Over 40- failed 4th ivf, multi cycle? Advice

[London1978]

Hello All

I’ve just failed my 4th round of ivf at 42, I’ll be 43 in May. I have had two biochemical and one miscarriage (7 weeks).

My 4th cycle was way less successful in terms of egg numbers and I never went to blastocyst- which I had done on the previous 3 attempts. I had 3 x day 3 transferred and only 4/6 eggs fertilised. Prior to this, I’d had 14/15 collected and at least 3 x blastocysts. I didn’t fall pregnant.

I’m at a crossroads...do I give it another shot? Do I try and do a multi cycle- though I’m not sure how this works...do they collect the eggs and then after 3 cycles you put them in?

My sister is an option but she will be 40 in July and I’m considering her, I know she is older but she had 3 kids in the last 5 years.

Could I get some advice please?

Also, if anyone has recommendations for clinics for over 40s in London, please DM me. I have been with guys who are lovely but it feels like I need to now change.

Thanks!

[JoyfulStar]

Hi there, Really sorry to hear what you are going through. I am 43 soon to be 44 and still going through IVF. I am doing a multi cycle package. 3 cycles of stimulations and embryo banking. My doctor advised this is the best route to take advantage the time I have left. This will be my last attempt mainly because of costs and age.

Like you I had a failed IVF attempt with Guys. I left mainly because of their long waiting lists. Exploring other options was great because it was good to explore other treatment plans rather than more of the same which is what Guys proposed. I can DM you details of other clinics good for IVF for over 40s but HFEA is helpful in narrowing down options- if you look at success rates for late 30s and early 40s.

Good Luck!

[Miracolo2 in reply to JoyfulStar]

I'm on the same boat! Almost 44 and trying again with OE...

[London1978 in reply to JoyfulStar]

I’d love any details you can provide via DM about your clinic please. Much appreciated!

[Duchess2018 in reply to JoyfulStar]

Hi JoyfulStar, please DM details of the clinic you are using for your multi cycle package (if you don’t mind). Thank you.

[hbonju in reply to Duchess2018]

Hello and thanks for the info. Please send me the details of the clinic via DM. Thank you

[Miracolo2 in reply to JoyfulStar]

Hi Joyful Star, if you could DM to me too the names of clinics over 40 I'd be grateful. I am so conflicted. X

[Rumi40 in reply to Miracolo2]

I know its cheeky but can someone pls DM me too. i am in the process of switching clinics too but would love some advice where i should really go. Im 41, 42 in oct with low AMH 2.56. failed IVF and IUI. any help and advice would go along way. thank you

[CYM1978]

Hi LadiesI am also 42 and have recently had 1 failed ivf cycle. During a conclusion meeting with our consultant she was adamant that it was all down to my egg quality because of my age as I have carried before (albeit 23 years ago) and my other half has no fertility issues.

We had a 3 day transfer of a Grade 1 fertilised egg, the best it could’ve been. We also had 2 further fertilised but they didn’t make it to blastocyst 😥

Because it was down to egg quality she advised that no amount of ivf can rectify egg quality and so it would be a case of just throwing money into it in the hope that maybe one day we will catch a good / ok egg but there was no guarantee and no way of knowing when and if that egg would come along.

We are totally devastated and heart broken but we were so grateful to her for being so honest with us.

After 4 rounds can they tell you why? Give you some honest reasons as to why it isn’t working?

Sorry this sounds so frank but I just wanted to relay what our consultant told us.

Age is a b***h! 😥

Thinking of you xxx

[JoyfulStar in reply to CYM1978]

I agree, for us older women, egg quality is the issue and there is very little we can do about it. Having a lower ovarian reserve also doesn’t help.

I personally was not ready to give up after one go despite how disappointed I was and I even felt guilty about the money wasted!

After several consultations, research and soul searching, my husband and I decided that we would decide how much physically, mentally, emotionally and financially we were willing to invest in something that may not yield the results we would hope for. Our plan B is to adopt.

When I asked myself, whether I was too old to be doing IVF, my other half said something that hit home. He reminded me that I have the right to at least try if that is something I want to do.

[CYM1978 in reply to JoyfulStar]

Joyfulstar

We did exactly the same. We could afford 1 round and after that we would have to discuss other options, which we are now doing. But at least we tried.

Plus I’m not emotionally strong enough to constantly go through it, I admire those that do. Xx

[Lillilly]

Hey London, I was 38 when the specialist told me I had about a 2% chance with my own eggs. I’m 41 now. My partner was prepared for us to pay for another OE attempt but I felt with such low odds and the emotional rollercoaster of ttc, it was going to cause too much financial hardship and potential strain on the relationship if we continued on the OE route. We have a strong relationship where we’ve also considered a life without kids if it didn’t work/money ran out. The other factors in my decision to move to DE was the risk of genetic abnormalities due to there being something a little quirky with my own eggs. Plus the fact that blood does not equal love and nurture. Frankly, my parents were/are crap. So with all these factors I decided relatively quickly that we’d go the DE route. There was quite a bit of grieving along the way and it hit me unexpectedly. Using your sister’s eggs sounds great but I’d recommend talking to a specialist counsellor on that first. There are many unexpected emotions on the DE path, including potentially a sort of jealously for your donor’s fertility. But that may not be an issue for you at all, just saying it’s worth a few sessions with a counsellor to help consider the unexpected.

I can’t recommend any London clinics I’m afraid as we had treatment abroad. Good luck to you xxx

[Mybelle1]

Hey I didn’t want to read and run. Anytime I had been on these pages I was desperately trying to find answers/support. So here’s mine, for what it’s worth. We undertook 4 rounds of fresh ICSI. Each time had to be fresh, as we had nothing to freeze due to egg quality. We had one chemical, one MMC and one round with BFN. I’m very, very happy to say we are now 25 weeks pregnant and due in June. So here is a list of the things we changed and tried.

1 Clexane

2 Ten month break before successful round

3 Changed sperm.

4 Read It Started with an egg.

I was nearly suicidal when going through all of this, so I hope that any of my information posted today can help, even a little.

Good luck and keep strong.

[Hidden]

So sorry its so upsetting isnt it. I have done 6 rounds of IVF and had numerous chemicals with IVF and naturally and 3 other miscarriages.. I kept going and kept going but the last couple of cycles we didnt get to blasto. I am 43. My consultant advised moving to donor eggs as particularly not getting to blasto and slower developing embryos was a sign of egg quality issues

We went to another clinic and had a second opinion and having seen so many stories of hope on this forum and so many magic tests I some how got it into my head that he was going to have some miracle cure and all would be well and i would have a baby with OE. Well long story short he didnt. He said I could very well get pregnant again but my chances of a successful pregnancy were very very low.. and whilst miracles did happen to people out there it wasn't ethical of him to suggest we spend £1000s financially and god knows what more trauma emotionally and mentally getting our hopes up.

So we are now faced with donor eggs or no children. its a pain in the *&*&*& that I didnt meet my other half a bit earlier, that one of my pregnancies didnt last and most of all I really really hate it that all these other people seem to have miracle babies and I don't BUT I am reconciled with it now and having had some counselling I think I am coming out the other side of the depression its all caused.

I think we all have different tolerances emotionally, mentally and financially so none of us can say when you need to consider different options. Have you spoken to your consultant about it?

The tricky thing is you could be one of the ones who start eating an avocado a day and suddenly it could all work for you but from my experience (and I am older as nearly 44) it didnt matter what I ate or what supplements I took (Believe me I tried EVERYTHING) my ruddy eggs kept ageing and I wasn't that lucky one.

Masses of luck whatever you decide. If you think about exploring donor I can PM you the clinic we just spoke to in London. x