We’ve never been pregnant before so we were thrilled and had planned out so many things.

I guess it will just take time to heal but today I feel crushed and like it will never happen for us. Hoping you’re feeling better than I am and thank you for sharing your story - it will make others feel less alone x

Meeandembryos profile image
Meeandembryos in reply toRedFox23

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss! Please don't think that this means it will never happen for you. When I had my first loss which was a chemical pregnancy I was told that the fact I had got pregnant shows my body is capable of getting pregnant again and it doesn't mean it will happen in the same way again. I'm focusing on trying again so I don't slip too much x

Meeandembryos profile image
Meeandembryos in reply toRedFox23

I know it's upsetting especially when you have made plans. My friend who had several miscarriages has a sweet way of looking at it she tells me the baby wasn't ready and is going to come back. She went on to have 2 live births and she says that her first born was the one who had tried to come through the previous pregnancies so for her it helps. Everyone's beliefs are different though.

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2

I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this 😢 thank you for sharing that is so brave and kind of you. I had a similar experience a few months ago and it was similar to yours naturally at what should have been 10 weeks I also had one a few years ago at 6.5 weeks and it was much more painful but again manageable at home so it can defo vary and not always dependant on gestation. I was so worried at over 8 weeks would be horrendous. I did have a successful natural birth in between though so I do wonder if that helped at all with the pain of passing the tissue the 2nd time xx

Meeandembryos profile image
Meeandembryos in reply toTwiglet2

Thank you Twiglet, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Its strange how it can vary so much but im glad that your most recent experience wasn't as painful x

BethanyDavey profile image
BethanyDavey

thank you for sharing your story, wishing you all the luck in the world for your next transfer. Take care x

Jwatsonx profile image
Jwatsonx

Hi Lovely,

So sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing.

We started our first IVF cycle in October, resulting in our first pregnancy, at our first scan at 7w and 4 days, we had a heartbeat however baby was measuring on the smaller side, we went back two weeks later and the heartbeat had stopped, with no pain/ bleeding at all. Was referred to EPU for medication management and miscarried that night, had a follow up scan with EPU 10 days later and they stated the miscarriage was complete.

This Tuesday just gone, we went to our IVF clinic for our baseline scan to start our first FET, only to be told I have remaining product from the miscarriage and we are now unable to start our FET until this is sorted, so again we went to EPU on Wednesday, for them to tell me to wait another week until my period stops, before they will consider a D&C.

Been a absolute nightmare and i cant believe this is still going on!

Wishing you love and comfort and good luck for the future! Xx

Meeandembryos profile image
Meeandembryos in reply toJwatsonx

Oh my goodness I'm so sorry to hear that they missed that there was anything remaining. Just goes to show that those scans aren't 100% accurate. I'm sorry that this has delayed you going ahead I can relate to that feeling. After my first embryo transfer resulted in a chemical pregnancy and I eventually felt ready to go for 2nd transfer they found a polyp in my womb and I had to have it removed before I could go ahead. Hope it all goes ahead soon for you and you can get the next embaby back where it belongs x

Meeandembryos profile image
Meeandembryos in reply toJwatsonx

Also so sorry to hear of your loss xx

Fruitandflowers profile image
Fruitandflowers

Thank you for sharing this and for the thoughful sentiment behind it. I was really scared of what a miscarriage would be like when further along as the two I'd had had been 5 and 6 weeks with basically no development and they were like a normal period. My body didn't recognise it wasn't viable with the third sadly and the HCG was going up sporadically along with other changes and I became quite unwell. It took a very long time to get the hospital to take any action and by then (10 weeks) I was an urgent D&C. But it was quick and and I was physically recovered within a day or two. It feels so wrong to say but I felt so relieved and physically better almost instantly after it was over. The emotional side was entirely different. But I think it does help to find stories where the process itself was not horrendous, as obviously it can be, but at that point in time I was also looking for someone to reassure me it could be ok. So thank you again x

FlowerGem115 profile image
FlowerGem115

Thank you for sharing this, it is actually really reassuring to me. Appreciate you taking the time, especially after your miscarriage. Hope your 5th transfer goes smoothly.

I had one of the missed miscarriages you don't want to read about when you are googling and so having it again does really worry me. Reading that it can pass in a manageable way, as much as I wouldn't want to miscarry again, is what I need to hear and remind myself of for when I continue.

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