4th Failed DE Transfer just lost what to do

[walla12]

Hi Ladies,

My husband and myself decided if the 4th transfer didn't work that that would be it. We got a negative result. My husband now wants me to try again as we have 2 DE embryos left. I am in my late forties and I don't feel i can keep going as I'm too old and none of the embryos implanted. We spoke to the doctor and he said all tests from my husband and I all ok...only thing I have fibroids but there not near the uterus. I don't think its ever going to work, we never got pregnant ourselves either with my own eggs. The doctor now is suggesting to transfer both embryos. I told him I do not want twins at my age. I am lost with what to do, do I go with my feeling of leaving it as I have 4 failed after embryo tested and they are all AA embryos. Has anyone been in this situation. Any help ladies would be appreciated.

[minnesota_girl]

Hi Walla I'm so sorry to hear this, it's beyond tough.

Can I ask if you did ERA/ALICE/EMMA tests?

[IVFat40]

Hello hun, I'm so sorry for all you've been through. It sounds like you're really struggling with implantation failure, I wondered if the clinic have done tests around this? For me it was testing, and then treatment, for natural killer cells that finally enabled my embryo to implant. I also had a range of blood tests and the ERA biopsy.

[walla12 in reply to IVFat40]

What is Natural killer cells? What type of test is done for his. My things as well is they want to transfer 2 embryos I'm afraid if they do this we could have twins that if it works....we haven't made our mind up yet what to do

[IVFat40 in reply to walla12]

From what I've understood testing for overactive natural killer cells is essentially testing to see if your immune system might be over vigilant and essentially attacking embryos as foreign bodies, potentially preventing implantation or leading to early losses. I had two uterine biopsies to check my uterine natural killer cell levels and they came out high. I've seen other women on here have a blood test to check the natural killer cells instead. For me the recommendation to treat it was steroids (Prednisolone) and also the endometrial scratch, I think steroids is a really common treatment for overactive nk cells (but there are other treatments as well I believe). For me the steroids worked first transfer (after 5 failed transfers or 7 embryos).

I also thought a lot about whether to do single or double transfers, it looked to me from the research that there was a slightly higher cumulative success rate when transferring embryos one by one, so for me that was the route I took, but of course it's such a personal decision and the right thing will be different for everyone.

This might be interesting:

nature.com/articles/s41598-...

[Maisie234]

So you think you still want to try? It's so blooming hard, and exhausting going through all this. Have you had any break at all?

I think you would probably always wonder what would happen if you didn't try.

I think have a break and then decide, no promises to your husband.

I swear mine stuck because I upped the progesterone and had the steroid. We transferred two DE and I am pregnant with twins at 44.

Sending you a big hug, as I know it's so hard. Go with your gut and don't put more pressure on your self. Sometimes that's the one that will work when you don't expect it. Xx

[walla12 in reply to Maisie234]

Thanks for relying to me, that's what I am afraid of it having twins at my age. I'm in my late forties. I always wanted a baby but one, I don't live near family and my husband has no family to help either so it would be too hard. After 4 fails and never getting pregnant ourselves I find I am drained from it all as we have being doing this all last year. We had made our mind up if the 4th didn't work we would leave it. Now my husband want us to try for one more. The doctor said to use the 2. My head is all over the place what is the right thing to do?

[Maisie234 in reply to walla12]

The right thing to do is nothing. You can't think now which means you need just a few weeks or however long to clear your head. It's too big a deal to force and answer just now. You're not a machine, anyone would be the same, no one realises the energy it takes out of you.

We've got no family about either and no idea what we are in for but omg it's been hard. Right now we are settled and excited but I wouldn't wish or push anyone into this.

Ask for some space. And your answer must be the final one because it's your body. Sending love xx

[Cinderella5]

I have had many negatives with DE and a couple of chemicals before we got pregnancy that stuck. Have you thought about doing an ERA test to check your implantation window? It's not cheap but that's what helped us get our positive that stayed....however we did land up with twins, Im in my 40s too but completely understand why you would think twins are a handful as they are (I have no help either) but magical too!xx

[Angels2us]

Hi I really feel for you I was like you I really didn’t know what to do , and last February we had are last attempt after 7 transfers 14 embryos not one stuck , difficult it was to stop I knew in my heart I couldn’t carry on anymore. Every time I got the negative or chemical pregnancy I felt a little bit of me had gone , I lost all my confidence and felt I was useless at everything I tried. It was very hard decision to make and it taken me nearly a year to come to terms with it , every time a see a baby I think I wish we had our own .

But as they say shit happens and I had to try and move along. By the way I am also 47 so last year I was 46 when I had my last go .

I haven’t wrote on here for nearly a year but I can’t delete the group yet I read through all the time but I have not commented until now .

Give your self time and in your heart you will know what is right. Good night god bless xxxxx