4th DE transfer fail, heartbroken 💔

[Elizabeth1988]

No words, especially after having such a hard day yesterday with constant reminders I’m still not a mum - but wanting it so much. We threw everything at this, ERA, PTG testing, nk cell testing, acupuncture….I did everything.

Heartbroken, devastated & lost where to go next. Seems so unfair. Using donor eggs which has taken me time to come to terms with, and it still fails 😭. Feel so numb & sad & guilty for my amazing partner who is dying to be a dad. Sorry for the downer post, thinking of others on 2ww or those who have received similar news. And sending lots of love to those who have had good news too - you give me hope ❤️💔

[Hoping20]

Hi there, so sorry to read about your latest transfer not working. Like you say it’s heartbreaking. And especially when you feel you have done everything in your power to make it a success. Give yourself some time to get you emotionally prepared for your next steps - that is so important. I know yesterday was such a difficult day for us all but today is another day - so focus on you and your well being. You will be okay x

[Elizabeth1988 in reply to Hoping20]

Thank you lovely. Done a lot of crying today but cuddles with our pup 🐶🤎 have helped. Will be sad for a few days then will pick myself up & look at next steps. Already feel determined to not let it stop my determination to continue. Thank you again xxx

[Missl73]

I’m so sorry to hear what a hard time you’re having, I can only imagine how sad you must be feeling. It’s not your fault, you have nothing to feel guilty for. Take care of yourself, grieve, be angry whatever you need to do and then regroup and decide what’s next. Sending strength xxx

[Elizabeth1988 in reply to Missl73]

Thank you lovely, means a lot. Trying not to blame myself as I know I couldn’t have changed anything. Hope you’re doing ok, and lots of luck & love for your journey 😘

[Elmo13]

I’m so sorry. Sending you big hugs ❤️

[Elizabeth1988 in reply to Elmo13]

Thank you xxxx

Just read you got a BFN yesterday too. I’m so sorry, it’s so hard and unfair. Thinking of you snd sending lots of love. We will get there ❤️

[Pnw2020]

So sorry this round hasn’t worked. Take time to process things and allow yourself to time to grieve but keep hopeful that this is another hurdle for you to overcome. And seek fertility counselling if needed.

I haven’t had these tests but have heard they are good for recurrent implantation failure - Emma/Alice test. Might be worth researching these more and discussing with your clinic.Sometimes it may also be worth retesting things like thyroid and vitamin levels as these can change, especially with medication used for transfers.

[Elizabeth1988 in reply to Pnw2020]

Thank you so much for your kind words and tips! Will definitely look into this. Thank you. I hope your journey is going well, and you’re staying positive. Can’t believe how many strong women there are on this incredible forum ❤️❤️❤️

[Littlepeax]

So so sorry to read this Elizabeth 💔💫 can't imagine how you are feeling. Please don't be too hard on yourself lovely. It's so hard. Give it time and be kind to yourself. You defo shouldnt be feeling guilty. You are amazing xxx Here if you need to chat ❤❤❤

[Elizabeth1988 in reply to Littlepeax]

Thank you so much ❤️❤️ means a lot. Being sad today & tomorrow but will pick myself up and get back to work on Wednesday. So hard. But ladies like you give me hope. Hope your scans and everything goes well. So excited for you & thank you so much xxxx

[Littlepeax in reply to Elizabeth1988]

There is still so much hope. Don't give up ❤ but take your time to take this in. And thank you so much. Praying all goes well xxx

[minnesota_girl]

💔💔

[Hidden]

I am so sorry, sending you the hugest hug xx

[Elizabeth1988 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you lovely ❤️

Your Attenborough post made me smile…I was exactly the same. Bloody mess. 😂🥰

[Redsequin]

Oh no. I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. I was looking out for your update and so hoping you'd get your BFP this time. It's completely bl**dy unfair, and you have nothing to feel guilty about. You are doing everything you can and then some! I hope you're looking after yourself and having a little time off, and that after you've rested the hope returns. Hugs xxxxxx

[Elizabeth1988 in reply to Redsequin]

Thank you so much ❤️ Feeling a little better this morning, and very determined to not let this stop us. These messages of support really do help 🥰.

Hope you’re doing well, & enjoying every minute of your exciting news ❤️❤️

[Cinderella5]

Hey Elizabeth, I'm so sorry for your heartbreak.😪 I had a thought time even after moving to DE to getbour BFP. Is this your first transfer post ERA? Did they find anything significant with your ERA? Did you have your progesterone levels checked? The reason I ask is our first one didnt work but our second go following the ERA and much higher dose of progesterone got us our twins. Massive hugs, I know it's hard....it was our 9th transfer (including OE cycles) that we had success.xxx

[Elizabeth1988 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you Cinderella. Been following your journey since joining this wonderful forum. Such an incredibly tough time you had but what an amazing outcome. Hope you & your twins are doing well ❤️❤️

Yes, first transfer post ERA. I was 12 hours pre receptive, but my clinic for some reason don’t check progesterone levels despite me asking them. I think I need to push harder, they’ve never been checked. They’ve just said I’m on a high dose already (x1 Lubion & x2 cyclogest a day).

Thank you for your message xxxxx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Elizabeth1988]

My first transfer post ERA didnt work but the next one did! Make sure you do your ERA protocol to the letter. You are on a fairly high dose of progesterone but you could still need a bit more. It would be good to get your levels checked even if you have to pay for it. I ended up on 2 Cyclogest 400mg and 2 lubion 25mg per day. In hind sight it would have been cheaper and easier to do progesterone oil injections but they can be nippy! Hang on in there!xxxx

[Elizabeth1988 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you, I’ll definitely push for a progesterone check for the next one. So frustrating as I’ve been asking for the past 2/3 transfers 🙄. But moving forwards, not looking back. Thank you so much ❤️

[Sheldonmycat]

just want to say i know how you feel i have had 10 donor egg transfers and so far 2 biochemical 1 blighted ovum.. right now im Week 5 with number 10 donor egg but im exspecting the worst with my history. I thought donor eggs would be a gaurantee but i guess not. I have had 3 diffrent donors. Also tried double donation., maybe a new donor Will be better for you or have you Been tested for ureaplasma ?

[Skittles11 in reply to Sheldonmycat]

Not sure if you aware but this post is from 2 years ago x

[Sheldonmycat in reply to Skittles11]

Oh sorry i did not see that