single vs double FET using donor eggs @43

[jengi]

Hello everyone

We have a frozen embryo transfer booked next week. We moved to donor eggs, which gave us 6 embryos, all frozen in 2019. Our first donor transfer was a single & ended in negative. Our transfer two 2nd time & now have a 2 year old. We are desperate for him to have a sibling. But the big question is do we go with a single or double embryo transfer. I’m 43 & I also had an emergency c-section with my son.

We are chatting with the clinic tomorrow about 1 vs 2. I was wondering if anyone has any advice to share or any questions I should ask?

My understanding is double transfer doesn’t increase success of getting pregnant but it does increase chance of twins. And twin pregnancy not ideal if you’ve previously had a c-section. Anyone know the evidence or stats behind any of this? Or risk of carrying twins at my age?

Thanks so much

Xx

[Millbanks]

Hi lovely,

I think it depends on who you talk to.

I read somewhere that 2 embryos can negatively impact each other and when I asked the embryologist he basically told me I was being stupid.

For me, I would rather not risk a twin pregnancy so I'd always go with 1 embryo.

xx

[jengi in reply to Millbanks]

Thank you! Do you know where you read this?

[gattonero]

hi Jengi,

my fertility specialist always wanted me to transfer 2, saying chances are higher though the risk is having twins.

In my personal experience, I transferred two DE embryos and one become my daughter. When i tried transferring one 2 years ago it did not work, but you know well it could depend on a variety of things.

Good luck!

[jengi in reply to gattonero]

Thanks for your reply Xx

[Ivfgotadream]

I don’t know many clinics who would agree to a double DE transfer at your age as they are likely to be much better quality and therefore risk of twins (or triplets) is much higher.

Don’t do 2 if you are in any doubt about your capacity either financially mentally emotionally physically or medically to carry birth and raise twins or triplets (I know just as many triplet mums from a double transfer as I do twin mums) . I was 37 fit and healthy and had a happy marriage. I had IVF twins…. we all nearly died during birth and my marriage imploded as their dad couldn’t cope going from 1 to 3 children. I love being a twin mum and would do it all again tomorrow if I could…but I wouldn’t do it at age 43….(sorry)

[jengi in reply to Ivfgotadream]

Thanks for your honesty & sharing the risks, I really appreciate it. Xx

[Hope-and-faith]

hi. Like you we have our oldest child and to produce a sibling we put two embryos. We now have 6 months old twins and a 2 year old. Having gone through twin pregnancy if I did it again I would not put two embryos. My twin pregnancy was so much harder than singleton pregnancy. I developed gestational diabetes, was pretty much immobile for the last 6 weeks. I ended up delivering at 36+5 as one of my placentas failed and I ended up in hospital for 12 days as one of the twins didn’t feed well. What doctors also don’t tell you is that there is a higher chance of certain health conditions with twins. It is also very hard on my and my partner’s relationship as it’s relentless looking after twins. All in all it’s a much harder impact on your body and your relationship and twins are a lot higher to have health problems.

[jengi in reply to Hope-and-faith]

Thank you for sharing, it’s really useful to hear this perspective Xx

[treezuk]

hi hun

I had a twin pregnancy after C section and laparotomy to remove a large cyst and i was fine so try not to worry about that aspect.

I had 4 transfers of 2 embryos and did end up with twins but the others failed completely except one that was an early loss so for me it was 50:50 but chance i was willing to take and we had a child already as well.

Very best of luck

[jengi]

Thank you!

[Livinginhope101]

I had a single embryo transfer at age 46. It split and I have identical twin boys!!! My clinic always advised single transfers for this reason... Not gonna lie, twin pregnancy was SO much harder than single from about 28/29 weeks onwards for me. Just wanted you to know twins can happen evrn with a single transfer - it's rare, but happens! X

[Lana2009 in reply to Livinginhope101]

yeah! we transferred two and at the 6 week scan they told us they had both stuck and then said now we’ll just check to see if they have split 😱🤣😯 we were happy with 2 but the prospect of 3 or 4 was quite scary!

[Lana2009]

Hi,

So my understanding is that transferring 2 doesn’t double your chances of achieving pregnancy but does increase it. I think ours went from 40% to 55%, something like that. We had had 3 failed cycles and were planning to have one last transfer before taking a break and considering other the options, like adoption, so we decided to go for the double transfer in hopes one might stick and ended up with twins. Thankfully only twins. I don’t know how I’d have coped with more… And we don’t have any other children.

We were and are still really happy with our decision as we now have our family. However we have had a difficult journey. Twin pregnancy is really hard on the body - lots of physical risk- and unfortunately our babies came extremely early (23 +6) so we spent a long time in hospital (22 weeks due to complications with one twin). Now the risk is higher for premature births with twins - I know lots born at 32 weeks + with good very outcomes. Ours is an extreme case. Luckily our girls are living normal, happy lives.

But mostly I’d say it is a lot of hard work! It definitely puts a strain on your relationship and the work load is doubled if not tripled with them. I often think how much easier my life would be with just one. Only one nappy to change, only one baby to get to sleep, only one baby to stop crying. Taking them swimming for example - can’t do that on my own as you have to have 121 ratio.

BUT I do believe I was made to be a twin mum. I always wanted a twins when I imagined a family ( before all my infertility stuff popped up). And I believe that everything we did in that cycle worked for a reason. Who knows if either of them would have stuck on their own?! Plus I love my DE like girls more than I could possibly ever imagine and I wouldn’t change having twins if I could. I’d like to have stopped them coming as early as they did, but I don’t regret my decision. They are a blessing - a huge challenging, not-for-the-faint-hearted blessing.

I think things to consider are:

- if you think you can manage twins what is your support network like? I don’t have any family near by (all live 100+ miles away) and I wish my mum was nearby to help out more! Just another pair of hands makes an HUGE difference.

-Have you reached that line of desperation, your ivf limit? Or do you have another round in you? Because if you think you’ve got another round and you don’t think you’d cope then just go for one!

Whatever you decide will be the right one for you.

Good luck!

Xx

[jengi in reply to Lana2009]

Thank you so much for this honest response. We went with one embryo in the end. I’m not sure we could cope with twins, we have no family support nearby. We have also our toddler to consider & the risk of a premature birth plus all the other risks with a twin pregnancy, we decided weren’t worth the risk.

[Lana2009 in reply to jengi]

oh I’m pleased you were able to come to a decision you were comfortable with! I hope the transfer went well and wishing you all the sticky luck in your 2ww xxx

[Ace1991]

I did two at your age. ( first one didn’t work ) I went against their advice and choose an Embie they didn’t select as best. Second time I was inpatient and went against their advice and did 2. ( always think I know best !). That resulted in one beautiful baby boy. What you have to remember is success depends on so many things not just the embie. Womb lining and actual transfer itself. A lot of the reasons for failure are not related to embie. So two is a gamble as you’re putting your chances on everything else being right on that occasion too. go with your gut instinct!!

[Lana2009 in reply to Ace1991]

this is so true!

[RACMumm]

My first ivf pregnancy ended in am emergency section. I was told to wait 1 year before trying again. I then had another cycle & again trabaferred 2 embryos but they were very high graded. I ended up with twins & had no problems at all although I was in my mid 30's. Had a section with the twins & was told not to attempt a natural after that. I'm now 46 🫣 & expecting number 4 after donor FET. I opted for single transfers as I couldn't handle another set of twins and because I'm using tested embryos so higher chance of them sticking. Best of luck with your transfer.

[jengi in reply to RACMumm]

wow! Congratulations. You are amazing!

[Twins2022]

I’m curious to know how it all worked out for you? I had a fresh transfer and now have a 6 year old and then a double FET and now have 18 month old twins. My twin pregnancy was much easier than my singleton surprisingly. My singleton I had an emergency c section after a long labour and with mt twins I had a planned c-section and as corny as it sounds for me it was a magical experience it really was. Dont get me wrong it’s not been a breeze, childcare costs for a start is extortionate! But they won’t be in nursery forever and I’m glad I didn’t start my family until my 40’s x