I've never posted before, so apologies in advance for the ramble.
We've been ttc 15yrs now . First short protocol cycle was 10yrs ago on the NHS which failed. Second was privately funded using the same hospital and ended in a chemical pregnancy. We took a break after that because the clinic suggested since I was such a poor responder with <0.2amh, that I should move to donor eggs. I was only 37yrs at that point, so wasn't ready to accept that was my best viable option.
I had Endo, and Adenomyosis and fibroids so everything was against me. During my time away from IVF, I had the Endo removed via a procedure and later an embolization procedure for the Adenomyosis and fibroids.
Some years later, new clinic, new me, with only Adenomyosis remaining (that bugger insisted on sticking around regardless of the procedure!!) . We went to Spain and used donor eggs. They were very positive and we were so sure it would work. I was turning 44 and had a 4AA embryo transferred, but was unsuccessful.
Took another breather (although by now I am acutely aware how much time is against us), I regrouped mentally and emotionally for the next round.
So that takes me to the here and now. It's the 4th cycle, my first fet and 15 very very long years. We didn't tell people about cycle 2&3, but we have about this one.. I don't know why. My mum is in pieces and keeps worrying about what my mental state will be if it fails. To be honest I really don't know. I can't focus on that, I'm staying positive and praying this little bean sticks.
If you've got to the end of this ramble thanks for reading. I wasn't seeking advice, just wanted to put my story out there x
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Mikki100
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Thank you! They shortened the amount of days I'm taking the progesterone pessaries. I started them last Wednesday, tested last Friday and progesterone level was already 34! I'm worried my implantation window is really small and I may miss it.
For the 3rd cycle in Spain they down reg me for 7 months to shrink the Adenomyosis. I wish the UK clinic did that with my first 2 cycles. Even though the 3rd cycle failed, the Adenomyosis is much smaller now.. one less thing off the list!
This time they down reg for 2months because I was keen to try again straight away. Keeping my fingers crossed this little one sticks.
Hey I couldn’t read & run . You have been on a heartbreaking journey, it’s so cruel! We also hoped deivf was the answer & embarked on that journey when I was 45 … long story short we have been to 3 clinics in total all private 2 abroad, 4 transfers & 6 top quality embryos all failed 😣 also had ERA done inbetween .
Now nearly 48 & very little hope left . Most of the ladies I connected with years ago all have babies / pregnant. We have 4 AA embryos left on ice .
Thank you so much for your support. Sounds like we've been on similar paths. It is very hard especially when you see the successes around you and you're still waiting and hoping this will be your time. We have 3 embryos left after this one. Good luck, while you have embryos, and you're healthy, you're always in with a chance. Likewise I'm here if you need to chat xx
Hi Mikki100, sending you lots of love! I'm also over 40 (42) and trying to conceive for some long years, went through first IVF, which was unsuccessful.
I completely understand your struggle and wish you from all my heart that this journey will end up in the best possible way for you. Best of luck!!! Big hugs from Scotland
Hi, fingers crossed. I'm 42 and very aware of my age and time is moving on too. I had icsi with own eggs at 40, resulted in miscarriage at 11 weeks, 2nd round 10 eggs retived none made it to transfer stage, suggested my age was a factor I was 41 then and used donner eggs this time at a different clinic in England now (I'm in glasgow) although we transfered 1 embryo and it didn't implant, I actually feel much calmer and better about the over all process this time. Currently getting ready to transfer the last frozen DE embryo we have so, here's hoping. If this fails my very last try will be abroad with DE as the cost here is nearly 3 times that of abroad.
I also feel I can't fully move on with any other major life plans until have fully given everything to this even though we always try and carry on with making plans its always in my mind what about this and that but all of the stress and heartache will be so worth it in the end if it works!! Best of luck xx
I absolutely agree re planning and constantly having this at the forefront of any decision we make. My first cycle with OE only produced 4 eggs, 2 fertilized and were transferred day 3. The second cycle produced only 2 eggs, 1 fertilized which became a chemical.
We really want to be parents and have decided to give it our all using the embryos we have left. It's mentally and financially draining but I'm praying it'll be worth it in the end. Best of luck to you too x
Oh sending you the very best blessings 🙌 💕 Indeed ye have had a very long road travelled so I praying for a good outcome this time, ye definitely deserve it. 😊
What a journey! Best wishes from an endo and adeno warrior. If it gives you hope, nobody in the UK had realised I had adeno and it was thanks to my clinic in Spain that diagnosed that (and a few other issues!) that I had my miracle rainbow baby after downregulating and calming down my adeno. I am rooting for you and here if you need to chat. Lots of love and positivity! 😘😘❤️❤️
Thank you. Whilst the UK clinic knew I had Adeno, they never down reg me.. only my current clinic in Spain did that and calmed it. Congratulations on your miracle rainbow baby and thanks for the kind words of support 🥰
Hi Miki100. Best of luck to your journey and hope you will eventually get to hold your baby that you’re longing for. I’m turning 50 next month and I gave birth to twins 10 months ago. Until now I can’t believe how I did it as I have health issues and obviously with my age. Hang on in there. Miracles still do happen. I just didn’t want to give up. God bless you and your future family. ❤️
I wanted to wish you the best. Your story sounds just like mine. We have been trying for 22 years! We did 3 cycles with me and OE, we did one cycle with a surrogate and DE. We are starting our 2nd cycle with her sound. The 1st ended in a miscarriage at 6 weeks. Most of our friends are grandparents! But we don’t want to give up. You hang in there! Sending you a virtual hug!!! And best wishes!
I know what age pressure feels like and what it adds to the struggle. I didn’t tell people about my treatment, I’m still not entirely sure why but I beg you not to feel any sense of shame or embarrassment, if either have anything to do with it, I think that was a big part of it for me. I didn’t really post during my journey but the few times I did the love and support showed me it’s not just about getting advice, just a lot of love from other people who have or are going through what you are can really help. I am wishing you all the luck and love in the world, don’t be shy about asking for support if you need it again xoxoxo
Thank you so much for your kind words of support. The reason I didn't tell anyone about round 2&3 was due to the immense pressure I felt (rightly or wrongly) in round 1. People tend to think IVF is fail proof, and when it wasn't successful, I felt like a failure. I've never posted either until now, but have always read and found solace in what others posted. This is why decided to share my story. It's been a long journey, which hasn't ended as yet. I'm still hoping and praying for my HEA. I'm 6dpt so we shall see soon enough.. ❤️
Hi there - I am new here, joined because I am confronting IVF with DE at the age of over 40. It has been a five-plus-year journey, so far marriage has been defined by IVF. After five cycles, the last two being DE it is hard to balance the emotions or have a framework to pitch the emotions. You are doing everything you can, and that is enough, mother nature always makes up its own mind in the end. We have the courage to keep going. I have decided this time, I won't tell anyone in my circle, except the boss who's sister has been through it. A lot of expectation and pressure was taken away in my situation. I am waiting for the results of my latest DE transfer, I've decided not to take any home tests, what will be will be. It is good when the clinic is customising all they can for your body. A supportive clinic is key. When I read people's stories, it is amazing how random it can be, circumstances people become pregnant. My Gyno told me, people with worse biological status have gone on to be parents. That was his way of saying, anything is possible. Not sure if anything I wrote helps or resonates. I am encouraged to read how resilient we all are on this whirlwind journey.
Thanks you. I tested 7dpt and 8dpt and it was negative. I think I test because I'm go to the office after my beta test and want to prepare myself for the likelihood it's failed (stops me from having a mini breakdown in front of colleagues when the results come in!). My beta results came back an hour ago confirming that it is indeed negative. This was my second DE transfer and my 4th transfer overall. Needless to say I feel like crap, but already had my cry over the hpts earlier. I have my appointment with the clinic next week to discuss next steps. There's a large glass (or 2) of wine with my name on it tonight. Good luck!
Bless you Mikki100, my heart goes out to you. A large glass of wine, with anything else cosy around you will comfort these moments. A call with your clinic will be good, they'll be considering how to push forward. I know this feeling of a negative result, I hope you the coming days bring much healing. There is a community of us around online, to share and face tomorrow. You take care. ❤️
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